Topic : Differing Sex Drives

Your not selfish to want sex , its part of any normal relationship .   

 The fact that he refuses to see a DR about it  , is a shame . ( he may be trying to solve the problem on his own )   

The funny thing is- it was not always like this- in fact I'd say the roles were reversed several years ago.  As far as him being present at the surgery, he was at the hospital but swears it's not that at all, or my looks, or anything else.  He doesn't spend any time on the internet at all, and the way he behaves or dresses or anything hasn't changed a bit.  I tried to get him to take an herbal supplement that is supposed to help and he refuses. He says he doesn't trust them.  I think 99% of it is stress since he started a new job.  I'll just keep trying to help him work through it but it's getting harder and harder to be understanding.  Thanks for responding.  Helps to know there is someone out there to talk to. ;o) 

what is your medical condition?

  This is a very hard subject to talk about so bravo to you for posting about it. Many people would not even want to hear about it PERIOD.  Many people would also say if it makes you uncomfortable don't do it and the problem is his not yours. In a marriage though the problem is both of yours, right? Aside from his trying to convince you to do anal, he sounds emotionally abusive. Are there other areas in your marriage that he is just not nice to you? That isn't what you psoted about though so back to anal sex...

  Anal sex can be extremely stimulating, very orgasmic. Pure Vitamin E oil is a good lubricant- Ky etc...actually seem to make it DRIER. There are other lubricants that are specifically designed for analsex with numbing ingredients. I think that would negate why you are making this type of love though. If you are gentle during penetration there really should not be any pain. I would suggest that you allow your husband to use his finger(s )first and then the two of you move into a more comfortable level by adding another finger etc...

  Of course, you shouldn't do anything rectally if you really do have a medical condition, you should talk to your primary care DR about attempting anal before this.

  You should also talk to your husband about his form of marital blackmail! Tell him you try to do this because you love him not because he is threatening you. Then, purchase the biggest dildo you can find, and tell him YOU want to try anal sex on him too!   :) hahahaha

Unfortunately, I can relate to many on this board. I have been married for a year and a half and we have had sex 8 times. And to top it off, we have not had sex for going on 10 months. I am 28 and he is 29, way too young to be having problems with this. I even sent a message to Dr. Phil a few months ago because I couldnt take it anymore. Feeling rejected, unloved, and alone, I fell into a depression, which is just not me. I left in January, and we were separated for two months, went through counseling, and I returned on the condition that he went to go see a doctor. Many times have I told him that I cannot see myself married to anyone who cannot be intimate with their wife, but he has yet to make an appointment and keep it. He claims that there is nothing wrong with him, that it all works, but he doesnt have the urge to use it. I cannot take it anymore. A few weeks ago, I finally decided that he will never be able to make  me happy, and I finally came to a peace within myself. Now, all of a sudden, he is being really nice, doing housework, etc, and I could care less. It is too little, too late and I dont know what to do. I feel stuck. I feel guilty as hell, because I know he loves me in his own messed up way, but I am tired of being roommates. He wants a family? How? Does he think that I will just jump in bed with him when he decides to have kids? Sorry. Not happening. In fact, I have no desire to have sex with him anymore. Could care less. Would I ever cheat? No. But I know that there are men out there who would value a marriage and a wife enough to be less self-centered. He now thinks everything is fine and he is happy because his needs are being met and I am no longer saying anything negative. Therefore, if I bring up divorce, he will be blown away. I am fine, except I no longer want this and he does. I AM afraid that I will sacrifice my happiness to keep from hurting him. I dont want to hurt him even though I know unless I begin advocating for my own happiness, I will be miserable the rest of my life. And I certainly don't want that. Enough is enough.