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Topic : Differing Sex Drives

Number of Replies: 1827
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:17:33 pm
Author : dataimport
"He wants it twice a day!" "She would be happy to go a whole month without touching me." Does this sound familiar?

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November 13, 2008, 10:07 am CST

web comunication

Quote From: jimmy55

I thank you for your kind words , but it seems there is very little I can do.  She refuses to talk about it  or to go to any theropy of any kind.  Well I still love her and guess I will get what I can, it doesn't seem like there's much out there for an older fellow, other than paying for it. We are going abroad soon and that may lead to some relief. Thanks again for you comments and kind advise. i would like to find a way to comunicate to some females some where to talk a little sexy fun, if you know what  I mean.  That would give me some relief. Do you know of a web site that doesn't require money or credit cards that I could comunicate with, it would be just a relief to talk to someone about this problem. Thanks again
Does anyone out there know of a free web site to go and talk to people . I don't want to pay for it, but would like to talk to females who want to have fun.
 
November 14, 2008, 10:48 am CST

no answer to my problem

Well I guess there is no answer to some problems of the marrage bed. The only solution to my first message is to stop worrying about it. The only answer is to get someone who cares enough about you to respond when your needs are not met.  The trouble with that is I have left it to long and am 64. I don't feel anyone wants an old guy like me.  EVEN IF I AM HORNEY AND NOT BAD LOOKIN. HE HE

I am to old to start over now, but I can always hire a female now and again.  lol

 
November 15, 2008, 2:12 am CST

You are welcome.

Quote From: jimmy55

I thank you for your kind words , but it seems there is very little I can do.  She refuses to talk about it  or to go to any theropy of any kind.  Well I still love her and guess I will get what I can, it doesn't seem like there's much out there for an older fellow, other than paying for it. We are going abroad soon and that may lead to some relief. Thanks again for you comments and kind advise. i would like to find a way to comunicate to some females some where to talk a little sexy fun, if you know what  I mean.  That would give me some relief. Do you know of a web site that doesn't require money or credit cards that I could comunicate with, it would be just a relief to talk to someone about this problem. Thanks again
I definately understand your dilema. I don't know any sites where people chat but go to Excite (sex) there are many people on there that I am sure direct you. Its unfortunate that you will settle for a fantasy sex life and I wish you the best and hope the answer to your problems is near. Stay well and I'll keep your wife in my prayers because I have a feeling she is going to need them.
 
November 19, 2008, 1:41 pm CST

sexless for 15 years.

My wife and I have not had sex for 15 years. She says she is no longer interested in sex - not with me, or anyone else. She has essentially stopped caring. She says that she wants to divorce me, and lead a single, sexless life. I

 

Is there any hope for this situation? More to the point, is there any explanation for this? My wife had a complete hysterectomy some years ago, but her sexless behavior started well before that point.

 

If a woman shuts down sexually for a very long period of time, is it impossible for her to start up again? Or is her sex drive effectively dead, and will never come back again?

 
November 19, 2008, 1:49 pm CST

try themarriagebed

Quote From: jimmy55

Does anyone out there know of a free web site to go and talk to people . I don't want to pay for it, but would like to talk to females who want to have fun.
Try themarriagebed.com. There have an entire section devoted to sexual denial and refusal.
 
November 27, 2008, 5:18 am CST

He Seems to Have No Sex Drive

We have been together since April 29, 1990.  At first we had sex every night that he could get it up, He was a big drinker.(he hasn't drank in 8 years, or not that I know of)  But over the years it has been gettting worse and worse, the last two years, maybe we have had sex about 6 times.  He works all the time, and when he isn't working he is tired.  He is a painter, runs his own business.  He works all hours so hard to know what he is doing all the time, just kind of have to have faith.  But I am getting so frustrated at being not wanted that my self esteem is in the toilet, and when I tell him how I feel, he just saids it is not me it is him.  He tells me that it just won't go up.  We have viagra, but we have not tried it yet, he has not found the time.  So please if anyone can offer any suggestions, masterbastion is gettin old and lonely, I need warmth and contact.  I just feel so empty inside, my girls are getting older(they are his girls too).  He just doesn't seem interested at all in sex or doesn't want me, I know I am not the best looking thing around, but he doesn't have to stay.  I need to feel wanted and loved with out being asked... It is hard to get him to play with my hair, or even hug me, how much time does that take.. I just don't feel I am a priority in his life.  Not sure where to go from here.. Thanks for any help t hat you can give me....
 
December 11, 2008, 3:28 pm CST

I want sex more than he does...

I'm in my early 20s and have been in a serious relationship with an amazing man for about a year and a half. There is a 7 year age gap (i.e. he’s older) .

 

Every book I've read, every show I've seen, and every woman I've spoken to describes the man as being notably more interested in sex than his significant other.  This is not our case.  Mind you, I only initiate sex 2-3 times per week, but often, my boyfriend "doesn't feel like it" or "isn't in the mood." He initiates sex about once a week.  According to him, this is also the case with his close male friends and their partners.  We have a fantastic sex life, an emotionally fulfilling relationship, and good communication, but I still wonder why he isn't as interested in sex as I am and why almost everyone else in the world is so backwards from us! haha I guess I just can't believe that this is normal...

 

Any feedback would be much appreciated.

 
December 11, 2008, 3:46 pm CST

Differing Sex Drives

Quote From: cherry62

We have been together since April 29, 1990.  At first we had sex every night that he could get it up, He was a big drinker.(he hasn't drank in 8 years, or not that I know of)  But over the years it has been gettting worse and worse, the last two years, maybe we have had sex about 6 times.  He works all the time, and when he isn't working he is tired.  He is a painter, runs his own business.  He works all hours so hard to know what he is doing all the time, just kind of have to have faith.  But I am getting so frustrated at being not wanted that my self esteem is in the toilet, and when I tell him how I feel, he just saids it is not me it is him.  He tells me that it just won't go up.  We have viagra, but we have not tried it yet, he has not found the time.  So please if anyone can offer any suggestions, masterbastion is gettin old and lonely, I need warmth and contact.  I just feel so empty inside, my girls are getting older(they are his girls too).  He just doesn't seem interested at all in sex or doesn't want me, I know I am not the best looking thing around, but he doesn't have to stay.  I need to feel wanted and loved with out being asked... It is hard to get him to play with my hair, or even hug me, how much time does that take.. I just don't feel I am a priority in his life.  Not sure where to go from here.. Thanks for any help t hat you can give me....

Hey Cherry! I'm sorry you're feeling so down. It sounds like your partner is not terribly confident with himself. Maybe work isn't going so great, he's not confident with his body, etc. If my boyfriend doesn't feel successful out in the world, his self-confidence is shot when he gets home.  Maybe he just really needs some emotional support.  Try to get him to talk about his day and let him know how interested you are in him, his experiences, and his feelings.  Don't push too hard, because he might feel you're suspicious of his behavior, especially since he works so much.  Someone once told me that interested is interesting.  So be really, really interested. 

 

You, yourself, sound down, like you don't feel you have a purpose anymore not that your girls are growing up. Find something you really love to do, something that you're confident in. Eat delicious foods, go for runs, and take long baths. Indulge yourself. Mothers tend to spend their lives in service to their families. Thus, when their children grow up, they feel a void. Your girls will need you for the rest of your life! I call my mother all the time asking her advice.  The point is that if you feel good about yourself, you will glow. Men are attracted to that confidence and youthfulness!

 

I think your relationship has PLENTY OF POTENTIAL! You've been together almost 20 years, so of course you'll hit a rough patch. The key is sticking together and talking about your problems honestly, as you did in your post. You could start by having a “play date” with your man, as my mother calls it.  Just go out and have fun: go to a game, wrestle, cook cupcakes, go go-cart racing. Men often see this type of play as fun and romantic! Build up your trust with one another again, and remember the fun you used to have and can have again! Ease back into your sexual relationship once you’ve re-established your friendship.

 

There is a book called “For Women Only.” It describes how men feel about certain things that we women have a hard time understanding, even if our men have explained them a thousand times.

 
December 29, 2008, 3:16 pm CST

What am I missing?

I am 38 and my bf is 27. we've been dating now for 8 months. When we first started dating, the sex was very good. Not the best I've had, but he really put his heart into it. But within 2 months, I began to notice a change. He wouldn't sleep in my bed. He opt for the living room floor. And days turned into weeks and now I'm luck if he'll give it up once a month... Although he does sleep in my bed now, after I told him how it made me feel that he didn't. Yes I have talked to him repeatedly about the sex thing as well... His answer is that he has chosen for himself not to make sex a big part of our relationship. He says he feels burned out on it now, since before he met me that's all he wanted... Yet he was a virgin until 18 and has only been with 18 women totally...  I have tried to be romantic with him and he has outright rejected all my efforts... He shows no intimacy towards me even during sex.  When I question him about it he always says its him not me. He says even tho he don't show it, he is attracted to me. He says he don't want to be like all other guys and show intamaticy and love. He just wants me to except him for who he is and leave it to him when and if he wants sex or affection... I know this is not normal, but I also don't want to assume that there's someone else. He never goes anywhere and really don't have opportunities to cheat,  other than to spend lots of time online with lots of women... I just wish he'd open up to me and tell me what the true reason is for his behavior.  I feel so alone, yet I can't seem to get that across to him that I need his attention and affection. Has any one else been in this kind of situation?
 
December 30, 2008, 8:22 pm CST

Could it be menopause?

My wife is 45 and I am 39.  We have been together for 16 years.  For most of that time, we have had a great sex life.  But for the past two years, not so much.  Let me say that even after  16 years, just looking at her drives me wild!  But lately, she doesn't respond like she used to. In fact, she usually doesn't respond at all.  In 2007, we had sex twice the entire year.  In 2008, it's been better, but not by much.  I'm trying so hard to understand why.  Many have suggested that she's going thru menopause, but she still has her period every month.  Forgive my ignorance, but could both be happening?

 

She used to be waiting for me naked on the bed, then call me back to bed the next morning when I got up for work.  Now, she's just not interested.  I haven't changed.  I still want her every chance I get.  But when I try, she doesn't react.  She just lays there like she's asleep.  She has told me she's just not that interested in sex anymore.  But this is a woman who used to have sex in public with me for the excitement.

 

Sorry, I am so confused.  Can  anyone give any advise on what is happening here?

 
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