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Topic : 03/16 Rude Relatives

Number of Replies: 331
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Created on : Friday, November 17, 2006, 12:54:10 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/22/06) Do you know someone who turns your stomach or makes you cringe the minute he or she walks into the room? Dr. Phil talks to guests who say their relative’s rude behavior keeps them on edge. Dana says her sister-in-law, Terri, is ruining her life. Dana accuses Terri of signing her up as a man on a dating site, and says Terri calls her offensive names like “dyke,” “bitch,” and “whore.” It’s gotten so bad that Dana prays every night that Terri would get hit by a bus so the endless drama could stop! Terri calls Dana a liar, and says she tried to hook up her husband with another woman. Will these sisters-in-law ever stop pointing fingers at each other? Then, Paula says she and her daughter, Dana, live in constant fear of her out-of-control son, Steven. She claims he calls her and Dana “f**king bitches” and “retarded,” and has even threatened to set their house on fire. Paula got so fed up that she and Dana moved across the state to get away from him! Is Steven’s toxic behavior all his fault, or is Paula partially to blame? Tell us what you think!

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November 22, 2006, 6:48 am CST

I have to agree with your point.

Quote From: purplepenny

I don't understand the love affair people have with DNA. If a non family member did any of these things they would be happily ejected out of people's lives easily... But because they have similar genetic code they feel obligated to deal with an ass****?

I do not understand why DNA or family relations should mean you have to keep such a toxic person in your life. Sure, make an honest effort but if it's not returned... accept it. The truth of the matter is not everyone loves or even likes everyone, and that's okay. It's still the truth even if the other person is family. And if the other person has done some very repugnant things - wish death to you, threaten you, harmed you - then it makes no sense to stay in a relationship with them.

 

There are always 2 sides, no, 3 sides to a story. I understand that. But when the "other side" has made it quite clear they want nothing but ill will for you, I'd take a hint & remove them from my life.

 
November 22, 2006, 6:50 am CST

11/22 Rude Relatives

 If the sister-in-law really wants to kill the other one, everytime she says anything negative to her, just tell her "you're right". Trust me this works. I have done this to my own sister-in-law. When she has been petty and tried to be hurtful (in the past, because she no longer does it and never to the extinct as these two), I would just respond, "you're right I am whatever you say". I have taken away her power. She can not hurt me. I did not allow her to see my hurt nor did I say anything negative to her in return. She wanted both of those things and when I didn't give them to her, she stopped. When one receives a negative e-mail, just hit reply and say "I sorry you feel that way and I will try to work on it". Someone has to be the bigger person. Why not let it be you?

 
November 22, 2006, 7:43 am CST

11/22 Rude Relatives

Quote From: mommabg

 If the sister-in-law really wants to kill the other one, everytime she says anything negative to her, just tell her "you're right". Trust me this works. I have done this to my own sister-in-law. When she has been petty and tried to be hurtful (in the past, because she no longer does it and never to the extinct as these two), I would just respond, "you're right I am whatever you say". I have taken away her power. She can not hurt me. I did not allow her to see my hurt nor did I say anything negative to her in return. She wanted both of those things and when I didn't give them to her, she stopped. When one receives a negative e-mail, just hit reply and say "I sorry you feel that way and I will try to work on it". Someone has to be the bigger person. Why not let it be you?

That's a very passive & manipulative way to handle the suituation, though.
 
November 22, 2006, 7:50 am CST

sister and mom, you have a friend in me (horrible siblings/children)

dear sister/mom with the brother/son, named STEVEN (sp):

I know you'll probably be reading this and i just wanted to tell you that i feel for you, i really do. nobody--not even dr. phil or anyone cheering for steven in that audience--can know what it feels like to to be constantly emotionally and physically abused by someone you're supposed to love and who is supposed to love you. my brother was twice as bad as steven. my parents were in denial and still kiss his ass today. he's changed by God's power and love, but only just recently. i won't go into detail about the very long list of how my brother violated our family. i just want you to know that i am on your side, and that your feeling of wanting your brother/son dead is completely normal. i am the most compassionate, gentle, peaceful, loving person you'll ever meet but someone can only be pushed so far by someone of their own blood before they have to start making a disconnect for their own emotional, mental, and physical safety. my parents still don't know the damage i suffered because of my brother. i don't think he even knows. and have i ever gotten an apology? hell no.

 

my bro and your bro were both bullied, but so the f*** what! so was i! i was picked on by my best friends!! am i a bully to anyone? no! to both my brother and to steven i say GROW A PAIR and start being a real man!! everyone on earth is picked on and bullied by someone sometime in their life--that in no way gives you a right to abuse your family. grow up before you land yourself in jail like my brother did. join the military and give them a break. i love my brother but i'd be happy if i didn't have to see him again for at least the next five years, maybe ever.

 

my brother even tried to blame our failed relationship on the fact that i got a boyfriend (now my husband) in high school when 'he needed me the most' (fyi, we have the most supportive, loving parents ever and they didn't do this to him). you have to understand that these people have something psychologically wrong with them that for some reason make them think that the world revolves around them and their feelings. they have a very distorted view of reality, everything is filtered through 'me, me, me'. but that's not your fault...blood doesn't mean anything unless its the blood of Christ, who is the only reason i'm even civil with my brother now. the only way to stay Christian about it and allow God to heal you is to remove yourself from that person and move on. you can only give so much before a person like that breaks your spirit. there comes a time when people have to start taking responsibility for their actions and stop blaming all their problems on someone else, and the time should have been a long time ago. since he won't do it, sister, you need to find a way to do it for yourself. mother, you need to protect your daughter.

 

you have a friend in me mom and sister, you have a friend in me...

 
November 22, 2006, 8:07 am CST

Rude Relatives

What a beautiful spirit Steven has.  As a mother of two teenage boys, I had such an urge to give him a hug and encourage him to follow his dream of being a naval officer.  I wish him only happiness from this day forward.  Let him prove to his mother what an awesome man he can be.  Best of luck, Steven.
 
November 22, 2006, 8:29 am CST

Need Some Mother-in-law Help

I am worried that I may be a rude family member. It's sort of a long story but here are the main points. My husband and I have been married for 4 and a half years. Before my husbands father past away, we spend nearly ever Sunday with "Dad" (my father-in-law), his mother (grandma), and my husband's brother. My husband's family lives a little over an hour away, so we would meet at a point in between. During those two years, my mother-in-law never once came to Sunday dinner with us. I have always felt out of place around my Mother-in-law. It doesn't help that her house is a health hazard. That is a very strong statement, but let me explain... She has a dog and two cats. The litter is not kept clean, and the dog goes where ever she wants. The house literally smells like urine. One of the cats have some trouble a year or so ago and was throwing up on everything (table, chairs, etc.); it was never cleaned up. She just cover it up with sheets and table cloths. The kitchen and bathrooms are even worse. All of that said, I don't really like my mother-in-law. She is not a bad person, but the state of her home and her lack of interest in us before our daughter was born has made for a bad start. I really have no respect for her at all. I don't want my dislike for her to effect how my daughter sees her Grandma. Also I wish that my husband could understand why I don't want to take my 1 year old daughter into her house. By the way, we are going to her house for Thanksgiving dinner. That was decided without my knowledge. If anyone has any ideas of how best to deal with this please help!
 
November 22, 2006, 9:11 am CST

dr phil i cant touch this hahahahaha

i wouldnt spend 5 seconds living like this show has shown these people living DAMNNNNNNNNN, as far as the woman getting emails all the time from the blonde wow mamm dont you know how to block her address from getting through to your email? {just click the little square block located to the left of each email you have when you see that you have it selected then look to the top or bottom of the mail page you will notice a space that says SPAM well all you have to do then is click on it, wowwwwww look no more spam from her lol, she will have to open a new email address to bother you again and when she does mark it as spam as well wow   lol no more spam from that address as well and so on and so on, you can stop that crap if you relly want to,><
 
November 22, 2006, 9:11 am CST

Thoughts about the show

My thoughts about the sisters-in-law...well, quite frankly I think they both just need to grow up and let it go.  I know it's frustrating to ignore someone who is saying and doing such awful things to you but to give any attention to it just fuels the fire.  If they can't at least be civil to each other for the sake of the family then just stay away from each other altogether and pretend the other doesn't exist...but not wish they were dead!!!

By the end of the show the waterworks came full force!  LOL  At first, watching the videos of Steven and the way he was treating his mom and sister just disgusted me and I all I could think of was how I would be dragging his butt and his stuff to the curb and daring him to come back.  But, then as the show went on I changed my mind altogether.  Giving all the circumstances and things that happened to him in the past, it's hard to expect much different.  I'm not condoning his behavior and I don't think his mom went about certain things the right way either, but it's certainly understandable how he ended up where he is now.  Watching him and seeing the look in his eyes convinced me that he was sincere about wanting to change his life and become a better person.  There's pleny of a**holes and jerks in the world but most don't have a dream and the desire to change.  I applaud Dr. Phil for giving Steven the resources and chance to prove himself to be the man he so wants to be.  I wish him and his family much luck and I hope he fulfills his dreams in serving this country and becoming a caring and proud man!

 
November 22, 2006, 9:16 am CST

dr phil you messed me up hahahaha

i was surfing the net for another post board when you told the two women if they didn't shut up you were going to put a muzzle on both of them  hahahahahahaha i broke my chair i was sitting in i was laughing so hard hahahahahaha however i was glad to hear you tell them that after all it does say the Dr Phil show, thank you i was more interested in what you had to say than i was in those two
 
November 22, 2006, 9:32 am CST

Lack of control

I felt awful watching the show.  I understand that we need to see the negative to see the process of change, but really when they get to the show there should be some control or change.  This is awful when we hear the guests continue to argue and nothing is done to help them or others in this position.  There truly needs to be a control by Dr Phil.

With the second guests, Mother and son, he stopped them when they started to talk to each other and made them talk to him.  I see the show as loosing appeal for helping me.  I have learned much from your show and when my husband and I watch it together we have had great discussions, but this watching them argue and no imput from Dr Phil is just useless

Thanks for the ability to type my 2cents

 
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