Topic : Homosexuality

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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:18:07 pm
Author : dataimport
Have you come out of the closet to find love and support? Or are those close to you having a difficult time accepting your lifestyle?

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April 7, 2008, 7:51 am PDT

Hello

Hello Hi to you all at first I didn’t have the courage to write or to tell anyone about my problem cues here it is described here in my country  as a daisies and you should die or be bunched or may be in mercy you just despair to then air case you will be insulted and humiliated in public and  I don’t know what to do  so some one pleas help

 
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April 7, 2008, 2:14 pm PDT

well im glad ur lucky.

Quote From: kimmeh88

 My very first post here on the message board . It's good to know that there are still many people who support gays and lesbians. I used to be one of those confused teenagers who didn't know what she had to pick. For years I was questioning myself: Am I gay or straight? Until now I know that I'm both. So that makes me bisexual for now.
I grew up in a very gay friendly environment. My parents are very open minded people. My dad has an uncle who is gay and they taught me to accept anyone no matter what.
Being gay is sometimes misunderstood. People will be suprised to know how many people are gay or bisexual. The thing is that it's still taboo!
I'm not religious. I've never been. I hear some people say gay might be a sin. But we all sin sometimes, don't we? Even straight people. If we tried to live a life without sins we might just have to live like a fish or something.
well i wasnt raised in an open minded environment, my parents shun that kind of thing when i told my parents i like both my mother yelled at me for 4 hrs about how bad it was for me to be like that, about stuff from the bible....and how i could die with aids and stupid crap like dat. im really religious and i know some ppl say its "wrong" but oh well i am what i am and im not going to change for stupid people like my parents.
 
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April 8, 2008, 11:28 am PDT

problems with family acceptance

 
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April 8, 2008, 12:07 pm PDT

problems with family acceptance

This msg is from a parent of a son who came out about his gay choice in life. Two years ago when my son was 17 he told me he wanted to see a therapist so I made arrangements and he went into therapy -about 3 months into therapy he asked me to join him for a session -I aggreed .In therapy he told me I wanted you here because I wanted to tell you that" I am homosexual" If  I said I  was surprised I would be a lying -Most parents deep down inside know their kids orrientation-a person doesn't wake up one day and say Gee I think I want to be differnt I'll be gay..Lets just say he had the typical characteristics of someone who had the potential that maybe he might grow up and decide to be gay  so parents who are distraught and shocked I say Pleeeese do you not know your child have you not observed his/her behaviors choices,mannerisims,personality etc...So I guess when they say Never underestimate the power of denial its never more true in these such cases.  You know I'm not jumping for joy and so happy that my only son decided to choose a gay lifestyle opposed to a heterosexual one..but that was HIS life choice he made and I love him and would never put that choice in between our relationship. The only problem I had with this whole thing is--- how hard and cold this world is and how cruel predjudiced and ignorant people can be and it breaks my heart if someone hurts him because of his choice--by snickering, making fun of or losing on opportunities because of his sexual orientation--thats my only concern. This message is mostly for parents of Gay Children If I had a choice betwwen my son/daughter being  Gay or mentally challanged or ill I 'd pick Gay If I had a choice watching my child be on Chemo  dying of cancer or be Gay, or if I had to put my chid in and out of drug rehabs you know gay don't sound so bad.  He or she is the same person he was when he was little being gay doesn't change who you are If you loved your child before its a tragedy if you throw them out of your life because their sexual choices differ from yours and those of you who throw Christian values in the mix remember "he who is without sin cast the first stone"

 
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April 8, 2008, 7:42 pm PDT

Homosexuality

Quote From: lori6979

This msg is from a parent of a son who came out about his gay choice in life. Two years ago when my son was 17 he told me he wanted to see a therapist so I made arrangements and he went into therapy -about 3 months into therapy he asked me to join him for a session -I aggreed .In therapy he told me I wanted you here because I wanted to tell you that" I am homosexual" If  I said I  was surprised I would be a lying -Most parents deep down inside know their kids orrientation-a person doesn't wake up one day and say Gee I think I want to be differnt I'll be gay..Lets just say he had the typical characteristics of someone who had the potential that maybe he might grow up and decide to be gay  so parents who are distraught and shocked I say Pleeeese do you not know your child have you not observed his/her behaviors choices,mannerisims,personality etc...So I guess when they say Never underestimate the power of denial its never more true in these such cases.  You know I'm not jumping for joy and so happy that my only son decided to choose a gay lifestyle opposed to a heterosexual one..but that was HIS life choice he made and I love him and would never put that choice in between our relationship. The only problem I had with this whole thing is--- how hard and cold this world is and how cruel predjudiced and ignorant people can be and it breaks my heart if someone hurts him because of his choice--by snickering, making fun of or losing on opportunities because of his sexual orientation--thats my only concern. This message is mostly for parents of Gay Children If I had a choice betwwen my son/daughter being  Gay or mentally challanged or ill I 'd pick Gay If I had a choice watching my child be on Chemo  dying of cancer or be Gay, or if I had to put my chid in and out of drug rehabs you know gay don't sound so bad.  He or she is the same person he was when he was little being gay doesn't change who you are If you loved your child before its a tragedy if you throw them out of your life because their sexual choices differ from yours and those of you who throw Christian values in the mix remember "he who is without sin cast the first stone"

I guess I am confused...on the one hand you say this:

"a person doesn't wake up one day and say Gee I think I want to be differnt I'll be gay"

Then later you say this:

"You know I'm not jumping for joy and so happy that my only son decided to choose a gay lifestyle opposed to a heterosexual one."

I am not going to jump down your throat, I am just confused by these two statements, they seem to oppose each other.

I am a 29 year old bisexual woman. I am not going to pretend that I know what it's like to be a gay male. The world in general can be horrid to gay men. However, I can tell you this. No matter HOW cruel the world is to him he will find happiness in knowing his mother loves him still and especially that he's not living in a closet.

I now live in a closet. It's not a homosexual closet. I am married to a man. I am an atheist. I am not telling you this to start a religious debate, because that isn't my point. My point is, I am living in a closet, many people do not know I am an atheist, they wouldn't be able to handle it. So I keep that part of myself secret and it HURTS. It's a BURDEN. It's a constant weight on me. Being in any closet HURTS. It can cause depression. It can create stress. It can become so weighted on your mind it's all you think about.

So, while the world may be cruel to your son sometimes at least he's not being cruel to himself...seriously, being in a closet is worse for many people.

Also, the world is a lot more accepting. People in my generation are very much "over" the gay-hate thing. Not ALL, but most. I think my child's generation will be even more so this way.

And I am glad you said that he is the same person..because he so IS! LOL!!! He's BETTER than he was before because he's being HONEST. He's better because now he can SHARE his life with you. If he falls in love he can SHARE that with his MOTHER. His life doesn't have to be shut off or lied about anymore...he can come to you for advice about these things things the way straight people get to. You can be at his wedding someday if he gets married...his life isn't a dark secret with you that he has to deal with shame. He at least has his mother there...knowing him.

I am a mother, and I couldn't imagine not wanting to love every thing about my child.

Anyway...LOL I'm done for now!

Good luck.
 
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April 9, 2008, 10:51 am PDT

homosexuality

Quote From: rainpainrain

I guess I am confused...on the one hand you say this:

"a person doesn't wake up one day and say Gee I think I want to be differnt I'll be gay"

Then later you say this:

"You know I'm not jumping for joy and so happy that my only son decided to choose a gay lifestyle opposed to a heterosexual one."

I am not going to jump down your throat, I am just confused by these two statements, they seem to oppose each other.

I am a 29 year old bisexual woman. I am not going to pretend that I know what it's like to be a gay male. The world in general can be horrid to gay men. However, I can tell you this. No matter HOW cruel the world is to him he will find happiness in knowing his mother loves him still and especially that he's not living in a closet.

I now live in a closet. It's not a homosexual closet. I am married to a man. I am an atheist. I am not telling you this to start a religious debate, because that isn't my point. My point is, I am living in a closet, many people do not know I am an atheist, they wouldn't be able to handle it. So I keep that part of myself secret and it HURTS. It's a BURDEN. It's a constant weight on me. Being in any closet HURTS. It can cause depression. It can create stress. It can become so weighted on your mind it's all you think about.

So, while the world may be cruel to your son sometimes at least he's not being cruel to himself...seriously, being in a closet is worse for many people.

Also, the world is a lot more accepting. People in my generation are very much "over" the gay-hate thing. Not ALL, but most. I think my child's generation will be even more so this way.

And I am glad you said that he is the same person..because he so IS! LOL!!! He's BETTER than he was before because he's being HONEST. He's better because now he can SHARE his life with you. If he falls in love he can SHARE that with his MOTHER. His life doesn't have to be shut off or lied about anymore...he can come to you for advice about these things things the way straight people get to. You can be at his wedding someday if he gets married...his life isn't a dark secret with you that he has to deal with shame. He at least has his mother there...knowing him.

I am a mother, and I couldn't imagine not wanting to love every thing about my child.

Anyway...LOL I'm done for now!

Good luck.

 

The truth will set you free...  Life is not a dress rehersal we come around one time this is the time to make the best of your life.  We make choices in our lives to be happy or misrable. If you are happy and fullfilled in your marriage then so be it. But to go through life as a robot living it for everyone else but yourself is a travisty.  Be yourself-be who you are- the people who truly love you will accpt your decisions and be there for you those who don't don't deserve to be in your life in the first place. Who cares if you are an atheist?? And who cares if people can't handle what you are There not any better then you are  remember something ...everybody has a cross to bear...Do the people you know have nothing better in their lives to worry about then your religious or lack of religious beliefs you have? You are entitled to your choices to beleive in God or not to believe in A God that is your right to decide. I beleieve we respect peoples beleifs and not judge them .  If you family, friends, husband etc are devout Christians or whatever you respect their belifs and in return they should respect your views end of story that is nothing you should be in the closet about.  AS you said "the world is more accepting'  what is the worst thing your husband would do if you told hom you were bisexual kill you??  I have a married friend who is bisexual and her husband is completly aware of it and accepts it because he Loves her. Get out of the closet and live your life the way you want to live it and not the way other people Expect you to live!  The most inportant thing is to be whatever you are without shame!  Good luck in your life and remember BE HAPPY!!!!!

 
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April 9, 2008, 12:21 pm PDT

Homosexuality

Quote From: lori6979

 

The truth will set you free...  Life is not a dress rehersal we come around one time this is the time to make the best of your life.  We make choices in our lives to be happy or misrable. If you are happy and fullfilled in your marriage then so be it. But to go through life as a robot living it for everyone else but yourself is a travisty.  Be yourself-be who you are- the people who truly love you will accpt your decisions and be there for you those who don't don't deserve to be in your life in the first place. Who cares if you are an atheist?? And who cares if people can't handle what you are There not any better then you are  remember something ...everybody has a cross to bear...Do the people you know have nothing better in their lives to worry about then your religious or lack of religious beliefs you have? You are entitled to your choices to beleive in God or not to believe in A God that is your right to decide. I beleieve we respect peoples beleifs and not judge them .  If you family, friends, husband etc are devout Christians or whatever you respect their belifs and in return they should respect your views end of story that is nothing you should be in the closet about.  AS you said "the world is more accepting'  what is the worst thing your husband would do if you told hom you were bisexual kill you??  I have a married friend who is bisexual and her husband is completly aware of it and accepts it because he Loves her. Get out of the closet and live your life the way you want to live it and not the way other people Expect you to live!  The most inportant thing is to be whatever you are without shame!  Good luck in your life and remember BE HAPPY!!!!!

Oh, just so you know my husband is fully aware that I am bisexual, he was before we married. It's not an issue for him at all. I am not in any closet with my husband, it is with other people in my life. The situation gets very sticky, but I am in therapy and hoping I can find some kind of confidence and courage to be able to be myself despite what some people will say.


 
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April 12, 2008, 5:27 am PDT

Homosexuality

Quote From: lori6979

This msg is from a parent of a son who came out about his gay choice in life. Two years ago when my son was 17 he told me he wanted to see a therapist so I made arrangements and he went into therapy -about 3 months into therapy he asked me to join him for a session -I aggreed .In therapy he told me I wanted you here because I wanted to tell you that" I am homosexual" If  I said I  was surprised I would be a lying -Most parents deep down inside know their kids orrientation-a person doesn't wake up one day and say Gee I think I want to be differnt I'll be gay..Lets just say he had the typical characteristics of someone who had the potential that maybe he might grow up and decide to be gay  so parents who are distraught and shocked I say Pleeeese do you not know your child have you not observed his/her behaviors choices,mannerisims,personality etc...So I guess when they say Never underestimate the power of denial its never more true in these such cases.  You know I'm not jumping for joy and so happy that my only son decided to choose a gay lifestyle opposed to a heterosexual one..but that was HIS life choice he made and I love him and would never put that choice in between our relationship. The only problem I had with this whole thing is--- how hard and cold this world is and how cruel predjudiced and ignorant people can be and it breaks my heart if someone hurts him because of his choice--by snickering, making fun of or losing on opportunities because of his sexual orientation--thats my only concern. This message is mostly for parents of Gay Children If I had a choice betwwen my son/daughter being  Gay or mentally challanged or ill I 'd pick Gay If I had a choice watching my child be on Chemo  dying of cancer or be Gay, or if I had to put my chid in and out of drug rehabs you know gay don't sound so bad.  He or she is the same person he was when he was little being gay doesn't change who you are If you loved your child before its a tragedy if you throw them out of your life because their sexual choices differ from yours and those of you who throw Christian values in the mix remember "he who is without sin cast the first stone"

well im glad there mom was like that, my on the other hand hated and scolded me for it, it hurts when the main family member you look up to and love all of a sudden stops loving you for your choice.=[[ i still love my mom not matter what.
 
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April 14, 2008, 8:56 am PDT

Confused

Hi! I am a married mother.

I'm not very happy in my marriage. Lately ( a few months now) I have been having fantasy about having sex with womens. Out in the real world I don't look at women like that but on the internet I just can't stop. I've been going on lesbiens and bi-sexual sites but have not have the courage to post anything. From what I've read it seems normal cause it seems there's a lot of woman wanting to explore. Like I said I'm not happy in my marriage, he's not a bad guy I just don't think he has a clue and maybe a woman would and I don't only mean sexualy.

I guess what I would like is some input on how I'm feeling. Maybe somebody reading this has been in the same situation.

Thanks for listening.

 
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April 14, 2008, 4:22 pm PDT

Homosexuality

Quote From: adamsouthern15

well im glad there mom was like that, my on the other hand hated and scolded me for it, it hurts when the main family member you look up to and love all of a sudden stops loving you for your choice.=[[ i still love my mom not matter what.
 Adam - I am so sorry that you feel that your mom has stopped loving you. As a parent of a gay son too, I can understand what your mom is going through. I had to go to counseling, because I had no clue about my son's sexual orientation and felt a great grief of losing the future life I had forseen for  my son and for seeing a quite different life for him. I choose to go to a Christian counselor, not a priest(I was rasied Catholic) and was suprised that the counselor offered me great relief and comfort. I could not see my son choosing to be gay, and I always felt that he had a good heart. Have you suggested that your mom go to a counselor or to contact PFLAG for support? Let her know that you love her and that she is hurting you deeply and that you need her to be your mom. I am ashamed that I hurt my son in my reaction to the revelation of his orientation. I am grateful that I I found the strength to do what was right in seeking counseling. My son, you, and everyone who has struggled over years alone and then to be condemn for your honesty with the revelation your sexual orientation has my compassion. Just remember that there are many people who care for and love  you, including your mom and me. Please post back to let me know how things go for you. I truely want to know. You are in my prayers.
 

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