Topic : Differing Sex Drives

Quote From: l2pollack

Of course your cheating ways have caused her to put up a wall-it's a defense mechanism all humans have -to protect ourselves from being hurt.  Going out and finding sex or intamacy somewhere else is NOT going to help you both work this out.  It will only prove to her that your NEVER going to change and she'll wake up one day tired of this and leave you.  Screw me once -shame on you, screw me twice-shame on me!  You have alot of work ahead of you to make this up to her.  Stop worrying about your sex drive for a little while!  Work on rebuilding the trust.  Once you have brought back honesty, integrity and love into your relationship the sex will improve.  One step at a time, don't push the issue with her, she'll only withdraw.  Be patient.

Quote From: justme620

I am in a relationship with a great man. He is almost everything I have ever wanted in my life - financially stable, a great father, animal lover, honest & decent. He has a full time job and runs his family farm (another full time job). He lives about 70 miles away from me. He shares custody of his kids from his 19-year marriage. But, they live with him 90% of the time. He lives and breathes his children. So, it goes without saying that he is very busy all of the time. Because he has his children and his farm to run, I spend a lot of time there. However, it has gotten to the point where I don't know why I am even bothering. I am last on his great list of things to do. He treats me well when he is with me.  But, he is too busy and tired to really do anything with me. I am lucky if we have sex once a week. When we do, it is very good. But, it just is not enough for me. I am really tired of being an afterthought. I have discussed this with him on more than one occasion and have even told him I cannot stay in this relationship if he cannot at least put me on the list. He has tried to focus more on me but eventually goes right back to doing everything just as he was before. I cannot help but to think that I am doing something wrong - maybe I am not pretty enough, sexy enough, something. He assures me that is not the case. But, he just does not seem to be attracted to me. Maybe I am making it too easy on him by always being there and not not making him work at this relationship. I just do not know. He is such a great guy otherwise that I am torn. Do I endure a sexless relationship or do I find someone else? I guess I should mention that I was raped at the age of 12 by my own brothers.  I suppressed it until a few years ago. I have little doubt this has created expectations in me that may not be realistic. So, do I stay with this otherwise wonderful man? Or, do I look for a man that wants me like I want him?

Quote From: indiantime

First of all, how old are you two?  I ask because everyone goes into a relationship with a history.  That can cause havoc even in newlyweds.  I don't think his lack of drive has anything to do with your looks.  It's a symptom of something deeper.  See if he will go to marriage counseling with you.  Yes, even newlyweds can use counseling sometimes.  It's not a bad thing.  Good luck and let us know how things turn out.

Quote From: heasis1211

My husband wants  sex less than once a month. I thinking about  cheating.
 

Quote From: fabat30

This board is confusing.  Page 250, or whatever, is actually Page 2??? hmmmm.....

Not alot of women talk about TOYS in the bedroom.  My husband and I have a wonderful marriage, relationship, sex life.  I was more insecure and unsure when we married, because of my past.  He changed all of that for me, in many ways.  He was the one who brought up toys.  It was uncomfortable at 1st, but brought up ALOT of FUN!  Planning, shopping, experimenting, playing... I highly suggest trying it.  I vibrater will totally change your orgasms.  I also think that men who won't try toys are insecure for one, and REALLY missing out!