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Topic : 03/16 Rude Relatives

Number of Replies: 331
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Created on : Friday, November 17, 2006, 12:54:10 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 11/22/06) Do you know someone who turns your stomach or makes you cringe the minute he or she walks into the room? Dr. Phil talks to guests who say their relative’s rude behavior keeps them on edge. Dana says her sister-in-law, Terri, is ruining her life. Dana accuses Terri of signing her up as a man on a dating site, and says Terri calls her offensive names like “dyke,” “bitch,” and “whore.” It’s gotten so bad that Dana prays every night that Terri would get hit by a bus so the endless drama could stop! Terri calls Dana a liar, and says she tried to hook up her husband with another woman. Will these sisters-in-law ever stop pointing fingers at each other? Then, Paula says she and her daughter, Dana, live in constant fear of her out-of-control son, Steven. She claims he calls her and Dana “f**king bitches” and “retarded,” and has even threatened to set their house on fire. Paula got so fed up that she and Dana moved across the state to get away from him! Is Steven’s toxic behavior all his fault, or is Paula partially to blame? Tell us what you think!

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November 22, 2006, 1:16 pm CST

11/22 Rude Relatives

It's so hard for me to watch a Dr Phil show like this, not because of the content, but because my heart aches for the kind help he offers to kids like Steven.

 

I know that it's impossible to help all boys like this one, and every one he helps is blessed, believe me. I have a 15 year old son who lost his dad in a car accident when he was 5 and have spent the last 10 years fighting a seemingly endless uphill battle.

 

My son is bright, assessed in some subjects at a late Grade 12 level (he's in the 9th grade), has difficulty in school, with peers, with social skills and extremely impulsive, aggressive behavior.

 

He is one very angry young man, especially when dealing with authority. He's very aggressive with myself and his siblings. I am widowed with 4 children and don't have a large income, so it's very difficult to get access to anything that Dr Phil offers. My son just spent 2 months in the youth detention facility, and after spending well over a decade devoted to finding ways to help him, I'm beginning to think that there is no helping him anymore. I've exhausted all possibilities, and am now left with the justice system as an external control.

 

When Dr Phil mentioned that Steven was on meds very young and that the meds could have contributed to this situation they now find themselves in, it was scary. The doctors wanted to put my son on antidepressants at 2 1/2-3 years old. They tried him on Ritalin at 4 and Ritalin+Clonidine at 5. More med trials followed, with me saying whoa enough! at about 6-7. I had had enough, and so had he. I kept him away from meds and did my best for a few years, but had to revisit the issue when he was about 10-11, he could not get through a single week at school and the house was upside down 24/7. At one point his psychiatrist even tried him on Lithium.

 

I'm afraid I've lost my son, probably to the justice system, because there aren't any other avenues open for him.

 

I'm happy for the moms I see getting help through Dr Phil, really happy, but it's like winning the lottery...I wish it were us.

 
November 22, 2006, 1:19 pm CST

Rude Relatives

 

 

I am very interested in how the young man Steven turned out.   I have prayed that he would be able to find some kind of peace in his life and that his family was able to help him.   I totally understand where this young man is coming from.  My son was a lot like Steven (angry all the time and striking out at the ones that loved him).  But all of his anger was not from what we as a family was or was not doing.  It was from within himself.  He did not understand himself and why he did the things he did.  Through a lot of prayers and patience Jeffery is a grown young man in the United States Army.  He served in Iraq and is now on his second tour in Korea.  So you see Dr. Phil why I am so interested in the young man, Steven.  He too is interested in the military just as Jeffery was.   With love, patience and lots of prayer Steven will come out on top.

 

Please let me know this young man's outcome.   I will be praying for him and his family.

 

 

God Bless you and your wife.  You do good work.

 

A friend in Christ,

 

Joan Hipp

 
November 22, 2006, 1:20 pm CST

Troubled young man

 I to could see the pain in Stevens eyes, I never felt the need to respond to anything like this before but felt I had too because I believe Steven needs to hear some positive words. I hope he reads these messages of encouragement. I felt so sad for him because his pain was just pouring out of him and he looked very young and desparate for some hope.  Just hang in there Steven, life will get better if try to letyourself be vunerable and have faith and hope for you future.  good-luck
 
November 22, 2006, 1:24 pm CST

so called christians

if these women consider themselves christians then they have another think coming.

if this is christianity then i am glad i am jewish both these women need to go back and read about the life of jesus and reflect on that.

both these women are acting like little children and even my 9 year old grand daughter was appalled at them

 

 
November 22, 2006, 1:26 pm CST

Good Job, Steven

All I could see watching the story about Steven was so much sadness & fear.  It was such a sad story, & I couldn't stop crying.  I, too, wanted to reach out & touch him, he seemed so lost.  Like you say, Dr. Phil, we do what we know, & I don't know the Mom's story, but I cannot imagine hitting my son in the face, & moving away & leaving him.  How sad.  The Navy will be great for you Steven, if that's what you decide to do.  My son is in the Navy now, in Iraq, & it's been great for him, except for the Iraq part, but you have to do the bad and the good.  Just hang in, make it past boot camp, which is very difficult for most, even guys without anger issues, & it will be the best thing that ever happened for you.  I have read postings on Navy Moms Online about some of their sons & daughters who had many problems in their lives, stuck through boot camp, became leaders of their classes, & turned their lives around, so I know it happens all the time, & it will happen for you.  Be strong, stick to your plans, believe in the good guy that you can be, & we're all foreseeing the best for your future.
 
November 22, 2006, 1:27 pm CST

11/22 Rude Relatives

Quote From: hazysmama

I feel so sorry for Steven.......he is in pain and no one in his family can see his accting out is a cry for help

bull caca his acting out is because his mother allowed it she needs to get a back bone make him get his own house and get a job

 

 
November 22, 2006, 1:29 pm CST

Dear Steven, Please read.....

 

Dear Steven,

 

I have never written in on the Dr Phil Show until I saw you story!   I was truely in tears for you throughout your time on stage. 

 

Please believe Dr. Phil when he said you are a good guy.  I could see in your eyes that you have not meant the things that you have been saying and doing.  I think you honestly want to stop these things and turn things around.

 

Mistakes have been made in your family but don't look back and don't be hostile to your mom.  Also, your sister is a victim in this situation, like you have been.   Begin today to look at her as your sister, someone you love very much.  Your sister should look at you the same way.  Both of you are loving young adults that need eachother. 

 

I am a mom of three sons and my heart cried for you.  I can't say it enough.....you are a good person inside.....I believe in you just like Dr Phil does.  Your eyes said a great deal about your character and the sorrow you are feeling.  Move forward from this point on and be that good person that is inside of you.

 

Get in contact w/ your 6th grade teacher.  I hope he will be your mentor from this point on.  I could see how important he was to you during that special message at the end of the show (I was in tears then, too). 

 

I really hope Dr. Phil updates us all on how you are doing in six months or so.  I know it will be positive!

 

Happy Thanksgiving.....today is a new start for you.

 

Sincerely,

 

Mom with tears for you

 
November 22, 2006, 1:33 pm CST

11/22 Rude Relatives

We think that by hating others we hurt them, but hatred is a curved blade. The harm that we do to others, we also do to ourselves.  ~The Five People You Meet In Heaven~

 

It's only in the last few years of my life that I could truly understand how true this is.  There are always going to be people who say whatever pops into their head to hurt you.  You cannot change that.  You can only change your reaction to it.  Nothing you say or do can change the way they look at you if they don't want it to, it can only hurt you.  Hate and anger is like a wound that never heals, it can bring you to your knees if you let it fester.  It's not worth it.  Nothing is. 

 
November 22, 2006, 1:34 pm CST

Terri vs. Dana

What selfish idiots! 

 

It is apauling that Dana would even think that she would like to kill Dana .... HOWEVER ....

I can certainly understand WHY she would want to.  I would probably want her out of my family as well.

 

Dana seems to be the more level headed of the two.  Terri appears to be a SPOILED BRAT, the kind of person who bullies others, and isn't happy unless she is CAUSING chaos for everyone around her.  SHE  NEEDS SOMETHING TO DO!  She can't even allow Dana to speak.  She doesn't listen while others speak because she is already planning on how she can "get" them  before she butts in!   She acts as if what she feels is more important than what anyone else  has to say.  She is ill mannered by butting into other people while they are speaking. 

 

She pretends to be "high class", however, lacks the graciousness of remembering that she was INVITED into her husband's family and she should learn to keep her mouth shut and smile with graciousness if she doesn't agree.  She's just a big bully and I have no reservations in thinking that if she would get off of her high horse, learn some manners, keep her mouth shut and attempt to learn some class, although class is not something that can be learned. You eather are ...  or you are not.  She is not.

 

Lastly, I would hate to have to sit across the Thanksgiving table across from her.

Who could stand it?

 

 

 
November 22, 2006, 1:35 pm CST

DOUBLE WOW

Quote From: hazysmama

I feel so sorry for Steven.......he is in pain and no one in his family can see his accting out is a cry for help

YOU'RE RIGHT HE IS IN PAIN AND HE NEEDS SOMEONE TO TELL HIM THAT HE IS LOVED AND HE NEEDS A BIG HUG.........HE DOESN'T DESERVE TO GO THREW ALL THAT...HIS FAMILY SHOULD OF BEEN THERE AND JUST TO HELP HIM MORE

 
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