Topic : Differing Sex Drives

yes, i have been celibate for two years now and over, know how you feel all the time, get out and find someone taht will treat you right, i know how you feel then its always that one thing in your head is every man going to make you feel this way? no, probably not. but could also and thats a fear in itself i know this also. i  have two friends and both are male and both are younger than husband and both well lets just say that they would try anything at all, if i would, but naturally i cant. it does make me feel alive feeling so yes, there are men out there that will pay attention to us and not make us feel this way. which tells you that its all his fault and that its not you at all, theres nothing wrong with you. have you tried viagra yet for him. i ahve heard them all also, now he says to his friends that she will get nothing from me. how is that supposed to amke me feel. like i should be alone the rest of my life and do with oyt cause he doesnt put forth any effort. i guess so. it is this kind of a man that makes a woman have a affair. to be felt needed.and its their fault that we do.

I am almost 39 years old.  I have done more things in my life than many will ever have the chance to do.  To this day, I have not found anything more enjoyable in life than sex.  It's the best feeling in the world!  Not just receiving pleasure, but giving a woman pleasure is my biggest turn on.  I just can't understand anyone not wanting to have sex.  Especially if they are living with someone.  Why chose to live with someone if you have no desire to make love on a regular basis? 

I have been with my wife for 15 years.  The first 10 years together, we had sex whenever and wherever we could.  That last five years, not as much.  Last year (2007) we had sex twice.  (I know!).  It wasn't me, trust me.  It caused a separation.  She returned two months later.  Since then, we have sex 1 - 2 times a week.  Still not enough for me, but I'm okay with it.  At least it's better than our record in 2007!

But seriously, sex is such a wonderful and beautiful thing.  I really can't understand anyone not wanting to make love to someone they are in love with.  Men are different than women; I understand that.  There are times when my wife is not in the mood.  I don't like it, but I deal with it.  On the other hand, I have NEVER refused her when she initiates sex.  NEVER!  Why would I?  I love her, I love making love to her, I love pleasing her.  Why would I say No?  To the women on here saying their men have no sex drive,  I am so sorry.  As a man, I don't get it.  I can't see any man saying no to sex.  Something is wrong there.

Someone made a comment about watching porn and how watching too much can affect a man.  I disagree!  I have been watching porn since I was a teenager.  It doesn't affect how I perform in bed with my wife.  I don't have to watch it with her, though sometimes we do.  And we have learned some really good positions and techniques watching porn, so don't knock it.

Sex is wonderful, it's natural, and it's the only thing all humans have in common.  After all, if not for sex, none of us would be here.  So why do people still talk about it in whispers?  Why are there parents who will let their kids watch a movie with Bruce Willis killing 30 people, but change the channel when a woman's getting naked?  Why do so many view masturbation as a bad or ugly thing?  Any medical professional will tell you it's normal, natural, and healthy. 

There are so many people out there who need to learn to lighten up just a little.  And for those of you in a relationship, stop turning your partner down.  If they want to have sex, have sex with them.  What's the worse that could happen?  You enjoying yourself, and them, until you both reach orgasm?  Yeah, that would suck! 

Communications is the cornerstone of any relationship. I think both of you need to sit your partners down, at a time when sex is not an option, and discuss what is bothering you, and what you are wanting as far as sex is concerned.

We men aren't mind readers, and we truly would love it if a woman would tell us exactly what is a turn on and what is not. At the same time you need to find out what is going on in their minds, and what they are expecting as well. I think more relationships would have less problems if both partners would set down, at a comfortable time and place and discuss what's going on in their mind, and find out the same from their partner's mind as well.

I can't give either of you a solution to what will work, because no two people are the same, and what turns one person on, will turn off another. What the two of you need to do is try to communicate, and find out what is going on with your partner, and why they are not getting what you are needing out of your relationship.

I hope this at least gives you both some food for thought. Good luck, and please keep us informed on what is going on, as what happens in your relationship, may very well help someone having the same problems.