Topic : Differing Sex Drives

 them before. Hey, back spacing in the message title does work you have to go in front and press delete instead. So, lilacmess we are guineapigs. Let's see whose brain fries first. I vote YOURS. YOU get to go first.

 

  Hey, how is your marriage going? Did you have an affair after your husband had an affair? Or was it your first husband had an affair and then you had one this past year while married to your second husband? Do we have access to the old boards to read archives. Lilacmess- I can't remember your story!! OH no!! Oh no!! OH no!

My first husband had the affair. I divorced him after 13 grueling months of separation and tearing my heart out trying to forgive him. Anyway, I'm happily remarried to another man now who hasn't cheated and hopefully never will. I've never cheated on anyone. Monogamy comes easily to me. The sting of having it done to you never really goes away though, does it?

  having stayed with my spouse though has not been easy. Even just yesterday, I was wondering if he deserved me- hahaha!

 

  We both have no problem with our sex drives. I actually came to this board- sadly, right before I found out about his affair. I had written about how we were like newlyweds having sex 6 and sometimes more a day. It was and still is so much fun, then WHAM! I find out he is having an affair. I was completely blindsided (no of course hindsight is 20/20- lots of redflags that I never persued).

  Anyhow, I was SOOOOO embarrassed that I had written to Phil about a terrific relationship WE wree having only to be so embarrassed I didn't come back to this board for well over a year.

 

  I didn't think monogamy would come  easy to me when I first married- HOWEVER it really did. I loved feeling like we were alive just for eachother.

 

  

alive just for each other. Yeah, that's how I feel with my husband now. We have our tough times, of course, but we always manage to come back to the good.

 

I'll check back later tonight. I've really missed these boards and people like you, vickie.

 

 

  I think on the infidelity boards it is posting the first messages first and here the last message shows first, ?? now I will have to go back and check on that.

 

  we will have to give this a few weeks probably. if the boards do not work out right they will change them. It does seem that the way it is set up will cause the use of soooo much storage on their part. Having every post needing to be quoted will take up storage.

 

  I don't think I recognise you from the old boards. Welcome !

 

 It would be nice to veiw the entire post that we are replying to at the same time. it helps to refer back to them while posting.

 any tools and my post is all jumbled!  I did nothing but post it so??

  will quoting my own post fix it?

  oh well, there will be some busy workers now.

Hi all, this is my first posting here. It seems as if everyone is talking about the "new" system and not the subject of this board, so I hope I'm not intruding! ;-) My wife and I have been married for over a year - second marriage for both of us. Our problem is that she's never had a normal sex life. According to her, it's never been about her, and she really doesn't know how to express herself. She's not used to the way I am, which is that I like to please her first and foremost. She seems to be okay with that for the most part, but she doesn't reciprocate 99% of the time. ((By the way, this system does stink - what's up with not being able to backspace??)) She feels inadequate and self-conscious and rather than just trying to break out of it, she does nothing, hence our problem. I sometimes feel as if she doesn't have any desire for me, but she vehemently denies that. But the fact remains that things are the way they are and I'm very unhappy with this area of our life. I'll readily admit that I am more focused on this problem because of my experience with my first wife where we just let issues like this go without truly working through it. I don't want this to haunt us throughout our marriage. I'm not a cheater and have zero desire to be with anyone else - that's kind of the problem. I find my wife extremely attractive and she turns me on 24/7, but I don't feel any of that - even a little bit - toward me. I'm in a loop where she only brings up our having "alone" time after I've complained out loud to her, so it gives me the feeling of her appeasing me. But it doesn't last. Not until I complain again, so you could see how that doesn't make me feel too good. Anyone else have this type of experience?