I do not feel sorry for these women. It is a choice without a doubt. My sister was anorexic and now she is dead. She was alway a perfectionist and over achiever. She was beautiful, extremely intelligent and very talented. I idolized her growing up, and our parent's adored her. She was very happy and well adjusted until the year that I announced my engagement. Suddenly she stopped eating. She was my maid of honor, and on the day of my wedding she weighed only 80 lbs. and was too weak to stand. As soon as the ceremony was over she had to be rushed to the hospital because she collapsed while we were taking pictures. She later admitted that she had spun out of control because in her mind I had achieved something that she had been unable to do. After months and months of treatment in an inpatient facility and many thousands of dollars she recovered. She was realeased to my parents and moved back into their home and was by all appearences doing very well. Two years later I announced that I was pregnant. She feigned excitement and began cutting herself with razors. This was very traumatic for my parents and myself and we focused almost entirely on her and her behavior for the duration of my pregnancy. .After my son was born she began telling me that our pastor, family doctor, and other respected men in our community were involved in satanic rituals where babies were being ceremonially sacrificed. She said that she had been forced to participate in the rituals against her will. Of course I knew that she had concocted the story to frighten me. I told my mother who said, "Oh you know she reads all of those Steven King novels, I am sure she was just relaying a plot to you, not actually presenting the events as fact."
Our parents traveled abroad for business purposes. Each time they would leave the country my sister would create some sort of crisis that would require me to rush to her aid. These were also intended to make Mom and Dad feel guilty for leaving her. On the very day that my husband walked out on me for another woman, my sister's therapist called me saying that she had baracaded herself in my parents home and was threatening suicide. So in the middle of the night I took may baby and drove three and a half hours to her rescue.
The day before I married my second husband she missed her flight from New York and had to stay overnight. She reported that she had been attacked in the airport and returned to her friends's home to recover from the trauma of the event. Although an investigation was conducted there was never any evidence of an assault. Eventually life went on and she recovered. Then I decided to go back to school to earn my degree. As soon as my mother told her this she began to drink excessively and she then became and alcoholic. Eventually she recovered from that and our mom became the focus of our attention because she had liver cancer. My sister chose that time to move out of the house and announce that she had "suddenly become a lesbian and no longer wanted to have anything to do with those of us who were heterosexual." She witheld herself from my mother in the last few months of her life and my mom suffered in anguish over her absence. She and her "significant other" came to visit only the night before mother died and when I left them alone in our mother's room they stole her credit cards from her purse, and quickly left. After our mother passed away they began preying on our father who was in the early stages of Alzheimer's disease. She would have him constantly in a panic by lying to him. She told him that she was dying of a brain tumor, that she had been suddenly stricken blind, had been raped, or that she was broke and starving to death. My dad believed her and would write checks to help her, forgetting that he had already given her money earlier in the day. She stole a fortune from him, literally, and used the money to buy expensive cars, jewelry, and to travel the world. She made his last days miserable as well.
In November of 2000 Beth died. She was found dead in my parent's home by a friend. An autopsy and toxocology screening were performed and the results were inconclusive. The police did find many different medications in the house that were prescribed to herself and three or four other names that she had created in order to get medication.
Although I did love my sister, I hate her memory now. She ruined the last few years of my parent's lives, and her loss has caused me to withdraw from my own life for the past six years. I am so angry with her for all that she did. She had so much love from our family and so much potential and she wasted it all. I never understood her insatiable need for attention and crisis. I don't know how she was able to do the things she did. I am at a loss now wondering if I ever really knew her and I don't know now if she ever loved any of us. I am so angry about this that if you were to go to the cemetary today you would not be able to find her grave because I have not placed a marker on it.
These women are controlling, selfish and manipulative. Parent's who live in denial are not helping their daughters at all.
(Original Air Date: 11/16/06) Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought, 'If I could lose five more pounds, I'd be perfect?' Dr. Phil's first guest, Darlene, thinks that every day, even though she's 5' 3" and weighs 60 pounds. She walks 20 miles a day followed by 500 stomach crunches and 1,200 leg lifts, so she doesn't have to worry about eating. Her twin sister, Marlene, says she's tried everything to help Darlene win this 11-year battle. Could something in her past be at the root of her problem? Is it too late for Darlene to recover? Then, 22-year-old Jennifer weighs 63 pounds and has the bones of an 80-year-old. Food is such an enemy to her that it takes her up to two hours to eat as much as a tablespoon. Jennifer's parents say she needs to control everything -- throwing out their food and telling them what they can and can't buy -- and her anorexia is affecting their marriage. They plead for help to save their daughter's life. What does Jennifer need to do to regain her health? Will these women choose to take a step in the right direction? Join the discussion.
