Topic : Differing Sex Drives

We lost our son(stepson) last June. It has devastated our closeness, which I want back so bad. I just am so afraid to approach her. Her moods are understandably unstable. I feel like I am walking on eggshells every day. I work in a prison which is a depressing environment, and sometimes I am afraid to come home to find out what kind of mood the household is in. Has anyone had the same experience?????? NEED HELP IN LAKEVILLE, MASS

OK here goes, all you woman out there might think that i'm crazy or lying but this is the truth,.....my boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years now and we have a 4.5 months old baby girl,........ here's the thing we usually have sex 3 or 4 times a week sometimes more,... sometimes we go 5 or 6 days without, you get the pictures,... anyway my point is that I would want to have sex all the time,... he does too, but his tired because he works 12 hours shifts as paramedic, I get frustrated if I go without for more than two days,.... and he likes it, he brags to his buddies, and all his buddies envy him,... I guess my question is Am I normal?  hope some one replies

You're normal because there is no such thing as normal.  There are a ton of people out there who need to have sex every day and then there are people who only need it once a year... as long as you're happy and healthy and satisfied - it's all good. 

Married 3 years and no sex in a year!  Any help!  My husband will not hug, kiss or touch me ever!  CHEATING?  I AM FAT? I need help on this!

I have never been in this situation but I have had a friend who is a woman who was in a similar situation.   I'm understand that it was this month last year so because I don't know what day this happened, I'm assuming this is a very hard month for her, the month her son was born is also very hard, the month she found she was pregnant for her son is also hard, all this is very important now.   I don't know how old he was, so maybe there were also some major milestones in his life she is remembering or the milestones that will never be.   Be patient with her and understand that she wants to feel close to you too, but, maybe not this month.  She is probably feeling a tremendous amount of guilt because she is outliving her son.     I know a month is a long time but understand she is execeptionally emotional now.   Be understanding, don't pressure and just let her be.   Has she been in counselling for the loss or is she trying to handle it on her own?   I know that my friend did it for about six months on her own and just couldn't anymore, so she did find a great grief counsellor, the counsellor is also a woman, who has helped her tremendously.   Also, I don't know if there are any other children and for your, hers and if there are other children she should seek some kind of guidance.     

 My friend is living again, for a while she kind of stopped just kind of existed, did the things she had to do but with no real meaning or passion in anything.     Now, she is living again.    

  

Good luck to you 

I believe there is great hope for the two of you.      

You say you are fat, that is horrible.   You already don't think highly of yourself.    Why?   How fat are you?   Have you gained an unbelievable amount of weight in the three years since your were married?   Why no sex in a year, did you have a baby?   Do you still have weight to lose from that?   Did something drastic change in your marriage?    Do you love and respect each other?    I need a little more info.   Don't just say I'm fat and he doesn't love me anymore, there has to be to it than that. 

  

Write back. 

ive been married almost 13 yrs and since i had my baby girl three months to soon my husband has stopped wanting sex .. if i touch him he pushes me away .. if i do anyhting im told to leave him alone ..he claims its because he doesnt want any more kids but >as far as i know you can have sex without making a baby..so im not sure what to do..my sex drive is so high and not getting any has got me losing my mind and i didnt have far to go because im bipolar..

We have been married a yr this august, I feel awful as it has been since last nov since we had any kind of intamacy and it is all on me =(, around the time the sex stoped I ended up in the hospital for bleeding ulcers a  multitude of times betwen nov and jan I also have several other illnesses requiring medicatons daily it did not stop at that time from my illness I was sick so we just didnt do it, he is not happy at all understandably so and we have been in hardships financially as of late, along with our puppis causing damage and more monetarty concern so tons going on 

  

I try o tell him all this but he is either not understanding or not happy to the point of where Im afraid I might loose him just because I have been in no mood to function, I offer to watch him please himself as I feel close that way without draining the little energy I do have but he is not satisfied with that going to bed again unhappy , I feel like it is all my fault and just don't know what to do, if he did leave me I would understand but I hope he doesent, I will again feel like getting intimate beyond the minors of intimacy such as holding hands, light kisses etc but for  now just cant do it, either I dont feel good from my stomache or am getting headaches from my rejecting corneal transplant along with nausea (up for 2nd transplant) also I am up for a liver biopsy I dont drink nor do I use contraseptives but they found a liver mass, could it be just me not wanting sex because i cant give him a child and feel guilty? we are wanting to get me unfixed once I am medically better off 

  

 But what can I do now to make things calmer without losing my heart (him) am I doing something wrong by offering to watch him? I feel so goodknowing hes happy but just dont have the psyical energy or mental focus thanks for any answers you can provide in what I am doing wrong and how to save my marriage 

I had a baby on Nov 30 of 2005.  She is my 3rd baby and yes, it is very tiring.  With that said, I do NOT want to chance getting pregnant again.  I am petrified of sex cause of the worry of getting pregnant.  I don't have a way to get birth control, he won't use condoms, not to mention I really could care less that we aren't having sex.  He has something to say about it nearly every day.  I could go the rest of my life without it and never care but, he thinks he will die from lack of sex.  I have tried to explain to him that it isn't him and I try to take the blame for it, but I have lost attraction to him too.  I am on an anti depressant and I know they sometimes cause sexual side effects.  Also, just being 6 1/2 months postpartum may be causing some of this.  I just don't know.  But, I need help.  I honestly think that he will leave me over this if it doesn't get resolved soon.  HELP!!!!!!!!

my boyfriend and i are having a drought in our sex life.  we used to have sex a couple of times a week but now--i'm lucky if i get it once a week.  i have told him how i feel but he has not even tried to make love to me more offten and when i try to suggest it he tells me how tired he is.  i am not sure of anything anymore.  any one have any suggestions how to get the spark back in our lifes???