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Topic : Differing Sex Drives

Number of Replies: 1827
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:17:33 pm
Author : dataimport
"He wants it twice a day!" "She would be happy to go a whole month without touching me." Does this sound familiar?

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June 6, 2009, 12:09 pm CDT

ck2010

Quote From: ck2010

My wife and i, Have been married for over 10 years.

Most of the time we have sex once or maybe 2 times a week.(great)

We both enjoy it, and we both orgasm,  me in the act, and her in the act, with help of a toy.(vibrator)

 

It has just come to light that my wife masterbates when i am not home.(uses vibrater or massager)

If she is off work for a day, or goes in late to work, or home early, she says she might masterbate.

she does not do it all the time, but just on the times she is home alone- maybe 2-3 time a month.

 

I told her, I don't care that she masterbates, but i have also told her that it makes me feel like i am not enough for her.

her responce is that it is differnt masterbating , when she is alone, and that it is none of my business.(i don't understand that, how is it differnt, same feeling))

 

i have masterbated on my own before, but only when my wife is not  available.(out of town)

 

she says she is happy with our sex, and the amount we do it,(1-2 times a week) so i don't understand why i get up, and leave for work, and she masterbates, after we had sex the night before.

 

I have a VERY flexible job, All i ask is for her to call me, when she has the desire. she has allways said she does not have as much sex drive as 'other women' but if she is masterbating 'on the side' then she does have more sex drive, and she is contradicting herself. she also says sex is a differnt feeling then masterbation, I understand, because she needs her clit stimulated to orgasm, so with that said, i could orgasm by watching her.

 

she feels like this whole thing is none of my business.

 

just wanted someone apinion.

 

Thank you

Your feeling left out, I get it. But it is different.  Having sex with you is.. well... work... she has to put her attention on you.  Having an orgasm with a vibrator by herself, is just her making herself feel good and not having to worry about you.  Do you get it now?  She doesn't have to worry about what your feeling, if your being touched where you want to be touched, if your getting off.  All she has to worry about and enjoy when she pleasures herself, is how she is feeling.. it only takes a few minutes for a woman to get off when she does it herself.  This being because we know where to touch, how strong to touch and how long to touch and bing bang boom its over done with and she can shower get dressed and go to work.  No, hot sweaty sex, no feeling involved for you, just her making herself feel good.

 

Don't feel rejected, if she wanted more one on one sex with you then she would ask for it or iniate it but since she isn't, then she likes what she is doing to herself and with you.  If she says she's happy, then she probably is.  Don't worry about something you can't control.  If this is the biggest problem in your marriage, then  you have the world by the tail!

 
June 6, 2009, 10:32 pm CDT

thanks for the responce

Quote From: redneon

Your feeling left out, I get it. But it is different.  Having sex with you is.. well... work... she has to put her attention on you.  Having an orgasm with a vibrator by herself, is just her making herself feel good and not having to worry about you.  Do you get it now?  She doesn't have to worry about what your feeling, if your being touched where you want to be touched, if your getting off.  All she has to worry about and enjoy when she pleasures herself, is how she is feeling.. it only takes a few minutes for a woman to get off when she does it herself.  This being because we know where to touch, how strong to touch and how long to touch and bing bang boom its over done with and she can shower get dressed and go to work.  No, hot sweaty sex, no feeling involved for you, just her making herself feel good.

 

Don't feel rejected, if she wanted more one on one sex with you then she would ask for it or iniate it but since she isn't, then she likes what she is doing to herself and with you.  If she says she's happy, then she probably is.  Don't worry about something you can't control.  If this is the biggest problem in your marriage, then  you have the world by the tail!

Well thank you again. I do know that when we have sex, there is no preasure on her, she says that, and also she knows i will get off.i guess she just wants to get off more often,. i still don't get why she masterbates  by herself.  the only time i do, is when i cant have her.

 

 

thanks

 

 
June 12, 2009, 7:18 pm CDT

LOVING EACH OTHER

I believe that one should love the other the way THE OTHER wants to be loved. or shown love.  Example, My wife says make love to me-  that means rub her back, for she has a low sex drive, does NOT want her breasts or vagina touched unless She is in the mood.  Nothig I can do will get her inthe mood.
 
June 13, 2009, 8:02 pm CDT

jerry

Quote From: jerryminkow

I believe that one should love the other the way THE OTHER wants to be loved. or shown love.  Example, My wife says make love to me-  that means rub her back, for she has a low sex drive, does NOT want her breasts or vagina touched unless She is in the mood.  Nothig I can do will get her inthe mood.
I've never heard any woman call a back rub "making love"... are you sure u are understanding what she is saying?  If she is never in "the mood" take her by the hand to the dr. and get her hormones checked, or ask her why she doesn't want to have sex... then listen carefully to what she is saying.. maybe you don't touch her the way she wants to be touched on her breasts or vagina.... just a thought
 
July 10, 2009, 2:57 pm CDT

i cant stop cheating

 
August 5, 2009, 4:29 pm CDT

quick

wanted to have sex with my husband last nite, i was in the mood, i got on top of him and was not even there 30 seconds and he came and that was it. HE said oh it felt good and there was nothing i could do about it, did not offer to finish with me or anything, just went to sleep...
 
August 25, 2009, 1:33 pm CDT

no drive at all

I read all these post about people not having any sex in a week or a month , I would welcome it that often. Counting back a few years my wife has been interment with me 1 time last October, 2 times the year before ,1 time the year before that and 1 time 14 months before that. I`m not even getting Birthday sex anymore. I am 45 and my wife is 40. Sex has been in a downward spiral for the past eight or ten years now. She blames it on many different things at different times. Things from you need a shower to I am jealous that you are on disability and don't have to go to work anymore, or I am too stressed out all the time. No one can have that much stress. Now I can understand how some men and women find it so easy to go outside the marriage to get their physical needs met.
I try to talk to her about things in a civil matter but it turns into an argument because she wont open up to me. To say the least this is really putting a strain on our marriage.
I think I need Dr. Phils help I think my wifes problems are part physical and part emotional.
 
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