Topic : Differing Sex Drives

Hello, again... 

I forgot to say that my husband kept telling me that he just wasn't interested in sex.  I asked him if he was not interested in sex with me or with anyone else?  He said he had lost interest in sex altogether.   

I began to analyze the situation.  Of course he would say he is not interested in sex!  Since he knows he cannot satisfy me because it lasts about one minute, and he knows he will become flaccid - in order to avoid being disappointed in the fact that he ejaculates too quickly and/or becomes flaccid and cannot satisfy me; he would rather just avoid sex, period!   That may be what is occurring in your marriage.  Just be upfront with your husband.  Tell him how you feel, and maybe you may find a solution that you both could live with.  As for me, I don't know if I'll ever have sex again, or until we can take care of the problem.  This is very frustrating and hurtful because he keeps pushing me away.  The thought of him taking a pill when we are going to have sex turns me off completely.  I would rather not do it.  God Bless!  

I have absolutely no desire to be intimate with my partner.  But, it seems the more the more he wants it.  I feel there is no intimacy whatsoever-he disagrees when I bring that up however he will come in naked from the shower and stand by the side of the bed in the morning just waiting for me to get ready to get up for work so he can make his demand.  He also seems as other posters have said to have devolped an interest in anal sex out of nowhere.  He makes everything my fault even when it is that time of the month it is like I made it start to spite him.  Recently I found out on our like split he was intimate with a family acquaintance.  I know we were apart so it wasn't cheating, but i don't seem to be able to put it out of my mind.  And, if I cry during sex (because i wonder if he did this or that with her) he says "how long are you going to punish me" I just feel like his is more interested in the act and his satisfaction then me.  But, when I don't enjoy it - it makes him more angry.  any advise for me???

I won't have anyhting to do with a man who desires anal sex. I heard people who do that are at a higher risk for AIDS and Hemmoroids. Also I hear too much nowaydays of boys being sexually abused as much as girls. I have two sons and I would kill any SOB who tried that on my boys. 

  

I don't see thw whole fad of anal sex. We oughta ask the guys to try having it done and see how they like something big being rammed repaetedly up their butts. 

I am 22 weeks pregnant. According to every pregnancy book I've read, my sex drive should increase during the second trimester...well, I'm almost done with the second trimester and it's done anyting BUT increase! I can't seem to orgasm during sex. My husband thinks it's his fault even though I tell him it's the pregnancy. I just feel generally uncomfortable, tired, and just not into making love. Truthfully, I think that another reason is that my husband has gained some weight lately and his belly and my belly get in the way. It's not that I don't want sex at all, it's just that I don't want it every day or even every other day. Once a week would be enough for me!  

Is this normal?  Have any of you had the same experience? Any advice? 

A lot of guys want to have anal sex, and some do say,  "If you love me, you will..."  They are trying to manipulate you into a situation that you may not want any part of.  They don't put themselves in a our place - most of us that find such an act disgusting.  I don't even like it when I go in for a physical, and the doctor does a rectal exam.  I hate it!   

Anal sex can like you said, lead to hemorroids, tearing of the anal tissues, infections, diseases and/or a leaky sphyncter (butt-hole).  The muscle around the anus will stretch, and with time it will stretch too much.  If my husband asked me to let him violate my backside, I would file for divorce immediately, and would tell him to get his head examined!  Don't ever let anyone do something to you that you don't want to do even if that person gets angry, pouts, calls you chicken, tries the guilt trip thing because you refuse to let him, etc.  Ask if he'd enjoy it if you got the biggest strap-on you could find and rammed it up his ass without any lube!  I bet anything he would say, "Not NO, but hell noooo!"      

My girlfriend has no sex drive and we beleive it might be caused from her first sexual experience was being raped on her 14 birthday.   She never told anyone when it happened.  She is now 22, we are engaged and very much in love.  We have sex but she has no desire and very prudish ( no foreplay).  I noticed early that she really didn't get into sex, but we had sex often.  Know I feel like I push her to have sex.  That is an awfool fealing.  Please help with any advise and how to find a good theripist? 

I have the same problem with my husband.  We dated with a sort of long-distance relationship and we had sex every night we were together, then after the wedding I realized that his once or twice a week thing wasn't a phase.  Finally I just let him know that I will go to bed earlier than him and I will amuse myself without him.  Very often, he gets involved.  Very few men like the idea that they are replacable and like even less knowing that their manliness is being replicated without them in the very next room.

That is the most self-absorbed load of entitlement I have ever heard.  Well guess what, women have needs too.  We need to be loved beyond what we can do for you.  If a husband doesn't tell his wife at least weekly how treasured and loved and beautiful she is, some other man will and he may get the sex.  But guess what?  For the most part, we don't cheat.  Because we see that sex is not food or oxygen; it isn't a need.  The sex drive may be second only to hunger and breathing, but it is not a need.  Any primate capable of walking upright is also capable of staying upright when aroused and in the company of the preferred gender.  If that weren't true, rape wouldn't be a crime.

I read a great quote once from a woman who refused to be labeled gay, bi, or straight.  She said "The people I have truly loved, and there have been few, I loved not for their bodies but for who they were as people.  Some have been men, others women, but they all had in common the ability to captivate me."  I may have the exact wording wrong, but I liked the jist of it.  Judging people by what's in their pants is no way to choose a life partner, and if the limitations aren't pre-set on you, then it would be a shame to impose them upon yourself.

Yes.  Fourteen yrs of it.  Fourteen years of the purest hell on earth torment I've ever known.  Get out while you can.  While you still have your self esteem and self worth.  There are men out there with normal sexual desire, i.e. daily.  You just have to look for them.  I believe it's worth it.