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Topic : Homosexuality

Number of Replies: 449
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:18:07 pm
Author : dataimport
Have you come out of the closet to find love and support? Or are those close to you having a difficult time accepting your lifestyle?

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October 30, 2005, 7:14 pm CST

...

Quote From: love2help

 I think hurtinggirl needs to be a little more respectful...saying EWWWW I'm not gay is quite immature.
Guess it shows her age.  We don't have to agree if being gay is a choice or we are born with it.  But at least be nice!
I'm 27 and dealing with the issue if I'm gay or not.  It's very hard.  Tried to be with guys but wasn't happy.  I'm in a relationship with a wonderful guy now, but it doesn't feel right.  I'm not sure what'll happen.  Makes me very depressed and I wish with all my being I could just be straight and marry a man.  So is this my choice as some of you say it is?  No I choose to be straight!  But I'm not happy in straight relationships.  So do I stay in a straight relationship and just "learn" to be happy the rest of my life?  What do those people that think gay is a choice suggest I do????
that shows my age??..riiiight..i thought my reaction was just perfect & i gave it with all the respect there is..its just that someone accused me of really being gay cuz im straight & that was a total shock~& gay is a choice....stay with guys..i dunno what else there is more to say?¿?¿
 
October 31, 2005, 11:51 am CST

^-^

Quote From: aqua431

Morning, I just needed a place to vent, so I hope this is appropriate.  Last evening my youngest daughter who is 26 told me she is Gay.  In many ways this was not a big surprise, an that surprises me, she has never discussed the subject with me before, an has been married for almost 4 yrs. actually the Man she is married to has been her best friend since they were both quite young.  From what she says he knows.  What his feelings are that is something I am not sure of.  I have however known they have been having problems on an off for awhile now, an she has just moved in with me about 3 wks. ago saying they are going to get divorced.  One good thing in this situation is there are no children.  Well, I suppose by writting this I have now admitted it.  It will take some getting use to but she is my daughter an as long as she is happy she has my support.  Boy is this going to shock many people in her life, but I realize she needs to deal with that an all I can do is be there for her.  The only problem is she needs to realize I have my own personal issues, regarding life changes going on, I have started Therapy for Panic Disorder, Depression an also Dissociated Idenity Disorder, so my own health needs to be dealt with as well.  Guess she an I have a long road ahead, hopfully someone who reads this might have some words of encourgement.  Takes for taking the time to read this.  Enjoy an have a good day.
  I would first like to say that it feels good to find a parent like you on this board.
 I know its not easy, but I think your doing the best thing possible for your daughter right now. I understand that accepting a family member as gay is hard, but you have accepted it, and thats a great start. I'm very gladto see that your helping your daughter with her problems even with your own instead of pushing her away.
 The two of you seem very close. Thats a beautiful and rare thing these days. I'm sure the two of you will pull through your current problems together.
 I wish only the best for two of you.
 
November 1, 2005, 8:37 am CST

Thank you

Quote From: toshinshi

  I would first like to say that it feels good to find a parent like you on this board.
 I know its not easy, but I think your doing the best thing possible for your daughter right now. I understand that accepting a family member as gay is hard, but you have accepted it, and thats a great start. I'm very gladto see that your helping your daughter with her problems even with your own instead of pushing her away.
 The two of you seem very close. Thats a beautiful and rare thing these days. I'm sure the two of you will pull through your current problems together.
 I wish only the best for two of you.

Hi, I just wanted to take a moment to Thank you for your kind words.  I don't think my behavior, or reaction to this new knowledge regarding my daughter is so profound.  She is my daughter, an even though I am not guy what would give me the right to be the judge an jury.  Growing up I was always expected to be " PERFECT " what ever that is, so raising them I have always just tried my best to except their life styles , just as long as I know it is not causing them any personl physical harm.  However, it will be interesting when other people in the family find out.  She knows that when those moments come, I WILL BE THERE, an Not allow ANYONE, to cause her any pain with hurtful words or actions.  She is a pretty confident an strong Woman so I doubt if my support will be needed, but if it is, like I've said she knows I will be there.Just one other thing, what ever your problems might be or troubles in your life are I wish you the best also.  None of us are perfect, why would we be on this board if we were.......If you would care to email me, my add. is Sheri683@msn.com Bye for now an enjoy the day. 

 
November 1, 2005, 10:39 am CST

Dealing with the issues for 23 years

 I have been reading through these posts.  I am amazed at some deep thinking and more amazed at others lack of tolerance.

First for those of you who think gay  men and women chose to be gay.....have you ever taken a moment to think about this in your own terms?  Did you chose to be straight?  I am sure not. 

Second as a 43 year old successful artist and teacher,with two degrees  to my name.  My life has been full of ups and downs as anyones own life presumably has.  Recently, I spent time in the hospital for a serious illness associated with HIV that nearly caused me to die. During this time, my partner of six years got scared and started acting out, consuming drugs and being non- faithful.  When I got out of the hospital after six weeks, I had to look at my life and figure out where i was going in my life.  Being 43, darn near dead at one point will do this to one, no matter who you are.  I decided to end the relationship.  There is so much to the story to tell, but gay or straight, we all have to make our decisions based on our gut instincts and not what society tells us to do.  I feel strongly that those born with a good soul, will do the right thing.  Having grown up in a dysfunctional family, I wasted too many years of my life in bad and unhealthy relationships and would rather not be in one at all if they are this way.

I want to be in a healthy relationship, but I always seem to be the one to put the 110% in  and the other partner uses me.  I want this cycle to stop.  I know I am a perfectionist, educated, and very extroverted.  When told by my partner not to do something, I usually rebel and do it anyway.  The secret I have found to healthy relationships, its not to have a parent child relationship and to believe in the 3- C's.  Communication, compromise and commitment.  These are hard to follow, specially when you have spent 43 years in dysfunctional relationships.

It 's hard for anyone to have a gay member of the family and its even harder when society and religious persons say its wrong.  Being treated as second class citizens, with out rights to marriage, adoption, benefits, hospital visits and so much more, will make you feel less than you are.  Sometimes I think, If I as a gay man, contribute equally to society, pay taxes, support schools, government and the like, I should expect the same rights as everyone else.  Perhaps, as second class citizens, we should not pay taxes to support the "inherent rights" of the rest of society.

Just a few of my thoughts as I continue to mend emotionally and physically.
 
November 5, 2005, 4:59 pm CST

Get Over It

Hello everybody. My name is Crystal and I am 25. I haven't been on lately but I was reading over some of the messages and I can't believe some of the responses. Why should it matter to other people if someone is "gay", or "straight"? It is the preference of the individual and people don't "chose" to be gay. I believe that you are born gay. Like anyone would "chose" to be harassed because they aren't "normal". I really don't understand all these labels that people put on each other.
I was with a man for 4 years and as hard as I tried to be "normal", it made me withdrawn and depressed. It didn't feel right. Not only physically, but mentally. I have a wonderful son because of it but I regret even meeting the man. I am now in a relationship with a woman and we have our problems but we have been together for almost 5 years. Please everyone, can we stop criticizing other people for their sexual preference?? Being "gay" isn't gross or wrong. Get over it.
 
November 7, 2005, 11:24 am CST

Defensive...

Just a few thoughts really, 

Ive actually changed my mind a little bit. Ive decided that im going to stop defending myself to people such as 'hurting girl' because ultimately thats what it appears im am doing, and i do mean 'appears'. I was born with feelings for women in a sexual way. this is undeniable. i cant prove to you that this is true, but im sure if you search your feelings for men, it wasnt something socially conditioned into you, it was something you  have naturally felt throughout your life, and as someone else said on this board, what makes you think gay people chose to feel that way towards people of the same sex, when it wasnt a choice for you? Secondly, i suppose i did make a choice. I chose in my late twenties to act upon the feelings i had for women (as most do for whoever they have feelings for). I could have (as some unfortunately feel they need to) chosen not to sleep with women, not to have a relationship with a woman, just as straight people could chose celibacy (spelling!). Despite whether i sleep with a woman though or not, these feelings would still be there and i would think about it daily because IT IS A PART OF WHO I AM, BODY AND SOUL. why shouldnt i feel this way about people of the same sex, i mean really after all it just comes down to that....sex!....why do we put so much emphasis on sex in the first place and why is it anyone else's business what people do in bed? It starts at 13 for teenagers, male female gay straight......you will meet someone, you will sleep with them, pregnancy....std's, rape...etc. Its all sex sex bloody sex. who cares at the end of the day who does what to whom and where if it doesnt effect/hurt anybody else?.....i just have one question to hurting girl....if what im doing is 'evil' and its not gods way....wat the hell do you care? its not like im asking you to join in...
I would (personally) much rather you just stayed away from my life then if you have that much of a problem with it, and go live your own life, have your own sex without wondering so much what it is im doing in my bedroom> get a life! 

As for marriage, who cares if i marry another woman. Does it effect you? If if god is so against it as you think he will judge me on my day.....why on gods green earth does it effect anything you do? Would you be affected if you saw me walking down the street holding my girlfriends hand? No. Would it hurt you? No.  

I would simply say, go out, live your own life, make your own decisions about who you are and then, having met a variety of people, gay straight black white diabled whatever....come back to me then and have a decent grown up conversation because right now, to me, you are some kid sitting in their bible study class being taught things which you are sponging up without a serious individual thought provoked idea in your head. 

  

Gem 

 
November 7, 2005, 12:17 pm CST

i meant...

"I chose in my late twenties to act upon the feelings i had for women" 

  

sorry i meant in my late teens. 

 
November 7, 2005, 9:19 pm CST

HELP-PLEASE?

I was going out with this guy for 6 months to movies-lunch and dinner-going to his house etc...after him also making differnt remarks to me or about me to other people-like how attractive I am-saying-we're all alone-asking me to go to some shows with him-up my butt wanting to know how old I was coz he knew I was close to his age-telling how good I look etc...all of a sudden comes out with he doesn't have any MALE friends and they are all FEMALES-that he has been different all of his life and he didn't know how to tell me-would he be gay??? Yet he would look at other women. He actually said that he was not attracted to me but then 2 weeks later said it was coz I said something about another female we both know and also said he didn't mean that and just kept telling me to find someone else and be happy. What he doesn't understand is that I would still be his friend no matter what but he refuses to stay friends. My other friend has said if he did have an attration to me and is gay-he would NOT want to be around me but I really do not know what to think and I'm very hurt over it all and I would never just ask him directoly if he is gay-afraid of hurting his feelings. So right now-any input that anyone would have would be great!!!! Thanks-tazbar10dr
 
November 9, 2005, 12:38 pm CST

hiya

Quote From: cuteboi21

Well I dont know where to begin really. This is my first message.  I am 21 and 2 weeks after my 19th bday my dad had enough with my so called chosen lifestyle. So, the christian counseling didnt work out the way he wanted, so he took my house key and my new car at the time away from me thinking  that would chage my feelings and make me straight.  OMG Well little did he know that I had another thing coming. I am doing better . I still have my moments. Holidays are pretty tough. My first Christmas ...not getting nothing at all...just a card basically telling me im going to hell doesnt sound to loving if you aske me....and not a thing for my bday was even harder. I just never thought that something like this would ever happen to me.  Dad and I have not talked in 2 years.  Mom isnt thrilled but she tells me that it would have been different if she had some say so in what to do with my sexuality. My brother that is 25 is not having anything to do with me either. A month after coming out, my brother says he is called by god to preach!!  How ironic is that. So fake lol. The family just laughs about it still to this day.  I would love to here from anyone out there ...their story or if they have anything to ask me or commits about my little life story.      One thing i have learned....sometimes in order to gain something. you have to lose something

 well, this is also my first time to post the message.. im 22, im bi-sexual right now im date beautiful girl of three year... this month or last month i told my bro he his 20.. he dnt want to deal with it cuz its just my business who i fall in love wiht but another than this we talk about anything expect my life which its hard to do everyone expect me to be who they want to be.... so i am first time date a girl, so i was think same thing what u said about nothing, wht im say is my bro think my life will be hard but i dt think so cuz its not their business to tell what to do or whatever...  i feel so good to be true to myself... so yea u're right u have to gain something but ready to lose something... heh im look for anyonoe to talk about it u know.... i have not told my mother yet which iknow she is disappoint with me on anyting i chose... cuz i know my life is hard than they know or think... so  hope anyone reply me back to talk about it, i dnt have anyone else to talk about it so.... expect my gf.... 

  

  

 
November 18, 2005, 8:29 pm CST

omg w/e

Quote From: love2help

 I think hurtinggirl needs to be a little more respectful...saying EWWWW I'm not gay is quite immature.
Guess it shows her age.  We don't have to agree if being gay is a choice or we are born with it.  But at least be nice!
I'm 27 and dealing with the issue if I'm gay or not.  It's very hard.  Tried to be with guys but wasn't happy.  I'm in a relationship with a wonderful guy now, but it doesn't feel right.  I'm not sure what'll happen.  Makes me very depressed and I wish with all my being I could just be straight and marry a man.  So is this my choice as some of you say it is?  No I choose to be straight!  But I'm not happy in straight relationships.  So do I stay in a straight relationship and just "learn" to be happy the rest of my life?  What do those people that think gay is a choice suggest I do????
ok...i thought that i had all the respect there was when i said "ewwwwwww"..becuase she accused me of being gay & i was in complete shock at the moment & maybe wasnt thinking, but let me ask you one thing??...why are you so hurted by me saying that??...cuz ur gay you should be proud of it cuz if someone walks up to me & says "ewwwwww ur straight" i'd b like "ya & im proud of it..so what"~yes it is ur choice all the way...its my choice to be straight & its your choice to be gay..no 1 made this decision but u...God did not lay a curse on u saying "ur going to be gay..blah blah blah & u diserve it"..no...our God is not like that..he is a loving God & he intended for man & women to make kids so therefore he had nothin to do with it cuz hes against it..it even says it in the bible..thats how i know & u were not born gay..there's no such thing~& about the guy thing..i dunno if you should be with him or be with a girl..i dunno..its not my choice...just do w/e u feel in ur heart & soul~i hope i helped..c'ya
 
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