Topic : Differing Sex Drives

Hello Honey, I know it seems very difficult right now and I am praying for you.  I would like to ask you if there was ever a time where you guys had happy times? Why were you guys so happy and what kind of things made you happy.  Through talking and counseleing others, even those who have been married longer than you guys hav, and I have discovered that many times marriages go sour and can unravel because of each others unfulfilled expectations.  Many times in marriage while raising the kids we become sidetracked from our relationship with our husbands and being that they are not very communicative anyway he may not have been able to express what he was feling and what he would've liked to see from you and just shut down.  And it's not hte right thing to do because then you're left wondering of his love and whether or not the time and effort over the years has meant anything to to him.  If he is willing to communicate with you it would be a task worth exploring if you guys can come up with what each other have missed from each other over the years and come to a compromise to be with one another and place all of your efforts and time to make it work.  The design and sanctity of marriage and it's institution originated by God is beautifully defined in the bible of each's responsibility and duty to love one another.  I pray that  your marriage will be prosperous and blessed and blossom into a beauty that is surpassed by even the biggest imagination.  For God is able to do exceedingly and abundantly above all that we may ask or think.. 

p.s. try getting together a list for each other of what unfulfilled expectations there are and what you would like to see different in each other and pray and see if you guys can meet each other in the middle.   

My relationship with my husband is going on 6 years and within the last 4 yrs he has been pushing for Anal Sex. Each time I had tried it; it has hurt not only physically but emotionally. I have asked him to stop. It's to the point when ever we try to make love he brings it up asking if we can try. I feel totally turned off from sex and he feels that I do not understand his needs. Our marriage is going down hill fast because of this one issue. He has tried to threaten me into giving him anal by saying he will find some prostitutes or with holding money to buy groceries. His obsession with it has grown so much that he surfs the web for anal porn. In his past relationships he had never had anal; so I don’t understand why he just can’t give the thought of it up. I has also have a medical condition that with my rectum that he doesn’t take for serious and thinks it’s all in my head. What can I do?