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Topic : Differing Sex Drives

Number of Replies: 1827
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:17:33 pm
Author : dataimport
"He wants it twice a day!" "She would be happy to go a whole month without touching me." Does this sound familiar?

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January 4, 2009, 6:29 am CST

He should count his blessings!

Quote From: barrynonbp

No, you're not crazy. 

As with so many situations in a relationship sex is something you both have to come to a mutual  agreement on.  The frequency of sex can be depending on age, how long you've been together, stress, illness, and so on.  Don't overlook non-sexual issues that may be behind his drive.  Many men may see sex as an acceptance and reassurance of affection by the woman in their life.  You may need so seek counseling to help you both come to terms with each person's needs. 

Listen hunny - your man is lucky you are giving it up three times per week...do you know how many men would die for a 3 times a week  (on a consistent basis) ???  My husband and i have had this discussion (about him not getting enough sex) a million times and i've basically reached the point where i've said i love you but all i can do is 1 or 2 times a week...it's about more than just SEX SEX SEX in a marriage or any relationship for that matter and both partners should respect that
 
January 4, 2009, 6:32 am CST

don't worry about it

Quote From: sexyscientist

I'm in my early 20s and have been in a serious relationship with an amazing man for about a year and a half. There is a 7 year age gap (i.e. hes older) .

 

Every book I've read, every show I've seen, and every woman I've spoken to describes the man as being notably more interested in sex than his significant other.  This is not our case.  Mind you, I only initiate sex 2-3 times per week, but often, my boyfriend "doesn't feel like it" or "isn't in the mood." He initiates sex about once a week.  According to him, this is also the case with his close male friends and their partners.  We have a fantastic sex life, an emotionally fulfilling relationship, and good communication, but I still wonder why he isn't as interested in sex as I am and why almost everyone else in the world is so backwards from us! haha I guess I just can't believe that this is normal...

 

Any feedback would be much appreciated.

it sounds like your hubby really loves you and is quite content on the fact that you guys have sex 1-3 er week. Maybe let him come to you instead of you initiating all the time and see what happens...otherwise, i think he's normal...not all men want sex every waking minute of their life
 
January 7, 2009, 1:08 pm CST

Womans little trap ?

When I was divorced I went out to find the misses right. I finally gave up trying . Then one night I was out just hanging out with friends and this women  came by me and said something . I played hard of hearing and when she leaned over to repeat it I kissed her. To make a long storey short everything was good. We dated for awhile and had more sex then I thought was legal. We got married and ever since things slowed down like she had her foot on the brake. Now that we're almost to a complete stop I wonder what the hell is going on . I know that we're getting older but I'm still interested in sex. I Love her and would never think of straying. Her friends told me it was because she was tired and had to do house work when she got home. I do the house work and some laundry. I cook dinner . What more can I do? Everytime I bring it up she has an excuse. At first I thought she was cheating on me, but now I don't think so. The only time I get sex is when she is drunk and the next morning can't remember it. We do have kids but even when they are out nothing happens.Please somebody help me before its to late.
 
January 26, 2009, 1:17 pm CST

MISSING SEX DRIVE AND ORGASM

I am a 31 yr old woman happily married  to a wonderful man. I think he's extremely sexy and treats me great. The problem you ask? I'm not interested in sex more than once or twice a month. In order to have an orgasm I need to use a vibrating bullet. I can't seem to have an orgasm with just my husband. Any ideas? I want all the help you have to offer pleeeeeease.
 
January 29, 2009, 8:26 am CST

WHAT HAS HAPPENED:

I am a woman in my mid-40's with my husband the same age.  The problem is, when we were dating, we had a GREAT sex life.  The minute I moved in (3 months before we were married, but were engaged) the sex STOPPED.  I am at my wit's end as to why this has happened.  We now only have sex maybe once every 3-4 months.  I would like to have sex at least once a week. How can we get back on the same page, and WHY did he immediately stop wanting sex as soon as I moved into his home?  Help Dr. Phil.....and, by the way, I have brought up this subject many times, and he says I am too focused on sex.  I am very confused.
 
February 10, 2009, 1:11 pm CST

Fighting about sex

Hey all!

  I'm new to the boards here! I needed some thoughts from others with the problem I am having with my hubby! We fight about sex all the time,he always complains he doesn't get it enough,and I say I could give it to him everyday and he would still complain! We do have weeks that are better than others,but whats happening is, if I don't give him what he wants when he wants it ,he ignores me,he will roll right over,turn away from me,or then we argue the rest of the night! We have talked about this a million times and nothing changes,he also will come out and ask me for it,and he wants a answer then and there it's like he wants me to promise him! I just don't no what to do anymore,nothing changes weve been married 9 years and I'm trying,I keep telling him to not blow me off when he doesnt get what he wants,he's showing me thats all he cares about! Anyway,if theres someone out there that has some thoughts about this I'll be happy too hear something!

Thanks,

 
February 18, 2009, 7:02 am CST

look deeper

Quote From: coachjoeh

My wife is 45 and I am 39.  We have been together for 16 years.  For most of that time, we have had a great sex life.  But for the past two years, not so much.  Let me say that even after  16 years, just looking at her drives me wild!  But lately, she doesn't respond like she used to. In fact, she usually doesn't respond at all.  In 2007, we had sex twice the entire year.  In 2008, it's been better, but not by much.  I'm trying so hard to understand why.  Many have suggested that she's going thru menopause, but she still has her period every month.  Forgive my ignorance, but could both be happening?

 

She used to be waiting for me naked on the bed, then call me back to bed the next morning when I got up for work.  Now, she's just not interested.  I haven't changed.  I still want her every chance I get.  But when I try, she doesn't react.  She just lays there like she's asleep.  She has told me she's just not that interested in sex anymore.  But this is a woman who used to have sex in public with me for the excitement.

 

Sorry, I am so confused.  Can  anyone give any advise on what is happening here?

 That is a drastic change on her part. It very well could be  the  beginning of menopause.  But my first thought was she must be going through something that has more to do  with something else in her life.  Is she grieving over a loss ? Did she loose someone close to her? Has there been a major dissapoinment  in her life?  Did she have children? If not , could she be upset that never happened for her?  It seems like she is un happy.
 
February 18, 2009, 1:44 pm CST

Differing Sex Drives

Quote From: rbmccollam

I am a 31 yr old woman happily married  to a wonderful man. I think he's extremely sexy and treats me great. The problem you ask? I'm not interested in sex more than once or twice a month. In order to have an orgasm I need to use a vibrating bullet. I can't seem to have an orgasm with just my husband. Any ideas? I want all the help you have to offer pleeeeeease.

I know just how you feel my husband has not wanted sex for 10 years and he can not get it up anymore. I too use a vibrater and I got myself a lover who is wonderful . My marrage is fine and been married for 39 years so just make yourself happy and life goes on

 
February 20, 2009, 4:38 pm CST

Are you kidding me?

Quote From: bikerrider

I know just how you feel my husband has not wanted sex for 10 years and he can not get it up anymore. I too use a vibrater and I got myself a lover who is wonderful . My marrage is fine and been married for 39 years so just make yourself happy and life goes on

OK, in what bizzaro world do the sentences "..and I got myself a lover who is wonderful" and "My marrage is fine" go together?!?!
 
February 20, 2009, 4:53 pm CST

The biggest sex organ

Quote From: luvjim61

I am a woman in my mid-40's with my husband the same age.  The problem is, when we were dating, we had a GREAT sex life.  The minute I moved in (3 months before we were married, but were engaged) the sex STOPPED.  I am at my wit's end as to why this has happened.  We now only have sex maybe once every 3-4 months.  I would like to have sex at least once a week. How can we get back on the same page, and WHY did he immediately stop wanting sex as soon as I moved into his home?  Help Dr. Phil.....and, by the way, I have brought up this subject many times, and he says I am too focused on sex.  I am very confused.
They say the biggest sex organ in the human body is the mind.  Usually your story is told from a man's point of view.  But while men and women approach sex differently what goes on in the brain has a big effect on other parts of the body.  

Maybe by moving in you went from "girlfriend" to "wife" and that killed his enthusiasm.  Maybe it's now too routine or comfortable.  It went from exciting to predictable.  Not saying that's the right attitude for him to have but it could explain it.  Or maybe he's having some physical dysfunction due to change in his health.  BTW That's a very delicate subject for most men.  

A person's sex drive will alter somewhat throughout their life depending on health, emotions, etc.  But generally most people with a high sex drive don't just stop thinking about sex one day.  If he won't talk about his feeling and thoughts then you're really at a crossroads.  While sex isn't everything in a relationship it sure important.
 
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