Topic : Pornography

Well, IMO, there is really nothing to be confused about if you look at it logically.

You s/o....is doing something that is hurting you..., something that he has admitted would hurt him if you did it, you've discussed it with him....and told him it hurts you.....and he is continuing anyway.

Think about that.  If he told you that you were doing something that is hurting him.....wouldn't you stop?

You know it could be ANYTHING.  Some women get angry because their s/o is spending too much time playing sports, gambling., drinking, hunting, fishing, playing pool, watching sports, working on a hobby.....it really doesn't matter what your s/o is doing.  If it's "hurting" you he is hurting you.  There is a problem.  You've asked him to stop?  I presume you have....and he is continuing.  Yet...he's made it obviously clear that he doesn't want YOU to do the same thing.  Obviously you are not meant for each other.

He needs to find a woman that doesn't like porn...and yet doesn't mind if he watches it.  You need to find a guy that won't hurt you or that will cease hurting you especially when you've made it "clear" to him he is hurting you.  If he can't stop a silly little thing like "porn"....I can't imagine where he'd be if the road gets rough and you need him there for you for other things.  To me it's a big red flag to his basic character of selfishness.  This is less about porn....and more about his total inconsideration of you.

I mean, when the two of you got together and before you started to fall in love....did he say, "Honey, I think I could love you but I'm going to spend many hours watching porn and I won't care how you feel about that but if you do it I'll be mad.  So either you agree to that or I'll find a woman who will."   ???  Because basically this is what he's saying now.  I'm sure if he had not "hidden" his total selfish agenda and was honest from the beginning...you would have ran like the wind.

I will never understand why people continue to stay in relationships.....who feel "lost" and "confused" in the relationship.  Relationships are supposed to make you feel good, secure, most times happy as you both work together toward a common goal.  Relationships are not supposed to make you feel "lost" and "confused"......and if you are and your partner visibly doesn't care..it's time to cut out.

Not to make it sound so simple, but it is too much when it starts interfering with your relationships, jobs, health, financial situation. A person can look at porn and still have a great sex life. A person can drink and not turn into an alcholic. A person can smoke and not get lung cancer. A person can eat fattening foods, and not gain weight. I am going somewhere with this...:)

Its when porn, alcohol, cigarettes, or food becomes a main source of contentment, and is used as an outlet for emotions that they can't express, become a problem.

I have been with a few men in my day, and for the most part, they all looked at porn from time to time. So did I. Still do. I would still rather have real sex. The people that look at porn daily, are sex addicts. When a person can't masturbate with their own imaginations, that shows a great lack of imagination and they will be stinky lovers anyway. The surest way to find out if a person is going to be a good lover or not is to find out how much they look at porn. If they look at it a lot, go to strip clubs, visit hookers, they are probably really crappy lovers.

People compensate for their failures by substituting it with something else.