Topic : Differing Sex Drives

Hello, from TX!     

Find out why he is acting this way.  Did he act this way when you first began dating each other, or has he always been this way?  I would say...you have no legal committment to this guy, you are very young, and have a different sex drive - hmmm!  It's time to move on, and find someone who likes what you like!  There is no better feeling than the feeling of being sexually satisfied, desired, loved, and you will not find it in the guy you are with.  Don't try to change him because it's not worth the time, and frustration.     

It's terrible to feel rejected!  It crushes your self-esteem making you feel worthless as a woman, etc.  I have been there...for most of my 26 years of marriage.  If I knew then what I know now...you know the end of the story.  I would have found a guy that would have desired me, and loved to have sex.  I am into the role-playing thing, eating food on body parts, pleasing my man, etc.  But I married the wrong man.  He is not into that at all!  Love has kept us together.  After so many years of marriage, it's not worth finding some other guy just for sex.  Maybe, in my next life, huh?   

I'd say, go girl!  You have a long sexually fulfilled sex life waiting for you with another man.  Go find him.  He's out there somewhere, but please, give him a "short-arm" inspection, first.  I know that this is not the way to find out if a guy has an STD, but you can make it fun! 

To be honest, you need to make him feel comfortable.  It seems to me that he may have insecurities when it comes to performing in bed.  Does he have to have sex with the lights OFF?  Could it be that he is not comfortable with his body, and therefore he does not want to share it with you?  Do you worship his manhood, and tell him it's the most beautiful thing you have ever seen?  Treat it like a God.  Tell him you love his body, and kiss him from head to toe... using your lips and tongue.  Then, whip out a can of Reddi-Whip, Hershey's Syrup, and Marachino Cherries, and make a "banana-split" out of his banana.  He will watch you play, get excited, and watch you eat and lick him off, and it will bring him to ecstacy.  That is what you want!  Make him so self-confident that he will want to have sex anywhere, and anytime you want to.  Be creative in bed, and the rewards will never end. 

Good luck!   

my name is amanda and i am 20 years old .  my fiance and i just had our first child about ten months ago.  during my pregnancy i had really bad "all the time sickness" and my sex drive was non exsitent.  i hurt all the time and felt like i was going to be sick every time i moved my body.  However i forced my self to have sex at least once a week if possible because i felt bad for not being able to plessure my fiance.  now that we have had the baby i still don't really have a sex drive.  i don't know what to do sex just is not appealing to me much these days.  if any one can give me some adivice i would love to hear it.   

thanks  

amanda 

Hi First off, I am near your wife's age (26 not married but engaged also divorced) so maybe I can be of some help. It is only my opinion though so take as you will.
She wanted to wait until you got married and now you have been married since October and you 2 have still yet to me sexual? Did I get that right? So you are married and still nothing going on in your marital bed. Hmm

When I first read this I thought maybe she is afraid to have sex with you. Fear of the unknown maybe? I am sure there is some explanation to this but then there are the other BIGGER issues. She doesn’t talk to you well or much at all. How did you communicate before you got married?  You mentioned that your work schedule and her schedule don’t conflict or at least shouldn't since she doesn’t work out side the home.  Communication between you and her seem to be the larger issue to me. Has she said anything in the way of why you cannot be intimate with her? Sounds like you have defiantly tried many things IE dinner vacation helping her with house work and ECT. You mentioned that you wrote your feelings down I assume a letter to her? Maybe you might need to take a softer approach to this issue with her. She might have the fear of the unknown or the fear of getting pregnant right away. Have you mentioned the what if’s of having children once you do have sex? Those fears maybe something that she doesn’t know how to bring up to you. They also maybe something that she doesn’t want to talk about, for the fear of hurting your feelings. Like I said I don’t know exactly the details to why but those would be my first guesses at it. Maybe you could provide more details to the situation and others can respond. What did you do for your honeymoon? Usually on the honeymoon is when couples engage in sex for the first time in your situation.  These are only my thoughts so take them as you would like but I hope they have provided you some type of insight to why or ways you can go about talking to her in a gentler way.

Dee  

P.S. Thanks for your service for OUR COUNTRY!  

Your husband's actions of wanting sex while the child is in bed with you is very inappropriate. Making love is something that is done between two consenting adults and not in the precense of children.  He has a very bad attitude towards marriage. Its not just so you can have sex whenever he wants it. Its a commitment of two people to share life. Sounds like your doing all the work and he wants the benifits. 

Your looking after four children, thats alot of work to begin with..and then household duties on top of that.  Maybe your just to tired to have a sex drive, or maybe you just are sick of being looked at by your husband as a vehicle for his sexual pleasure. 

Maybe if he helped out a bit, you would have a feeling of being needed and loved for something other than sex. Maybe if he looked after your sexual pleasure in bed instead of his own, you would enjoy sex more? He needs a wake up call. You need to have a talk with him and spell it out, he's immature and selfish. He needs to grow up or your in for a very long and unhappy life with yet another man who is not compatible with you and your needs and another divorce is just around the corner.  ~Red 

sometimes women turn into mommy's once a child enters the picture and they forget that they are women too. They put their needs and their partners needs aside to focus on the baby. But you were a couple first, before the baby came along. 

You need to make time for the two of you. A night out once a week, like a date nite. And the rest of the week make sure the baby has a set routine, so that when he/she goes down for the nite, you and your partner can have some alone time. 

You need to nurture your relationship with your man, as much as with your child...they are both demanding and need attention or they will fail. ~Red 

w o w  

what caught my eye was sometimes she sleeps until you come home? even if she goes to bed after 11pm is shes sleeping until 4pm something is wrong 

yall have not had sex once? 

so yall dont have kids if youve not had sex- why isnt she working? 

I've been with my sweetheart for 1 year now. I have always had a big sex drive. We always fed each others appetites adequately, however, lately, mine is less. He complains that I don't want it as much, and I complain that I need more romance to want to do it.  Why then in the beginning of a relationship, you're content to just have it whenever you can, and any cost, but when things settle in, and you actually start to know the person, it fades and you look for more stimuli?   This is the moment in your relationship where you can have better, more intense sex, why would we need more stimuli?? It's a little question that's been hanging around my head lately.  I try and ignore the feelings of missing the romance, but it still makes it's presence known.