Quote From: jpfun980My story in short:
I've spent most of my life fighting to keep my parents proud. 3.96 GPA, leadership roles, etc etc. I even went to the degree of if i like a girl i'd stop being friends with her, because i knew my parents would disapprove. This year i had my first girlfriend. I kept it from my parents, and when my dad found out he made me act like we were only friends and not touch at all when we were hanging out and we never told my mom. My brother then got caught drinking at school. To take the heat off of himself he told my parents i had a g/f and made up a story about me letting him drink at her house. My parents were furious and made it so i can't see her until next september. As a result my g/f, of 8ish months, left me for a guy. She told me to wait and she'd get beck together with me when school started. It hurt to be put off like that. Almost like i was just there when she didn't have someone else, and I pretty much got to the point of not trusting her, my bro, or virtually anyone else. I got mad and stopped talking to her for only 2 days. As a result of that she ODed and ended up in the hospital. She broke up with her b/f saying she didn't want to lose me. Come to find out she may also be pregnant; and needs me to be there for her for that too. I don't trust her enough to go back out with her, but care for her enough to be there for her. The problem is i have to stop talking to one of my friends she doesn't like, and i can't tell anyone that she is pregnant.
Does anyone have any advice?!? Because i'm really struggling in silence. My parents hate the fact that i ever dated the girl. I used to talk to my bro about things, but i can't trust him anymore. Neither do i trust my ex anymore. I can't tell anyone about her being pregnant. And then i also let her control who i talk to and w/e because i don't want her hurting her child's life by ODing again (which would very likely happen if i didn't give her that control). I kinda' have the responsibilty of two people's lives and i'm only 16! If i try to run away from it and stop talking to her; i have the guilt of potentially killing two lives, but at the same time i have all that i'm taking on and i can't even talk to anyone about it ... I'm going to be a senior. I should be worrying about things like college. I should only have to worry about my thesis right now not how to support a kid that's not even mine, but for some reason i feel a great amount of responsibility for. I was thinking about going to the airforce academy, but now am not. because of a kid i didn't make any choice in deciding whether or not it was concieved, but the person that did can't take the responsibility of that. And because i keep all that to myself: no one understands why i'm so stressed lately. ANY HELP? .... Please?
The best thing to do is ask your parents if they are okay with you. They can't just "stop loving you" for something as small as that. I came out to my family, my mom still denies I'm bi-sexual, and my dad told me I'm going to hell for it, but everyday they still tell me they love me. They might not be comfortable talking to you about some things, but if you word it in the right way they will feel at eez. Like if you want to slowly nudge yourself into talking to them say "a friend I have". Don't say the name.. don't say "my ex girlfriend". Slooowly walk your way into it. If you find that you cannot talk about your problems to your mother, father, or brother, there is always help lines you can call. I've called one twice, they were pretty helpful. Or, you can even talk to other friends around you.
Now, the only thing I want to warn you about is, hopefully I didn't read it wrong, if she's telling you to not talk to one of your friends, do not do it. She doesn't own you for one. You're way to young to get tied up into a relationship that is controlling, and you're not even dating right now! I had a boyfriend that told me I couldn't hang out with certain people or talk to certain people, mostly men. Annnd that relationship almost landed me 6 feet in the ground. He ended up attacking me. I warn you to not let someone tell you who you can and cannot talk too. It's not healthy. But, that's my advice.
Good luck with everything!
And remember to be you, no matter what!
-Lindsay
