Topic : Differing Sex Drives

Well its hard to tell without knowing your age . 

Are you afriad of getting pregnant again ? Do you and he have any unresovled issues ? 

Perhaps its simply hormones , go to a Dr get checked , talking to your fiance might help as well . 

hope it works out for you  

So here I thought women were the ones who have the low sex drive and fake the all too common "headache" to get out of having sex with their partner.  Well it is not the case in my relationship.  Before we got serious we talked about our sex drives and we both agreed that we both like to have sex every day.  Well I'm am lucky if we have sex once a week!  It started out ok, we would have sex around 4 or 5 times a week.  Now it turns into an argument every time.  When we do have sex, it isn't nearly as satisfying as it used to be because now when he is done, WE are done.  It has affected the rest of our relationship as well.  We are now arguing all the time because he has pulled away dramatically.  He isn't affectionate and shows no appreciation toward me at all.  What do I do??  We love each other very much, but it is killing our relationship. 

It seems to me that he is just trying to get you to feel sorry for him or more sorry for him and that will be his way of controlling you. You don't have to stay and hold this together at all. We all have choices to make in life. You made one years ago when you were younger and now you have another one to make. 

I think all relationships that don't work, are just stepping stones and learning experiences towards the relatiionship that does work. You may be very strong, but he isn't changing this behaviour, thats his choice and one that you can't change. You know that you can only change yourself and your living conditions. If your unhappy and don't want to live this way forever, then its time to leave him and find someone who has less baggage and a more giving spirit. Your not being selfish, he is and he knows how to work you so that you keep staying and putting up with behaviour that your unhappy with. Do some soul searching, yes, run to a friends house and get your thinking straight without him there to make you feel guilty.... You have a choice to make...he already made his. Keep in touch and good luck ~Red 

I am turning to this board to try to find some suggestions.  I don't know where else to go.  I am 35 years old and my husband is 39, we have 5 children 12 and under.  Two years ago my husband was in a near fatal motorcycle accident and has several residual physical issues we are still dealing with.  We had tragedy one after another for the past two years, since his accident, I won't bore you with the details.  My dilemma is this:  It seems my husband's sex drive has not only become non-existent, he says the thought of sex almost repulses him.  I feel that having that intimate part of our marriage is causing a rift in many other aspects of life.  I never thought sex played such a major role in a relationship.  I just feel that things are spinning out of control and I don't want this marriage to fall apart.  Are there any physiological issues we need to deal with?  Is there something I can do to rekindle the spark that was once there?  I really need to have that connection with him to not only feel feminine, but also to re-connect with him as a partner, not just his maid and mother of his children.  Any suggestions? 

thank you so much for replying .... 

the problem has ceased without medications but the problem now is he is back into making me wait for sex unfortunetly this move from him reverting back to non sex in bed with me being naked beside him is frustrating me even more we are going from 1 extreme to the other and back again I keep telling myself it isnt me but something tells me in my head it is me ... 

I am just so confused right now  

he has forgotten how to make love to me and it is like when he is making love its just sex to me but tis making love for him and he seems to be trying so hard it kills my mood for it ... 

I really dont know what to do about it I cant walk away from such a loving man and caring father/step father just because sex isnt big on his mind ....but I have needs sexually that any other man can not fulfil... 

could it be that my sexual urge for him because in my mind he is the best lover I have ever had is he suffering from anxiety or worried he wont be able to stay my greatest lover?.... 

and we do have a lock on our door we bought a front door lock and attached it lol.... 

Thank you so much for your response. I'm still not sure on what to do. No matter what I do, it's wrong. It's a hopeless situation, but I'll try for awhile longer. Then I don't know what will happen....I just might leave.