Topic : Pornography

Quote From: sandman4u

I think Kimikomine hit the nail on the head with her post.  After watching porn stars do their thing, it gets same old same old after awhile.  Men often go to teen sites because it's here that the young women are beautiful and natural, not made up or have implants. Often times there are also amateur video clips in these sites as well, which is different and more titillating than the obviously staged porn movies.  It's natural for men to be curious about what women/teens look like underneath their clothes. It's been this way since the beginning of time!  Even if they have a gorgeous wife, they will always wonder what other women look like naked.  Porn viewing is an enjoyable activity that does not reflect on how men feel about their wives; rather it reflects on how they feel about sexuality and their sexual fantasies.  If only women could understand this!  They think it's all about THEM - and it isn't!  

Quote From: angel73681

And agree with you fully. I am a happily married woman and have learned, adjusted and have worked on this issue and agree with you 100%

Quote From: redfeathers

Excuse me?!! I'm going to have to say that is the most INSULTING thing someone has ever said to me. How DARE you? You don't even KNOW him or ME.

 

Boyfriends/Girlfriends are not in committed relationships.  They change in different directions like the wind blowing.  There's a reason people stay bf/gf and not get married, as it should be.  Usually there is some commitment issues there....and it's usually shopping for the better one down the road, hence the porn use of still being able to shop for variety, while keeping a moist spot for the urges.

 

First of all, my boyfriend and I have been in an exclusive relationship for 2 YEARS. There has been no cheating involved. Might I also mention that he and I were both virgins when we had sex for the first time, and have been having a steady and good sex life and relationship since then. There are NO commitment issues, otherwise we would not have been with eachother for so long. You make such RUDE, IGNORANT, and NARROW-MINDED assumptions. Seriously, HOW DARE you say things like this to people and still sleep at night?

 

If you're so damned smart, and know just soooooooooooooooooo much about other people's relationships, explain this: My boyfriend and I, like I have said before, DRAW PORN FOR EACHOTHER, OF EACHOTHER. How possibly are we "shopping for the next one down the road" with that? HM? Enlighten me. Oh, and also this, WE LOOK AT FURRY PORN? So is my boyfriend shopping for the next ANIMAL down the street? Do you think he's going to start screwing with dogs and cats? Oh, also, my furry character is a lioness, do you think that I'm going to go to Africa and start having sex with lions because I have bad sex with my own boyfriend?

 

My boyfriend has NEVER cheated on me, he doesn't PLAN on cheating on me, and sometimes he likes having sex with ME twice in one day.

 

It's lazy sex, pure and simple.  Quick gradification, because there is a lack of intimacy between partners.

 

You make so many assumptions about other people it's hard to even know where to start. Seriously, you REALLY need start looking past your own nose. You assume that just because someone looks at porn, they are emotionally ruined and their relationship is in the hole. Well, let me be the one to tell you that you are WRONG. My boyfriend and I have had plenty of fullfilling sex without porn and with it for the past two years. You know NOTHING about us. Tell me, tell me how you know if there is any lack of intimacy between us? YOU DON'T. Oh, by the way, my boyfriend and I also just spent about $38 on sex toys and lubricant for eachother. Oh, yeah sure, we're tooootally not commited there *sarcasm*.  We are also on friendly-communicating terms with the management of both the lingere shops in my town. He comes to them with me, helps me pick out lingere he likes to see me in, and lets me choose what kind of lubricants I want. OH! And the sex coupon book. I bought that for him as a gift. It's a little book of coupons for different kinds of sex, like sex in the shower, in front of a mirror, etc. OOooo, and my favorite, the gift I bought him for our first anniversary, A BOOK OF SEX POSITIONS FOR EACH DAY OF THE YEAR.

 

Yeah. Totally no intimacy here.

 

And yes, to add to this, married people also masturbate, and a lot do that together, without the "need" to use porn to achieve anything.  It's called trust and intimacy.

 

Real trust is being able to look at something like porn and feel confident that your spouse isn't going to cheat on you. It's also being able to look at porn together and trust eachother to not leave eachother for a porn star. It's also being able to balance sex with eachother and masturbation with or without porn.

 

 

Quote From: redfeathers

That is what pornography is for Turklurk, it is specifically designed to do this.  There is no misunderstanding of your words.  Think about it turk, when you watch porn, when couples watch porn it IS designed to be the instrument that enables them to get excited, aroused.  Porn is for that purpose.  

 

How many people do you know who pop in the old porn flick for purely entertainment?  Basically none, because it's not entertaining, other than for it's purpose of setting up arousel there is no purpose.

 

That is exactly why I believe the way I do for those who use porn.  They are either to lazy in their own lives to create their own sexual excitement with their partners.  Or they are purely bored stiff with their own sex life...which nine times out of ten is their own fault.

 

Oh, by the way, yeah, I HAVE watched porn purely for entertainment. My boyfriend and I BOTH. Oh YEAH! And three of his friends.

 

We were all at his friends house and decided to watch an HBO porn because the title sounded funny. Guess what? It was a crackup. We laughed at the bad acting, the bad effects, and the fake boobs.

 

So there you have it. Five people that have watched porn for entertainment.

Quote From: passiton2

You are most definitly in the MOST committed relationship there will ever be on the face of the earth...the whole 2 years of it.

 

Like I said, your drawing pictures is so cute.  I did not say your boyfriend WILL cheat on you.  Relax.  When you two are viewing porn, your are the only thing on his mind.  He's blind to the pictures of others having sex,  after all it's YOU in the room with him, now in his 'mind' that's a whole different picture, but you are still there, right there.  No problem, got it.  You are committed. So is he.

 

Just as committed as my boyfriend of two years when I was eighteen too.   But then again I didn't marry him, he went his way, I went mine.  And we are all grown up now and happy I am sure.  

 

Geeez Whiz, I have a grin, when I think of this stuff.  Being married as long as I have, I , nor my husband didn't even think of toys, lubricants and all this stuff.   We DID NOT NEED THEM.  Wow, and only after two years!!!  I don't know, call me niave, I just always thought this stuff got incorporated into a sex life after a while into it, not just the beginning of it.  BUT, that is just my thoughts, maybe not yours.  And that's ok, really, it is.  What ever floats your boat!

 

like I said, talk to me in a few several years from now, when this gets further than the beginning of the relationship. 

Quote From: redfeathers

We aren't 18. We're both about to turn 21.

 

Geeez Whiz, I have a grin, when I think of this stuff.  Being married as long as I have, I , nor my husband didn't even think of toys, lubricants and all this stuff.   We DID NOT NEED THEM.  Wow, and only after two years!!!  I don't know, call me niave, I just always thought this stuff got incorporated into a sex life after a while into it, not just the beginning of it.  BUT, that is just my thoughts, maybe not yours.  And that's ok, really, it is.  What ever floats your boat!

 

Wow...you don't use lubricant? ...Do you know anything about sexual health at all? You do know that not using lubricant can cause abrasions on the vaginal wall that can cause small infections right?

 

And yeah, you would be naive to assume that stuff like that only comes into a relationship later after marriage....seriously.

 

Okay. I'm going to have to agree with Turk that something really bad happened to you concerning porn, or you were just raised reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally strictly or reaaaaaaallly sheltered with not a whole lot of information about sex.  I could be wrong, but it seems to me that you have really, really specific ideas of what a relationship should be, but don't like it when someone else is different than those standards and ideas. That's fine for you to have your standards and adhere to them as you will, but you really shouldn't, and can't, expect everyone else to know and follow those standards as well.

 

There are some situations in which porn can be bad, I don't deny that, that's what we have the other porn thread for. But you cannot just assume that's the case with EVERY relationship all the time. Or in every instance that porn comes up. I myself have boundaries when it comes to porn.

 

I am okay with it when:

 

1) A couple enjoys it together with eachother, but still has a fulfilling sex life without it. (Like my boyfriend and I).

2) A boyfriend (or girlfriend, cause women look at it too) looks at it without the other person minding. As long as the other party is not hurt and doesn't care that they do.

3) When a husband wife/boyfriend girlfriend takes pictures of eachother for eachother.

4) When a single person uses it from time to time in moderation with self control. (I know that might seem outlandish to you, but it's possible and common.)

 

I am NOT okay with it when:

1) A couple cannot have sex without it.

2)A boyfriend or gf looks at it and the other person DOES mind it.

3)When a person gets addicted to it and blocks out more important things like work, friends, etc.

4) When someone cannot have a real relationship because they hold real people to the standards of a porn star.

 

I'm not going about saying that porn is just the greatest thing ever, I'm saying that it's not as bad as you are saying it is. I'm betting that some of the people talking to you here are trying to get you to realize that as well, and would like to you humble yourself a little and admit that you are wrong about some things you are saying. I think the conversations here with you would go a lot smoother and there would be more room for actual discussion rather than argument.

 

 

Quote From: passiton2

Your take on sex is just fine for you.  As far as using lubricants, you are terribley misinformed.  Lubricants, yes are necessary if you cannot produce the normal lubricants that your vaginal area is perfectly capable of producing on it's own when sexually aroused.  Most lubricants are helpful when hormones are unbalanced or if a woman is menopausal stages.    Or if there is some unhealthy vaginal enviroment due to illness or medications.   A LOT of lubricants are purely for smell or even tastes and are not always very healthy because they can upset the natural bacterial enviroment that the vagina has of it's own.

 

The vagina is perfectly capable of moistening with proper attention without any lubricant, especially at the tender age of 21, and no tearing or abrasions IF a women is properly brought to the point of excitement stages.

 

Now that's that on your lubricant rant.  

 

All the other stuff, I already stated, that yes I believe you and your boyfriend has it all going on for your relationship right now as it is.    That is not my argument with you.  What you believe is right for you for your age at this time in your life is typical and normal for you to feel this way today.  Years from now, I promise you that you will NOT always see things as you  do right now.  Thats is a certainty.   I was 21 before, you haven't been my age as of yet.   I know how you see things, and can totally relate.

 

However, that being said, you are not nor have you been in a long term committed relationship.  Nor have you completely been committed to by your boyfriend either.    There is something to be said for the respect of one's self, and a person's sexual relationship.   There is a level of respect that a man grows to have for his partner and that often comes with maturity.    That also often does not INCLUDE the invitation for his or your friends to be involved or sit around laughing about porn and thinking it's all fun.

 

Your picture drawing, again, how cute.   Mature, respectful of one another....it's not.   What you consider a great sex life, is your take on your experience.  That does not make you "all knowing" or able to look into any crystal ball and depend on what you think you see today or that it will always be gospel through out your life.  Because it won't be the same in years to come.  I assure you, things will and do change, and what you do today and how you present yourself to this man, all accepting of anything that goes, will also not be the wisest of things to do.  

 

You have no idea of how far porn use can take your relationship, nor do you understand the level that porn plays inside your boyfriends life.  You just plain do not know any of that.  And that is where my words will come back to replay in your head, and they should.    And it is also why you are extremely defensive of your sexual relationship instead of understanding my comments to the fullest or the intention.

 

Just to let you know, I have been married since the age of 21 to the same man.  I have two grow children and I have the most wonderful, exciting sexual relationship you can ever imagine with a man who adores me and I do him.  We have sex very very regularly, more often than you would believe.  How?  Because we are very into one another.   My husband and I do not entertain with porn, we are together, we have no need for porn.    And yes, at our ages, we know very much about "toys" and lubricants,  fantasy and all the rest.

 

You have a lot to learn.  I get that, and it's not an insult either.   I was 21 at one time as well.  And even though I thought at the time that I did know it all......life teaches us later on that we should have put more into learning rather than thinking we already know all there is to know in this life.

 

 

 

 

Quote From: turkalurk

You are responding to posts from the start of this topic which was a few years ago.  Those people will not be able to read your posts.  You should probably learn how to navigate the site properly before you begin posting.

Quote From: angel73681

I just started on this site, because I really enjoy some of Dr. Phil's show's. However when it comes to this message board I am a little confused and lost when it comes to posting on here. I am sorry and will be sure to try and pay more attention to the dates and times of these posts.

Thank you!