Topic : Differing Sex Drives

I had been living with my boyfriend for 3 years, when one night I got up to get a glass of milk and saw him at the computer looking at Porno.  He says it's normal, I say it's disgusting, degrading towards women and I asked him to stop looking at this filth.  It made me feel very unattractive in bed to the point that having sex with him was a real turn off.  It use to be good - but then I found out that he had paid to see porno on the computer.  I don't think this is normal and I confronted him with it.....he thinks that I'm the one that isn't normal.  He tells me that alot of women watch this and I told him - only women who don't respect themselves.  Anyway one thing led to another, I couldn't accept this and I left him.  It has been a year now that we have not shared a bed or even gone out for a cup of coffee - the funny part is - he keeps calling me, even though he is living with another woman.  I don't know what to make of this.  He tells me she's a convenience, but Hey, I wasn't born yesterday.  I still have feelings for him, I hope they will eventually go away.  I am really suprised that men in their 50's act this way.  Anyone out there that has had this problem - and is it me??? 

Does he feel quilty about the UTI???  You need to talk to him about it, if he's not willing to change, you need to decide whether or not this is what you want.  

I have been married for 15 years and we have gone throught times he didn't want it and times when I didn't want it.  We had to work it out or we wouldn't be together today.    

Could there be any change that he's cheating or that he's gay???  I know that sounds funny, put you need to ask these questions!!!!  

Hello everyone,  

I have to admit that I am hesitant to post but I feel so helpless. I need to talk to someone. Everywhere I turn I hear of similar problems but no one seems to have exactly the same issue in their marriage and I just need to feel like I'm not alone  My husband and I have been married just over two years. I am 23 and he is now 28. We both waited till we were married for sex and so are each others firsts. Before we got married, the sexual tension was huge and we both looked forward to being together after our wedding. Then after we got married something changed. I got a UTI on our honeymoon which lasted for several months. I am sort of shy to talk about such things so I didn't go to the doctor thinking it would go away. By the time it did clear up everything was different. My husband has no desire to be intimate whatsoever. He doesn't kiss me except for what I would consider "pecks" and he has not made advances toward me once in the two years that we've been married. When we do have sex it seems more like he's "giving in".  He loves me, I don't doubt that. He loves to hold me and give me gifts and so many things that other husbands don't do easily. I know many women probably think I should be ecstatic, but I'm miserable. I feel like I'm broken. When every other woman in America seems to be fighting off their husbands (or at least have some period where they had to), I have never experienced what it is like to be passionately wanted.  What can I do? I have talked to him about it discretely, frankly, I've lit candles, I've worn sexy lingerie, asked him to get some medical advice, been spontaneous and forceful as well as so many other tactics (for lack of a better word). He says that he just doesn't like sex and doesn't know why.  I know we're not normal and I try not to blame myself but I can't help thinking that if I were thinner, or prettier something would be different. I know I'm not overweight, nor am I ugly but I can't seem to help blaming myself each time he rejects me.  At this point, we are intimate once every few months and I could probably count how many times we're have sex on both hands.  I really need help.  I don't know if I can do this much longer.