Topic : Differing Sex Drives

This is something that is not right. something is up. And i would be darn sure to figure it out BEFORE getting married. Don't jump too fast. Internet porn has taken over a lot of mens sex lives. They prefer to look at that and masterbate and then can't perform as needed with their spouse. I don't advise mariage until it is cleared up . He has to be honest. Men have a hard time fessing up to these things. persue it.

Never beg a man to marry you. there is a reason. maybe he's just not into you. Maybe he wants the freedom of being single. Maybe he has had a bad divorce situation? Maybe he likes it the way it is, why change it. Women are so anxious to get married, you scare men off. If he don't want marriage and you do, move on and find a man that DOES want to get married. stop wasting time.

Maybe she has never had a person in her life that has taught her true intimacy. When i started dating my fiance, he was a wam, bam thank you maam kind of guy, and taught him all about foreplay, lighting candles, wonderful saxaphone music and it has been great since. he had just never learned about true intimacy. Couples have to communicate what is bugging them, and be honest. communication.....I know we have heard it over and over, but lack of is what killed my 23 year wonderful marriage. we stopped communicating. I have learned a lot in the 8 years since the divorce, and it's true...you have to be willing and able to talk about things. getting guys to do this is often very difficult.

Wow, never thought I'd be asking this question but my husband is far too tame in the bedroom.  He can step up and take charge every where else in our lives but trying to get him to "take me" is not going to happen.  I made the mistake in the beginning of being quite the sex kitten and taking charge in the bedroom.  I've been in three other serious relationships and this is always how they start out, me taking charge and being in control.  I figure I do it to maintain some solid footing (or mutual ground?) in the early stages of a relationship.  The thing is, once I get to know someone and trust them, I step aside and let them have control of sex.  I perfer it... well, need it really.  I let them know what I like or need (in subtle manners) but I want them to take control or at least, be equal.  My husband and I became pregnant with our son just 9 months after we started dating and, we had time apart during those nine months (due to work) so after our son was born, when we tried to get on track again, we realized that things were way our of sync.  I've tried several times, each time escalating with more specific conversation, to tell him what I need but to no avail.  He's constantly looking to me for guidance in the bedroom, performing akwardly and asking a lot of questions.  I am sure to let him know when he's doing things right, I try to share fantasies with him  ( I tried to get him to share with me but he balked at the question and then explained later that an ex-girlfriend in highschool made fun of him when he divulged his fantasies to her)  but I'm not having any luck.  His sexual needs are really quite basic and not at all adventurous which is just now me.  I've always had an exciting sex life and I'm not sure how to fire this up with my husband.

I am 35 and my husband is 26, we have only been married a year and a half and dated before we got married for about 2 years. We have never had an issue with sex untill now. He says I make him feel like he has to rather then he just wanting to, so it turns him off. When he finally wants to there really isn't any intamacy, just sex that only lasts 15 minutes or so, I am looking the hours we use to have. Why should I have to wait a week or so just for 15 minutes? I feel like we are growing apart. HELP! I still love him and want our marriage to work, what should I do?

 I don't mean to make light of your delimma, but I wish I had your problem! I have an almost non-existent sex drive and I seem to end up dating these guys that are sex maniacs. Can we trade men? ;-)
Tdogg

He will do sex,but to help me to get in the mood,forget.we've been married 32 yrs and I'm finding harder to get connected with him lately.He's quiet,I'm a chatter box,he's a night owl,I'm a morn' person..He drives semi,and I stay home,and behave myself.he would check porn out,,but when I signed him up for a course on HOW TO SEDUCE YOUR WIFE- he deletes it...I sent him a life boat for OUR sex problem and he sinks the doggone thing...HOW lazy can a man be,,or dense??
'

Okay, my boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years.  He is 27 and I am 24 and we live together. The bottom line is that he never..and when I say never...I mean never, wants to have sex with me. We have gone almost 3 months without it.  I try to talk to him about it and he says that "our relationship isn't based on sex", well no duh, but at least a little will help.  I have went through all of the emotions of being mad, sad, confused, feeling fat and ugly...when I know I am not.  Any other boyfriend of mine use to want to have sex as much as I did.  I have tried talking to him to not saying anything and just letting him initiate it.  And the nights that I do try to have sex with him, he's too tired.  I am tired of being rejected!!!  This seriously hurts my heart, I don't know what to do.  He's a wonderful person, and I know and believe in my heart that he's not cheating.  But I don't want to end up resenting him more than I do now.  Any advice?????