A wedding ceremony is meant to celebrate the couple getting married, the key word is a celebration. A couple needs to spend more time on planning their marriage rather than planning their wedding celebration.
The wedding is the icing on the cake to an already planned out marriage. This doesn' t mean that you plan out every detail of your life together. But what it means is that you have talked about the important issues of your lives and how you will integrate these into each other's lives. If you haven't done this then you can't possibly plan a wedding celebration. Because what will be happening is that you are putting the cart before the horse!
What?
Glad you asked....If you have not discussed the important issues of a marriage together then you will be coming across these issues while planning your wedding celebration and that is where the conflict comes in. Issues will arise, let's just take one for example, finances. You both have different views on finances and how money should be spent, each person has their own definition of what is smart spending and what is a waste of money. If you haven't taken the time to sit down and discuss these issues before you start planning your wedding celebration this is when you will be forced to tackle this issue and that is when you will have conflict especially if you don't agree 100% on this, and most people don't!
What will happen is that everything will become a power struggle and what should have been a pleasant, fun, loving expression of your love for one another becomes a nightmare! It's not that you don't love the person or shouldn't marry the person, you just haven't done your homework to know if you are marrying the right person or how you are going to handle issues that come up in your lives together.
Love is not all about those euphoric feelings that we have when we are dating someone, love is a sacrifice, sacrificing for that person. It's about loving one another by placing that person's needs above your own. If only one person is doing this then the marriage will always be out of balance.
We need to connect to one another, physically, spiritually, emotionally and mentally. This balance is like a four-legged table, if one of these legs is missing then our table will always be wobbly.
The solution is to STOP planning the wedding and GO get some premarital counseling and find out more about this person you are committing to spend the rest of your life with.
Get the help you need NOW before you marry the wrong person!!!
So what if you have already purchased the cake, silverware, wedding gown, paid the DJ, these are just things they can be recouped. When you are talking about matters of the heart there is no price tag to put on a broken heart and a life of misery with someone you never should have married.
Take the time now to get to know your spouse, look at the hard issues of life because they will come up in your marriage and you will have to deal with them. It is better to have a heads up about what your partner thinks about certain subjects before you say I do.
(Original Air Date: 11/21/06) Contemporary weddings have turned into five-star productions, with couples pulling out all the stops to shine on their special day. But what happens when the bride- or groom-to-be starts making diva-like demands? Mike and Jamie agreed to a small Vegas wedding, but that went out the window when Jamie switched her gown three times, rented a limo to drive her one block and upgraded her engagement ring. Mike says that Jamie also made him un-invite all of his friends and cancel his bachelor party! Are Jamie’s antics a hint of what’s to come in their marriage? Then, Nastassia complains that her husband-to-be, Richard, is cheap. She says he wants her to buy bridal flowers from the grocery store, have her mom sew her gown and even schedule the wedding before year's end so he can get a tax write-off! Will Richard’s tightwad ways force Nastassia to call off the wedding? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.
