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March 5, 2008, 7:18 am PST
how do people survive differeing sex drives
How do people survive differing sex drives and are the ones who stay married asking for the grief they get?At 48,and with 22 years of marriage,I have a healthy desire for sex and intimacy,massages,cuddling,stroking,but my husband wants little sex in the last 10 years,and believes massages,gifts,compliments,are not necessary.He thinks you should just know you are loved.He thinks companionship is more important than sex,but he has no outsoide interests,and has always gone hours without talking,so I feel there is no companionship.He has never had a sexual imagination,and does not just go down on a woman to pleasure them without getting something in return.I do not know if he is just a selfish lover,or repressed sexually.Even when our marriage was younger,he acted like he did not know what to do in the bedroom,and he did not try to learn that much.I came up with new things back then so it was ok.But now I grow weary of trying to keep things in the bedroom fresh on my own.I get resentful.He calls me a nympho,sex machine.I have compromised and gone down to sex 2-3 times a week,hit body massages for him hard to show him I know he works hard and is sore.I go down on him alot more and make him do less sexual positions that hurt his aging body.I buy dirty magazines and pornos so he can do less forplay.I am going out of my way to accommodate his low sex drive and aging/achy body,but I find myself angry at times that his needs are more important than mine,and I have to do this to keep him.He already went to a hooker before to supposedly have sex with someone who did not ask so much of him in the bedroom.Now I am grasping at straws on how to have sex less,not require him to hardly do anything during sex,and not cry everyday because I feel sexually cheated.At my age,48,it is depressing to think of leaving and trying to find a considerate,loving sexual partner who will apptrciate the fact I still have a sex drive at my age.
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