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Topic : 06/04 In-Laws’ Dirty Secrets Exposed

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Created on : Friday, November 10, 2006, 09:23:21 am
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/17/06) It's often said that parents find true happiness when their child finds true love. But what happens when a mother suspects that her child may be sleeping with the enemy? Gerri fears that her son-in-law, Alan, is such a danger to her daughter, Melissa, and her grandchildren, that he may kill them. She claims Alan is molesting his 3-year-old daughter, and that Melissa is in denial. Gerri says she had no choice but to call Family Services. Alan and Melissa are outraged by the accusations and say Gerri is out to destroy their marriage. Alan maintains his innocence, and Melissa stands by his side. Could Gerri's guilt as a parent be causing her to make these serious allegations? Alan takes a grueling three-hour lie detector test to prove his innocence. Who will be the one apologizing when Dr. Phil reveals the results? Is Alan a monster or the victim of a malicious mother-in-law? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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November 11, 2006, 8:29 pm CST

11/17 In-Laws’ Dirty Secrets Exposed

Quote From: jwiz512

It has been over 5 decades since everything happened. Me and my brothers have suffered so bad for what our parents and family did to us. I am waiting for a 96 year old woman to die to tell what 5 out of 8 of her sons did to us when we were babies and small toddlers. Also what she did to us was almost as bad if not worse. We were rapped by her sons and she beat us and abused us so bad it sent us running to the streets. She is going to be 96 now and with her health and age I am finding it hard to come forward with all that happened. I have recorded my story but I don't know what to do. If I don't tell what happened back then my brother may end up dying in prison waiting for the truth and proof to come out. Yet I know she can't stand in court and it would upset her when he five sons go to jail for rapping us with a weapon. Please someone help me. I have suffered along with my brothers all these years and the abuse never stopped after we left her home. My first husband beat me so bad every day because I was not a virgin when he married me. When I told him what happened and why I didn't bleed when we had sex on our wedding night he never let me live it down and it was the cause of me loosing my children to him because I didn't want the public to know. The beatings from him were so bad and at times he would point a gun at me. I didn't want to have sex and never dreamed when I married him that I would have to take my clothes off. Oh my God this whole thing is such a mess and I need help bad. Please someone help me before my brother dies with this in prison and what they did to us. Our parents and our family destroyed our lives and my brother has been in prison for 37 years. I tried to speak to the Governor but he doesn't have time for people like us who have nothing.
I had a friend...whom was abused by their paternal grandfather.  It was set in from the get go this friend was not to break her Great Grandmother's heart and say a word.  If they did it was for attention and somehow her mind was broken if she couldn't stand to share space with the abuser.  She believed them and the great grandmother died.   She did decide to tell her father, and the next day she told her mother that she no longer cared to be around this grandfather.  Her mother told her through actions that's the last you'll see of me.  This was 12 years ago, my friend lost so much with her truth...but when you fight for what is truly right, it's very easy to keep such things from 95 year old women.   Expect loss of family and friends, during these 37 years those abusers have remained unknown.  My friend still keeps her secret about her grandfather and can only hope she's  not allowing him to abuse others.  He's in his 70's by now....I just want to hug you and talk.. my friend knew she was right all along, and better than her past.  Worth a gentleman and nothing but.  People find their equals, you've not done that yet.
 
November 11, 2006, 9:29 pm CST

11/17 In-Laws’ Dirty Secrets Exposed

hello all!  i'm wondering about just how acuate lie detectors are.  how do you all feel about it?
 
November 12, 2006, 2:13 am CST

urgent

Quote From: coolsister

Good God girl.... get yourself to a good counselor that you can relate to..  There is too much in your life to handle this alone..." You can't change what you don't acknowledge".. and to help anyone else... you must think of yourself first.......They have Clinics in most large cities that take people on a sliding scale as to what you can afford but for God's sake, reach out to someone professional and the only thing we really have in life is ourselves... we add people but the main one is YOU... Call someone right now and make an appointment.....I wish you well.

I agree. You might want to read my published diary on "for those that need help"  by corilayn. I know that we all carry some sort of "heavy crap"  My family is no different. My grandma is the only one who knows that my uncle (her son) molested me. You have no idea what the rest of it is like. My cousin is  a product of rape.,,,my aunts'  "father" raped her. If I got into my family history it would blow most people's minds.

WE ARE NOW ADULTS

GET OVER IT AND GET ON WITH IT

GET HELP (professional) if needed

You know right from wrong. If you were wronged and you have a hard time with it....get help

No matter what happended in the past does not give you the right to "harbor" the poor me ~syndrome. Talk to the grocery store clerk, the landlord, the teacher, the retail girl and they'll tell you a horror story of their own. We all have them.... our job as human beings is to transcend them,( which means to get over it.)Not to sound rude. But really how long do you want to hold onto the past and how you were wronged?  Life is short.....choose happiness. JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
November 12, 2006, 3:27 am CST

Gerri fears her son in law is abusive

Well I can in some ways identify with Gerri.   But I will have to wait and see the entire show before I make any final decision.

 

I have for a very long time believed that my ex DIL has been verbally and emotionally abusive to my granddaughter who is 4 1/2.  There have been times when I have been talking to her on the phone that she will start screaming and cussing at my granddaugher.  She has a really bad attitude and treats others badly.  When confronted with her behaviors and asked why she does some of the things she does, she will tell you "because I can". 

 

5 days ago my granddaughter had an ear infection and was vomiting the night before.  I called her mom to see how she was feeling and then talked to my granddaughter and then to her mom again.  Things seemed ok except my ex daughter in law' s voice sounded a little strained.  She also has a 2 year old son that is a handful. 

 

I asked if I could come by and see my granddaughter and I was told yes you can come over but you have to be here before 12 noon.  This was at 9:45am.

 

I showed up at 10:45am and as soon as I stepped out of the car I could hear my ex Daughter in law screaming, yelling and cursing to beat the band.  I walked up to her front door and stood there a moment or 2 and she was on a tear.  I can't even repeat the language she was using here towards my granddaughter.   I knocked on the door and she continued her tirate when she opened the door and gruffly told my to "lock the door".  Her 2 year old was standing behind her.  She turned around, snatched him up by his wrist and carried him into the livingroom dangling his full weight by his arm.  My granddaughter said "Cody did..." and was immediately cut off by her mom stating that she needed to worry about Makela not Cody.  She then went to state that Cody squirted a bottle of dog shampoo on the bathroom floor and Makela didn't stop him she just watched him do it.  And boy was she ever mad.

 

She tells Cody that now he had to have a bath and left the living room and went into the bathroom with Cody trailing behind her.  Cody falls in the bathroom and she goes HeHe that's what you get for making a mess.  His is crying and she is just  made (fyi the bathroom floor is ceramic tile as  is the livingroom, hallways and kitchen/dining area).

 

While she is bathing Cody, Makela quietly tells me that she was going potty, Cody came into the bathroom and started to squirt the shampoo on the floor.  She tried to tell him to stop but he wouldn't and the she tried calling her mom.  I guess my ex daughter in law just wanted my granddaughter to  cut it off, get off of the toilet and tend to her baby brother's needs.  I don't think so.

 

All the while my ex daughter in law continues to rage.  She had told my granddaughter to pick up her markers and as a matter of fact pick up all the toy.  She of course was yelling and cursing at my granddaughter when she told her to do those things.  I helped my granddaughter to pick up and she finally came to me so I could hug her and tell her I love her.  She then sat in one of her little chairs and said "Mommy yells at me all the time".  I was heart broken

 

I offered to take Makela with me then and there since her mom also accused her of not being sick.  She refused to let me take her, but said to come back at exactly 2:30 and I could pick her up.  At 2:10 my ex daughter in law calls me and states that my granddaughter wanted to tell me something.  She goes grandma I wanna stay here cuz Milton is coming over to take care of Cody and I wanna see him, but will you come and pick me up.  Uh no don't come and you can hang up now.....click.

 

My ex daughter in law had been in a total rage earlier that day and was unable to turn it off.  Now I have been forbidden to come to where she lives anymore by her step dad.  They are just afraid that I will accidentally witness more outbursts of uncontrollable rage.  I was accused to trying to get Makela for my son to have full custody.  That is not true and even her own mother admitted to my son that her daughter is verbally and emotinally abusive but they are afraid to tackle the issue for fear that she will leave with the kids and they will never get to see them again.  You see she has been living there for 5 years.  Those children are like their children too and we all know that that grandma and grandpa really are the ones who are raising my granddaughter.

 

I know she has threatened to do just that because of some of my granddaughters play acting with her dolls.  Threatening to move and not letting anyone know where they are.  I've asked her where she could have heard such a thing and she told me at home.  I asked her now who would say such a thing?  She says my mommy.

 

What's a grandma to do?  My son has been informed of what happened and he did read her the riot act and had her crying by  the time she got off of the phone.  He told her to get off of her lazy ass, get a job, support her kids too and get off of the drugs.  She claims to have been clean for 4 months now and she had the gall to cut down my son because he was addicted to methamphetamines and didn't quit when she found out she was pregnant.  My son was ultimately arrested for the drugs and did 3 years in prison with another 11 years left to go on parole.  Which he has always been "clean" on drug testing.  Has held the same job since he got out of prison and pays regular child support for his daughter.  The other child's father doesn't pay child support because she has not persued it.

 

Desperate in Texas.

 

Missy

 
November 12, 2006, 7:00 am CST

Run to the courts

Please stand up and be counted .

Put these people behind bars .

Get your self free from all this and live , we only get one go round .

God bless you and keep you .

 
November 12, 2006, 8:18 am CST

i know

iknow how you say that it is hard to decide whether or not wait but the longer that you wait the harder it will be you need to find a group band together for support and just go for it i also think that the laws make it hard to prosectut any one i think we all need to get together and change something because there are to many of us and not enough of them where they need to be instead they are on the street still doing because they know they wan get caught so lets get together and do want has to be done put these people wheren they need to go hereis something that might help if it was your chi.ld would you wait no so do it for him he needs you and you need him so if you believe we need some new laws e-mail me and lets get together and make it happen  my e=mail is jmssb01 @yahoo .com remeber i was that child and because i couldn't stop him he did it to his daughter and when is going to stop
 
November 12, 2006, 11:39 am CST

so sry

i am so angry for what they did to u it makes me sick i feel bad she is so old but i think u should know i know its hard but u need to tell u can tell this is eating at u i was beated on milslated i know how u feel but i could never say anything about it and i wish that i would of said something so i wish u all the best and i hope u make the right choice and ease ur mind

                                                                                                                                    hope things work out

                                                                                                                                      christina gann

 
November 12, 2006, 1:51 pm CST

ohh my god!!

Quote From: jwiz512

It has been over 5 decades since everything happened. Me and my brothers have suffered so bad for what our parents and family did to us. I am waiting for a 96 year old woman to die to tell what 5 out of 8 of her sons did to us when we were babies and small toddlers. Also what she did to us was almost as bad if not worse. We were rapped by her sons and she beat us and abused us so bad it sent us running to the streets. She is going to be 96 now and with her health and age I am finding it hard to come forward with all that happened. I have recorded my story but I don't know what to do. If I don't tell what happened back then my brother may end up dying in prison waiting for the truth and proof to come out. Yet I know she can't stand in court and it would upset her when he five sons go to jail for rapping us with a weapon. Please someone help me. I have suffered along with my brothers all these years and the abuse never stopped after we left her home. My first husband beat me so bad every day because I was not a virgin when he married me. When I told him what happened and why I didn't bleed when we had sex on our wedding night he never let me live it down and it was the cause of me loosing my children to him because I didn't want the public to know. The beatings from him were so bad and at times he would point a gun at me. I didn't want to have sex and never dreamed when I married him that I would have to take my clothes off. Oh my God this whole thing is such a mess and I need help bad. Please someone help me before my brother dies with this in prison and what they did to us. Our parents and our family destroyed our lives and my brother has been in prison for 37 years. I tried to speak to the Governor but he doesn't have time for people like us who have nothing.

I have to say that i agree with the statement of another viewer and y'all may not like what i have to say, but dear god it needs to be said.

"give your head a shake lady"

If you have had proof, all these years that your brother is innocent of the crime he has been charge, convicted, and serving hard time for in a prison..what is the matter with you that you would not right that wrong quick fast and in one helluva hurry!!!

No way would my brother ever sit in a prison cell if i had the means to get him out, prove his innocence and assist in his freedom.

I understand being scared, messed up and the like but goodness woman!! there is no way you can convince the general public that no one would listen. Not when you have so many places to go to for help. Write your govenor again, write the president, vice president, copy the letter and mail it to every lawyer, defence attorney, appelate attorney, public official or whatever you have to do. This story sounds unbelievably horrible, my problem is it sounds mostly unbelievable..

Not because of you personally, but because you have waited 5 decades (ya look great for that timeline to be true by the way) allowed a sibling that's innocent to sit in jail..oh wait, prison for 37 years (times are off there) and then please understand, that as a woman who has been abused as a child..i'm only 29 now but i have a great memory and cannot remember it all..and if this happened as babies and toddlers, how much do you truly remember and how much has been imagined and blown out of the realms of possibility as well. Not calling you a liar hun, but stating hard truths.

The part of you being beaten daily by your husband is truly sad, heartbreaking and all that, but come on, did you really, seriously think that you'd never have to have sex or take off your clothes?? I have a hard time with this one, and if what you say is true about your grandmother, hun..the woman is 96, she has one foot in the grave so to speak already, and you are worried about her "feelings" ??

if what you are trying to tell us has any truth to it at all..then here's whatcha do..

1. write and mail the letters to as many people as you can afford to buy stamps for.

2. get some seriously good professional help.

3. divorce the loser

4. pay a visit to gramma and tell her you're saving your brother which you should have done long ago and let her know so she can decide what she wants to do as well if you're concerned. If she is as evil as you've made her out to be then she can handle this..its been a long time commin.

P.S. i hope to god you have at least visited this poor soul you call a brother while he's been rotting away in prison.

 

 
November 12, 2006, 2:36 pm CST

In Laws

If she had a feeling this was happing then she should talk to her daughter first before going to the law.  If she did and her daughter did nothing then ok but have proof from some where like the grandchild saing daddy is doing it to her or something.  If not then she over stepped her rights as a grandmother.  Maybe she just does not like her son-in-law.
 
November 12, 2006, 3:18 pm CST

11/17 In-Laws’ Dirty Secrets Exposed

Quote From: faeryedark

 Of course, if they find she wasn't molested... then she'll have gone thru that exam for nothing in which case I'd be all over that mother- in- law for all the trauma and trouble she's caused
It is no big deal for the pediatrician to check  this little girl has been molested as she will not understand what is going on.  The doctor simply takes a look.  If the hymen is intact and there is no evidence of anal molestation, that is it.  If there is evidence, then that is another thing.  So, don't worry about the little girl being "traumatized" by some exam.  It is less traumatic for her than for us to get our annual's. 
 
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