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Topic : Differing Sex Drives

Number of Replies: 1827
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:17:33 pm
Author : dataimport
"He wants it twice a day!" "She would be happy to go a whole month without touching me." Does this sound familiar?

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July 29, 2005, 6:55 am CDT

What's wrong with me?

I need help!  I am 22 years old and I have no sex drive.  I am currently in a serious relationship with a great guy, but my problem is causing major problems for our relationship and I don't know how much longer we will last because of this.  I am not cheating and never have and I find my man attractive, but to be honest I'm really starting to hate sex because it is causing so much tension bwtween he and I.  I don't want to feel this way and I want to please my man.  I read something in an earlier post about testosterone testing?  What is this?  Are there any medications that women can take to increase their sex drive?  Help!  Please!
 
July 31, 2005, 5:02 am CDT

Help!

I'm 25 years old and married a wonderful woman that I met in college. She's smart, beautiful, talented. The only problem in our marriage is that since she's been on birth control, she has NO interest in any kind of physical contact with me. Having her around even is simply killing me, she's too gorgeous to even look at. It's getting so frustrating that I have to stay away from her to even keep my head on straight. She's metioned her lack of drive to me, but acts like it's just the way things are going to be. I've never cheated on her, and love her more than I love myself. I just can't live this way. I work so hard to bring home a good income, and we're working now towards her achieving her goal of becoming a stay home mom once we have kids. I've had some weight issues in the past, which she never has, so she doesn't quite understand why her never wanting to touch me is making me feel horrible about myself. I just don't know what to do.
 
July 31, 2005, 7:49 am CDT

Look at all your options

Quote From: davidoff54

I'm 25 years old and married a wonderful woman that I met in college. She's smart, beautiful, talented. The only problem in our marriage is that since she's been on birth control, she has NO interest in any kind of physical contact with me. Having her around even is simply killing me, she's too gorgeous to even look at. It's getting so frustrating that I have to stay away from her to even keep my head on straight. She's metioned her lack of drive to me, but acts like it's just the way things are going to be. I've never cheated on her, and love her more than I love myself. I just can't live this way. I work so hard to bring home a good income, and we're working now towards her achieving her goal of becoming a stay home mom once we have kids. I've had some weight issues in the past, which she never has, so she doesn't quite understand why her never wanting to touch me is making me feel horrible about myself. I just don't know what to do.

I'm glad to see that you want to work with your wife on this and make your relationship work.  Have you considered using another type of birth control or if she insists on using the pill, having the prescription changed?  It is true that being on the pill can reduce a woman's sex drive considerably, so don't take her lack of wanting sex as something about you.  It sounds like she knows of her sex drive has diminished and will be willing to work with you to fix it.

 

You may want to do some research on your own about different types of methods of birth control there are, so when you talk to her you can have some really solid answers to the issue.  Good luck and keep us posted.

 
August 1, 2005, 7:30 pm CDT

figureitout

You write that you are convinced your husband is gay. Is there more proof of this beyond just his unwillingness to have sex with you? Do share.
 
August 2, 2005, 4:07 pm CDT

Sex Before marriage?

I was wondering why Dr. Phil says it's wrong to have sex before being married?

 

If anyone can help me out that would be great!

 
August 5, 2005, 4:45 am CDT

Sex enhancers.....

Quote From: bella1

I need help!  I am 22 years old and I have no sex drive.  I am currently in a serious relationship with a great guy, but my problem is causing major problems for our relationship and I don't know how much longer we will last because of this.  I am not cheating and never have and I find my man attractive, but to be honest I'm really starting to hate sex because it is causing so much tension bwtween he and I.  I don't want to feel this way and I want to please my man.  I read something in an earlier post about testosterone testing?  What is this?  Are there any medications that women can take to increase their sex drive?  Help!  Please!
The herb yohimbine (yohimbe for men) has been found to increase a womans sex drive- not overnight, but with a regular course of intake has results of women being more aroused, more lubricated and more interested in sex.....this herb can be found at many health food shops. Please check with your medical DR before starting any course of medication. Good luck! Queenie
 
August 5, 2005, 4:55 am CDT

Penis RIngs.....

Quote From: emm999

I enjoy sex but unfortunately my husband is impotent most of the time and when he is not, he suffers from premature ejaculation.  What do I do?  We have been married for 11 years and I am at the point of calling it quits.  I have expressed my concerns but they fall on deaf ears.  He has some viagra but won't use it.  I'm sure he is concerned about the possible negative side effects of this drug.  Is it fair of me to push him to use it?  I would appreciate any advice?
A Penis ring, or pleasure ring will extend his erection by compressing the veins carrying blood to his penis. Because the blood is held in the penis by the ring, the erection stays until the blood is released through removal of the ring. I agree, viagra and cialis have many many side effects, and an outside appliance to preserve and erection is preferable! Be sure to remove it after 4 hours, because tissue damage can occur. THere are many types out there- if you'd like info on purchasing them discreetly, please let me know at    opsarge@earthlink.net    Queenie
 
August 5, 2005, 5:10 am CDT

Anal sex

Quote From: terry11977

My relationship with my husband is going on 6 years and within the last 4 yrs he has been pushing for Anal Sex. Each time I had tried it; it has hurt not only physically but emotionally. I have asked him to stop. It's to the point when ever we try to make love he brings it up asking if we can try. I feel totally turned off from sex and he feels that I do not understand his needs. Our marriage is going down hill fast because of this one issue. He has tried to threaten me into giving him anal by saying he will find some prostitutes or with holding money to buy groceries. His obsession with it has grown so much that he surfs the web for anal porn. In his past relationships he had never had anal; so I don’t understand why he just can’t give the thought of it up. I has also have a medical condition that with my rectum that he doesn’t take for serious and thinks it’s all in my head. What can I do?

 

When a man is adamant about pursuing something that his beloved partner is against, it can feel as though a potential rape is about to occur. There is definitely something else going on- not just a request for a different position or a new game. 

  

One the flip side, if you are just apprehensive about trying anal sex, or have a stigma attatched to the act, there are some products you can try to go farther with an understanding partner- knowing that porn stars use a lot of products of this nature because that particular area needs a lot of lubrication. The big thing is, if he is willing to take the time to go slowly, and if you are willing to try. Otherwise, its not going to work for you.  The products are Anal Eze and also Anal Lube. Using a lubricated condom can also make it a little easier for you.  If you need more info and don't want to hit the boards, you can email me at  opsarge@earthlink.net     Queenie  

 
August 6, 2005, 8:10 pm CDT

We don’t have the same sex drive.

Hi I’m new here and this is my first post 

The thing I want to ask about is a problem with my fiancé

We don’t have the same sex drive. 

He has admitted that he would be happy only making love once a week. 

Unfortunately I don’t feel that way, I would like the almost every day 

I don’t think he would mind if we only made love once a month. 

I’m only 21 and I was a virgin before I met him. 

He is 28 but isn’t that still to young for a mans libido to slow down? 

When I ask for sex and he says he’s to tired, I don’t push it, but I can’t help but feel like there is something wrong with me. 

And yes I have talked to him about how it makes me feel.  

I have tried offering myself in the day time but he just puts me off. 

On the weekends he likes to sleep most of the time so I don’t know what to do. 

 
August 7, 2005, 11:20 am CDT

Sounds like he's avoiding the issue

Quote From: serenity21

Hi I’m new here and this is my first post 

The thing I want to ask about is a problem with my fiancé

We don’t have the same sex drive. 

He has admitted that he would be happy only making love once a week. 

Unfortunately I don’t feel that way, I would like the almost every day 

I don’t think he would mind if we only made love once a month. 

I’m only 21 and I was a virgin before I met him. 

He is 28 but isn’t that still to young for a mans libido to slow down? 

When I ask for sex and he says he’s to tired, I don’t push it, but I can’t help but feel like there is something wrong with me. 

And yes I have talked to him about how it makes me feel.  

I have tried offering myself in the day time but he just puts me off. 

On the weekends he likes to sleep most of the time so I don’t know what to do. 

I wouldn't say there is something wrong with you but something wrong with him that he is hiding from you.  I'm not saying it's another woman but there is something he isn't willing to discuss with you.  He puts you off and he sleeps a lot - he could be depressed or just avoiding the issue.  

 

I would certainly make sure this issue is dealt with before you get married.  If you are this unhappy now, marriage isn't going to be a magic wand to change it.   You may wish to see if he would agree to some pre-marital counseling and bring this issue up. 

 

It would be better to find out now and either be able to resolve it and move forward together or find out that it isn't going to change and both be able to move your separate ways and find what you are both looking for. 

 
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