Are you Richard? Because you sure are getting defensive on these message boards and the more of your messages I read, the more I suspect you are Richard.
You're right - people don't have the right to judge you based on a 30 minute segment on a tv show. They do however, have the right to their opinion. If Richard plans to have a happy life with Nastassia, he needs to lighten up and chill out a little. My wedding was only about $4,000 and we had a wonderful day. My husband and I agree that, next to the birth of our kids, that was the best day of our lives. You know how much we fought about the planning? Absolutely none! Are we rich? Not by any means, but we found a way to make it work. What should have been done in the beginning is sitting down, making a budget and coming up with practical decisions. Thinking that her mother is going to make food for all the guests is absurd. We didn't have a big sit down dinner. Instead we had finger foods and of course, a cake. We had our wedding at a chapel where they did everything including flowers, food, music, etc. Also, a couple needs a honeymoon. After such a stressful time (planning a wedding, having it, etc.) you need a little getaway. Maybe DR is too expensive for your budget, but something else might be better. It's all about comprimise.
What is concerning more than anything is the controlling behavior and distrust Richard has for his fiance. I know that Richard recognizes his control issues, but Richard is trying to defend his actions rather than just accept the counseling. Everyone can be a better person and all counseling will do is make you both better people. I'm no Dr. Phil, but I'd say that counseling should continue even after they get married. Marriage is all about comprimise, understanding, trust, etc. Once you throw kids in to the mix, it gets even tougher. You have to trust your mate to do the right thing and if you can't do that, you shouldn't be getting married. Richard, you should trust Nastassia to send emails without having to go behind her and read all of them. Even though my emails are completely innocent, I still don't like for my husband to go behind me and read all of my private thoughts to my girlfriends. A couple has to have certain things in their relationship that are for themselves. Otherwise, you have no separate time and you'll drive each other insane. If I want my husband to know what I'm talking about with my friends, I tell him which I normally do, but he's not to go in to my inbox and read about something I consider my private thoughts. Listen, if someone is going to cheat in the relationship (not saying that's what you are concerned about, but this is just for instance) it's going to happen no matter how much of a "leash" you put on them.
Lastly, I can understand why Richard would feel upset and angry after the show, but you have to step back and wonder for the reason that the show was mainly about you. Because maybe you are the one with most of the problems. I'm not attacking you, but simply stating that you should take Dr. Phil's advice when he says you guys need help. You should take the help he is offering. Even for a healthy couple, counseling is a good thing. If you and your fiance are going to make it through a life long marriage, you are definitely going to have to change your ways. And, Nastassia is going to have to stand up for herself. Bowing down to all of Richard's demands is just going to make Richard resent you in the end anyway, so instead of barking orders at each other, you should comprimise. There is no room for selfishness in a relationship. I am not a psychiatrist, but I have been married for almost 10 years so I would say that I have a pretty good relationship with my husband. Good years and bad years and the reason we made it through the bad years is because we learned to comprimise and care about each other's feelings. It is very difficult to do sometimes but that's the only way you will stay married for life.
Good luck to you both!
(Original Air Date: 11/21/06) Contemporary weddings have turned into five-star productions, with couples pulling out all the stops to shine on their special day. But what happens when the bride- or groom-to-be starts making diva-like demands? Mike and Jamie agreed to a small Vegas wedding, but that went out the window when Jamie switched her gown three times, rented a limo to drive her one block and upgraded her engagement ring. Mike says that Jamie also made him un-invite all of his friends and cancel his bachelor party! Are Jamie’s antics a hint of what’s to come in their marriage? Then, Nastassia complains that her husband-to-be, Richard, is cheap. She says he wants her to buy bridal flowers from the grocery store, have her mom sew her gown and even schedule the wedding before year's end so he can get a tax write-off! Will Richard’s tightwad ways force Nastassia to call off the wedding? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.
