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Topic : Homosexuality

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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:18:07 pm
Author : dataimport
Have you come out of the closet to find love and support? Or are those close to you having a difficult time accepting your lifestyle?

 
froggie101
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June 13, 2006, 7:54 am PDT

Homosexuality

Quote From: south1

Yes, he is on hook up websites.  So you mean sweep this under the rug and act like nothing is going on while I have to look at his wife in the face with total innocense?  Take the chance of giving an innocent person (his wife) aids or some or crap?  Are you gay as well?  This definitly wasn't the kind of advice I was looking for.  The way I see it is I'm involved now and not through not being nosey.  How do I know that he didn't want me to see it and hitting on me?  Either way, I'm not about to stand by and act like nothing has happened.  I'm looking for advice on how to intervene and get him some help.  I listed himself as bi-sexual on the website, so he is obviously confused.  Reguardless, his wife doesn't know and that's not right.  Infidelity is a cheap way of life and people that are living it need help.  Thanks for the shallow resolution.
Ok I have a problem with you sayinf he is confused becasue he said he was bi-sexual.....I mean he obviosly has kids right? And he was in a marriage with a woman? they had sex and I am sure it was not torture I have never seen a guy get it up when he doesn't like the situation. Treat this as you would him sleeping with other woman( and to get rid of your 1980's veiw woman carry STD's and Aids as well) I say his wife has the right to know but not just becasue he is sleeping with men as well but becasue of the infedillty. Try and give him the opportunity to do it first his wife deserves that. I have a bisexual husband he beleives you don't fall in love with a sexual act but a person. He is attracted to men and woman and always has,  although this is confusing to me it is his right and his feelings. Bisexuality is possible and I spent 3 years making sure he wasn't just confused or scared he very adjusted adn we choose each other to spend our lives together. Try to focus on his infedilty and not his sexuality.
 
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poolboy
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June 25, 2006, 6:15 am PDT

Is It Appropriate When...

Got A Question. My partner and I raised two children. 11 years old and 9 years old. They are my partner's biological children. Kids are kids and will continue to enjoy childhood like everyone else except for to have homosexual parents. MY QUESTION IS: 

  

When our children want a sleep over, should we as parents discuss with the child's parent who will be staying the night that we are homosexual?  

  

Should we let the kids tell the other kids and allow the information to flow that way as we have been? 

  

We had a situation last night where the parent picked up the girl and my partner said I gave too much away that we were homosexual. Should I have to hide that because our kids are so open about that whole thing or just be true to myself. Allow that parent to now pass a judgement whether her child will be allowed back into our home knowing what she knows now. 

  

WOULD YOU BE UNFRONT FIRST OR ALLOW THEM TO FIGURE IT OUT ON THEIR OWN? 

  

Thanks  

  

Michael & Trever  

ONT Canada 
 
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elffie
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June 25, 2006, 12:11 pm PDT

Homosexuality

Quote From: poolboy

Got A Question. My partner and I raised two children. 11 years old and 9 years old. They are my partner's biological children. Kids are kids and will continue to enjoy childhood like everyone else except for to have homosexual parents. MY QUESTION IS: 

  

When our children want a sleep over, should we as parents discuss with the child's parent who will be staying the night that we are homosexual?  

  

Should we let the kids tell the other kids and allow the information to flow that way as we have been? 

  

We had a situation last night where the parent picked up the girl and my partner said I gave too much away that we were homosexual. Should I have to hide that because our kids are so open about that whole thing or just be true to myself. Allow that parent to now pass a judgement whether her child will be allowed back into our home knowing what she knows now. 

  

WOULD YOU BE UNFRONT FIRST OR ALLOW THEM TO FIGURE IT OUT ON THEIR OWN? 

  

Thanks  

  

Michael & Trever  

ONT Canada 

I am a mother of two young children so they haven't stayed the night at anyone's place yet.  But, what I can say is that it would NOT matter to me if the parents were gay, just as long as I felt my child would be safe and taken care of when I am not there to do it.  I think you should just be the way you usually are.  I am not hanging all over my husband all the time so I wouldn't be like that to show someone that I'm straight.  My point is, if the parents have a problem with you being gay and their child staying the night because of that reason then that is their problem.  Kids will be friends with other kids they like, it isn't until the parents step in and tell them who to be friends with and this is where I think some parents make a mistake.  As long as your kids aren't drug addicts or vandalist, I don't see what the problem is.   

  

Also, I would rather know than having someone try to hide something.  It would make me wonder what else they aren't  truthfull about.  If I were you, I would just be myself, and if the discussion ever comes up, be honest.  Don't be in their face about it, it might make them uncomfortable, and you know what?  Most people know when someone is gay.  I'm not trying to be mean, I don't think being gay is a bad thing, it's just that sometimes it is obvious.  I say, you have found someone to love and who loves you, what can be better than that? 

  

Hope everything works out. 

Elffie 
 
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only1inall
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June 27, 2006, 9:09 pm PDT

Hi

toshinshi, you are an FtM, correct? I'm an MtF. Ha ha.

I've been trying to send a message to that ask Dr Phil thing, but it doesn't go thorugh, it just says DELIVERY FAILURE in my email about it. I guess I'll post the message I sent here. If anyone can help, it'd be appriciated, but my parents really are quite impossible to get through... -_-

Dr. Phil,

First off, I would like to state I am a 17 year old Asian American (Korean mostly) who has just graduated from high school and just got a job. The thing of the matter is, I'm transgendered and it has been a long time struggle for me. I came out to my parents at the end of January and things have not gone well since. Although, things have not been well for a long time, coming out to my parents just made it worse.

I've been miserable for as long as I can remember. I think I was more blissful before middle school. I can't say I've ever truly felt happy, and trying to talk to my parents is almost impossible. We always end up getting angry at each other, they refuse to talk to other people about anything (ie. My English teacher who has a transgendered child herself) and my mother turned down the suggestion we write letters to each other with a "what? you can't talk or something?" in Korean.

Yesterday, my parents finally seem to be somewhat willing for me to see a therapist after half a year of trying to ignore the problem, and they told me to ask you to recommend one. They said we can't afford to be on your show, implying it's too expensive. I don't know whether or not this is true, but I am desperate for advice. I feel so neglected and worthless most of the time, and my parents make me feel like that's how I will be if I wish to do what my mind tells me and I'll be nothing more than some man freak. Talking to my parents just seems IMPOSSIBLE, even when I try to be as reasonable as I can.

There's just too much to say, but I think this is the basics. I would be happy if you could suggest a therapist, although I highly doubt they'll take me to see one. Even though it might be true, I just can't tell myself that they do care about me, at least as much as they should, and I don't want to be miserable for years to come. Do you have any recommendations or advice or anything that could perhaps help? Thank you.
 
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willow3
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July 2, 2006, 1:52 pm PDT

Homosexuality

Quote From: elffie

I am a mother of two young children so they haven't stayed the night at anyone's place yet.  But, what I can say is that it would NOT matter to me if the parents were gay, just as long as I felt my child would be safe and taken care of when I am not there to do it.  I think you should just be the way you usually are.  I am not hanging all over my husband all the time so I wouldn't be like that to show someone that I'm straight.  My point is, if the parents have a problem with you being gay and their child staying the night because of that reason then that is their problem.  Kids will be friends with other kids they like, it isn't until the parents step in and tell them who to be friends with and this is where I think some parents make a mistake.  As long as your kids aren't drug addicts or vandalist, I don't see what the problem is.   

  

Also, I would rather know than having someone try to hide something.  It would make me wonder what else they aren't  truthfull about.  If I were you, I would just be myself, and if the discussion ever comes up, be honest.  Don't be in their face about it, it might make them uncomfortable, and you know what?  Most people know when someone is gay.  I'm not trying to be mean, I don't think being gay is a bad thing, it's just that sometimes it is obvious.  I say, you have found someone to love and who loves you, what can be better than that? 

  

Hope everything works out. 

Elffie 

I agree with Elffie. It shouldn't matter whether you are gay or not, but if the question does come up, I would just be myself and be open and honest about it.
 
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drphiluser
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July 6, 2006, 1:52 pm PDT

My homosexuality...and my struggle

I am a male in my 20s and I think I am gay. I havent been wanting to recognize my same sex attractions 

I hear that it is a sin etc and I will go to hell and it's a choice 

When I was abour 7 or  8, a cousin who was a few years older asked me to play a gamed called relationship. And it was a sexual game. I dont know if this effected me or not 

He is not gay however 

  

I have been very very depressed b/c of my sexuality. My parents noticed I am depressed but they do not have any idea why I am  

  

  

Can you help me please and what should I tell my parents.. I knwo religion would come into play 
 
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jenoc99
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July 7, 2006, 5:06 pm PDT

Gay parents

Quote From: poolboy

Got A Question. My partner and I raised two children. 11 years old and 9 years old. They are my partner's biological children. Kids are kids and will continue to enjoy childhood like everyone else except for to have homosexual parents. MY QUESTION IS: 

  

When our children want a sleep over, should we as parents discuss with the child's parent who will be staying the night that we are homosexual?  

  

Should we let the kids tell the other kids and allow the information to flow that way as we have been? 

  

We had a situation last night where the parent picked up the girl and my partner said I gave too much away that we were homosexual. Should I have to hide that because our kids are so open about that whole thing or just be true to myself. Allow that parent to now pass a judgement whether her child will be allowed back into our home knowing what she knows now. 

  

WOULD YOU BE UNFRONT FIRST OR ALLOW THEM TO FIGURE IT OUT ON THEIR OWN? 

  

Thanks  

  

Michael & Trever  

ONT Canada 

You are partners, raising two children together- my advice to you is to let the information come from the kids to their parents. You don't have to explain your orientation to anyone.
I live in Massachusetts where same sex marriage is legal. My children have friends that have two moms or two dads, and they don't think twice about it, it is everyday, normal life for us all here. I think that just living life the way that you are, being good parents, just doing your day to day activities that you have to do, your personal life will become more accepted. Well, by many people, not all people of course.. some people aren't interested in changing their minds. I wish you well.
 
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jenoc99
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July 7, 2006, 5:09 pm PDT

Thinking you are gay

Quote From: drphiluser

I am a male in my 20s and I think I am gay. I havent been wanting to recognize my same sex attractions 

I hear that it is a sin etc and I will go to hell and it's a choice 

When I was abour 7 or  8, a cousin who was a few years older asked me to play a gamed called relationship. And it was a sexual game. I dont know if this effected me or not 

He is not gay however 

  

I have been very very depressed b/c of my sexuality. My parents noticed I am depressed but they do not have any idea why I am  

  

  

Can you help me please and what should I tell my parents.. I knwo religion would come into play 

When your relative asked you to play that sexual game, he took advantage of you in the worst way. Just because this relative isn't living a gay lifestyle, that doesn't mean he isn't gay. He could be a closet homosexual, with a wife/kids for public view.
Your depression could very well be related to the fact that you are struggling with your sexuality. My advice to you is to seek professional therapy for yourself as soon as possible. You need to have your thoughts and feelings validated, and the best place for that is therapy, with an unbiased trained professional.
No matter what you do in life, take care of YOU first. Your happiness is important, your health is important- you are worthy of a fullfilling life.
 
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poolboy
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July 8, 2006, 6:24 pm PDT

Thanks

Quote From: elffie

I am a mother of two young children so they haven't stayed the night at anyone's place yet.  But, what I can say is that it would NOT matter to me if the parents were gay, just as long as I felt my child would be safe and taken care of when I am not there to do it.  I think you should just be the way you usually are.  I am not hanging all over my husband all the time so I wouldn't be like that to show someone that I'm straight.  My point is, if the parents have a problem with you being gay and their child staying the night because of that reason then that is their problem.  Kids will be friends with other kids they like, it isn't until the parents step in and tell them who to be friends with and this is where I think some parents make a mistake.  As long as your kids aren't drug addicts or vandalist, I don't see what the problem is.   

  

Also, I would rather know than having someone try to hide something.  It would make me wonder what else they aren't  truthfull about.  If I were you, I would just be myself, and if the discussion ever comes up, be honest.  Don't be in their face about it, it might make them uncomfortable, and you know what?  Most people know when someone is gay.  I'm not trying to be mean, I don't think being gay is a bad thing, it's just that sometimes it is obvious.  I say, you have found someone to love and who loves you, what can be better than that? 

  

Hope everything works out. 

Elffie 

Thanks for taking the time to respond to my question. I feel pretty much the same as you wrote. Just wasn't sure if that's what exactly my responce should be. 

  

Take Care 

  

Michael 
 
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poolboy
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July 8, 2006, 6:26 pm PDT

Thanks

Quote From: jenoc99

You are partners, raising two children together- my advice to you is to let the information come from the kids to their parents. You don't have to explain your orientation to anyone.
I live in Massachusetts where same sex marriage is legal. My children have friends that have two moms or two dads, and they don't think twice about it, it is everyday, normal life for us all here. I think that just living life the way that you are, being good parents, just doing your day to day activities that you have to do, your personal life will become more accepted. Well, by many people, not all people of course.. some people aren't interested in changing their minds. I wish you well.

Thanks for responding to my question. I wasn't sure how exactly to feel about it. I'm an international trucker and it varies all over the place on how much homosexuality is exceptable. I'm feel I am bias because I am gay to accept it but struggle also with what is socially acceptable. 

  

Ciao for now and Thanks Again 

  

Michael 
 
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