Topic : Homosexuality

Hi...my son is gay, he came out when he was 18.  Before he told me I had NO clue that he was gay, and it did shok me.  I'm afraid I didn't respont the way he wanted me to respond.  I asked the usual questions, what did I do wrong (?), are you sure it isn't a phase (?), things like that.  After a few days I realized that he was still the same person I had known and loved for 18 years, the only difference was... now I knew that he was gay.  Once I got that into my thick head everything was fine between my son and me...other than typical mom/grown child  issues :-)  Maybe you could tell your family that you are the same as you always were....  I really hope things work out for you and your family and wish all the best to everyone here.

I knew I was a lesbian from a young age.  When I was only about 7 years old I knew that there was something different about me.  For one, boy's clothing was more appealling to me than the color pink and dresses.  Because of my choice of clothing I was often a victim of bullying from my classmates, I never let it bother me that much.  When I was in the third grade, I remember going into my mom's room and telling her that i wanted to be "normal".  Later that week we went out and bought a completely new wardrobe for me, complete with pink and dresses, the only things I have forced myself away from since I could dress myself.

 

Seventh grade was probably the worst time of my life.  Mom had decided to take us to church.  I was never a very religious person, and now she wanted to make us go to the one place I never really understood.  To this day I still think that reason mom started to make us go to church was because she believed that in her mind, finding God would change my lifestyle around.  It didn't.  As a matter of fact it caused me to become even more distant from God. 

 

Since mom was really into the whole church thing, she made me go to confirmation classes.  One night after all of my fellow classmates had left, I sat down with the pastor and on of the church elders and completely broke down.  I told them about how I've known I was gay since I was seven and how it made me think suicidal thoughts because gay people go to hell.

 

...I was never confirmed and we quit going to church.  I felt as if the only reason why out of a class of 8 I was the only one to not be confirmed, was because I am a lesbian.

 

I am no longer religious due to the simple belief that gays go to hell. 

 

The only people to whom I have "came out" to are my mother, father, and very close friends.  My grandmother and aunt are two of the people who matter most to me, have no idea.

 

My grandmother is a very religious person, but can be very judgemental and make homophobic comments when on the subject of homosexuality.  My aunt on the other hand isnt very religious and rarely makes homophobic comments, but I am still worried to tell her.  I really want to tell the both of them, especially my grandmother, before her time comes, I dont want her to go with out knowing what her granddaughter is truely like.

I am not gay, and I consider myself a religious person. God created you in His image and He created you just as you are. I do not think you choose to be gay, and I do not think you are going to hell. God loves you. Only He knows what is in each of our hearts. We all fall short of His Glory. Just love God by loving yourself.

There are Christian ministers out there that interpert the Bible differently and see the Bible written from a historical view. Maybe you can find a Christian counselor who will help you how to accept yourself as you are and to lead a full joyful loving life.

"Coming out" to different people is a difficult decision. People react differently. The one question I would ask myself before doing so is "Do they really need to know?" I do not think that everybody needs to know everything about me, and that I am entitled to some dignity just being a child of God.

God Bless You. Take care of yourself.

don't label yourself. I am 18 and my best friend is a lesbian, the other two are gay. When my lesbian friend was going through her figuring out period, every five minutes she was saying "i'm gay, no straight, no bi, no asexual" and I said "don't label yourself. take things as they come" she chilled out, and was open. If she liked a girl at the moment she said so, if she liked a guy she said so, she's now in a relationship with a women and they've been going together for about a year now. But she told me she still has feelings for guys every now and then. In short, the important thing to remember is you are young, and just love yourself as is. No matter what that is at the moment. And confide in friends, but don't label yourself. Gay, or straight you're a human being, and labels are for cans not people. :-) A lot of people never figure out their sexuality, my co-worker is 35 years old and married to another man and he still says he thinks he might be bi...even he changes his label.

-Anya

YES you are right! sexuality (hetero, or homosexuality) is not about sex. it is about the emotional connection one has with the other person, whether it is same-sex or not. I am a Human Sexuality major and I am so sick of people associated relationships with sex.

Uuuum.....so what about people who can't have kids? Like me? I can't have kids...soooo does that mean I am a defected creation of God?

We are all people, and homosexuals are beautiful people brought on earth (whether by god, or another spiritual entity) for a purpose.

Nothing is as black and white as you implied.

-Peace

Hello,
My best friend of 12 years came out of the closet to me when we first got into high school. He was shaking when he told me and we never got mushy when we talked. But when he told me he was gay, I blurted out "so? I love you. you're my friend. nothing will change that." he hugged me. he NEVER had hugged me. that is the greatest moment of my life, was to be hugged by him. Because I made him happy. A lot of people don't have that person to hug, and I know a lot of GLBT youth who don't. I worked for a suicide hotline and trust me, they got calls all the time from gay youth, that is why I want to work in that field. I am a straight ally. my point is, you were defensive, and you have the right to be. Gays are treated like trash by some. but give us some credit. i do know how you feel, not as a gay man, but as a human being who is stigmatized by an ignorant mass. In high school I was called "faggot lover" and I had my locker vandilized. I also, got verbally attacked and had threats out against me. I had to miss school many times because I didn't feel safe, and as a result I was banned from my high school graduation for absences. I go to an Ivy League college, but I wasn't allowed to graduate high school. I was harassed not just for being a gay-rights activist in training, but also because I am overweight...so I know what it is like to be stigmatized. When people say they know how you feel they are realting to you on a human level. Isn't that what the glbt community wants? to be treated as equals.

Thank you for listening to my rant. :-)

gracie,
Anya

Hi, I'm 58 years old and I'm transexual or I consider myself non transexual now. I am post op for over 3 years now. I'm female now and have been married for 38 years. We still love each other and there is no way that we will ever split up. It was a hard life for a while, but we both survived. I only have but one problem and that is I would love to have a more intimate relationship with her. I know that she is straight, but I'm just  in love with her. I have no label for myself, only that I'm married to the smartest and caring person in the whole world. I have resigned myself to haveing no intimacy with her as she says she is not a lesbian. I don't feel it would be anything than what we have had in the past. I feel that it would be better, but then I'm looking at my side of the fence. I don't have the sexual drive I once had, but long for some hugs and kisses. She really doesn't care. I asked her if she would want to have something going and that maybe we should go our separate ways. She asked me back, do you want that? I said no. She likes it just the way it is. I'm fine with it also. I do miss the intimacy, but I don't think it is a deal breaker.

Sheila

I'm not sure what is my sexual orientation. In fact, I have been questioning my sexual orientation for almost two years now. I do sometimes feel attracted to men, and I am also attracted to women as well. Also, I am easily turned on by men, more than I am by women. I've also had sex with a another male once, but still, I'm not sure what is going on...Is it just in my head that I think I'm gay, or am I'm just having some trouble determining this. Like I said earlier, I do have feeling toward other women, but I think i'm trapped somewhere.

And no, I am not "out" because most of the people I hang out with are straight, and I don't want them constantly over my head everyday, I definitely DO NOT want the people who are in over me (my casemanager) to find out because I am afraid of what they willd o as far as my "therapy"