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Topic : Pornography

Number of Replies: 27679
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:18:48 pm
Author : dataimport

Good or bad, does porn play a part in your life? Talk about it here.


For support, please visit the How Porn Has Hurt Our Relationship message board.

 

Please note: While a mature discussion about pornography is the purpose of this board, any posts that are attacking towards another poster, or are too graphic in nature, will be removed at the moderators' discretion.



As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

July 26, 2005, 6:11 pm CDT

donna just in case you missed it

The board is reallllllllly messed up!!!!!! someone please change things back to the way they were!!!!!!!
 
July 26, 2005, 8:20 pm CDT

Lilacmess

Wow.  I was blown away by your last post.  You offer him these other favors that damn straight every male would want, and he'll roll over and go to sleep with an erection?  He doesn't need Viagra, he needs counseling!  I'm beginning to suspect that it is either an over abundance of stress being placed upon him or he may have hormonal issues.  You're way too young to have to be settling for this way of life.  He should seek therapy for YOUR sake, if anything!  No woman should have to live this way because her marital partner is at odds with his libido.  With such an aggressive woman as yourself, and he looked at porn? Hmm.  Perhaps he likes the 'safeness' of how he felt with looking and masturbating (if he did do that) to the porn.  In porn, women do not reject you, do not proposition you unless you will it, and basically, anything goes.  You indicated he did stop and that when he's 'in the mood', he can get hard in an instant.  My ass!!!  He should get hard whether his leg has just been sawed off lol or whatever ELSE ails him!  I've been less than 5 hrs. out of appendix surgery and wanted to get busy with my wife my first few hours home LOL.  There's something else at play here.  I can't put my finger on it - but there's either something you're not telling me....or, there's something amiss in his excuses (him having to be 'in the mood')...

While I may never know what is 'amiss', I can tell you this...he's shortchanging you and your needs/desires!  If you can live this way, wonderful for you both.  If not, he had better take steps to repair it before you begin to resent him!   

 
July 26, 2005, 8:26 pm CDT

Washappy

I don't think you're being unreasonable!  But, you might be a little bit paranoid, which is understandable.  What he has is a middle-aged crush on a beautiful goddess-like model lol.  He'll get over it!  In a few months, he'll be, "Heidi Who? (Klum)" hehe        At least 10 or more times in a man's adult (30's +) life, he'll develop an unimaginable crush on either a hollywood starlet, a Victoria Secret model or a woman he sees in everyday life.  It's inevitable and lasts only temporarily.  Now, if five years later he's STILL rooting around in this lingerie model's website...then he has some issues lol!  Advise counseling for him if this happens.  Otherwise, take a deep breath, exhale and then go about your day.  If he's still with you, treating you right and making love to you as much as you can stand it - then everythiing's ok!  Don't read into something that isn't there! ;) 

 
July 26, 2005, 8:48 pm CDT

damn straight

Quote From: sandman4u

Wow. I was blown away by your last post. You offer him these other favors that damn straight every male would want, and he'll roll over and go to sleep with an erection? He doesn't need Viagra, he needs counseling! I'm beginning to suspect that it is either an over abundance of stress being placed upon him or he may have hormonal issues. You're way too young to have to be settling for this way of life. He shouldseek therapy for YOUR sake, if anything! No woman should have to live this waybecause her marital partner is at odds withhis libido. With such an aggressive woman as yourself, and he looked at porn? Hmm. Perhaps he likes the 'safeness' of how he felt with looking and masturbating (if he did do that) to the porn. In porn, women do not reject you, do not proposition you unless you will it, and basically, anything goes. You indicated he did stop and that when he's 'in the mood', he can get hardin an instant. My ass!!! He should get hard whether his leg has just been sawed off lol or whatever ELSE ails him!I've been less than5hrs. out ofappendix surgery and wanted toget busy with my wife my first few hours home LOL. There's something else at play here. I can't put my finger on it - but there's either something you're not telling me....or, there's something amiss in hisexcuses (him having to be 'in the mood')...

While I may never know what is 'amiss', I can tell you this...he's shortchanging you and your needs/desires! If you can live this way, wonderful for you both. If not,he had better take steps to repair it before you begin to resent him!

I have often wondered if my high sex drive threatens him or turns him off. I do think he has some issues with thinking that women who have high sex drives are whores. He has told me many times that, while he's all for being sexually adventurous together, he would never want me to "act like a whore." To tell you the truth, I'm not even sure what that means. But any show of sexual aggressiveness from me certainly does seem to turn him off. He seems to prefer that I pretend to be disinterested until, of course, things get going. Then I'm allowed to show interest. He's even said before that he feels sometimes like a sexual object, like all I want from him is sex and that it really has nothing to do with me loving him or being attracted to him. Talk about turning the tables. I appreciate your concern, sandman, but there's really no need. I've accepted the imperfections of our sexual relationship and weighed them against the whole picture. He is definitely worth the little blows to my ego and the loss of sexual freedom I've experienced with him. Wanting it more just makes it all that much better when I do get it anyway. As for the job stress, I really do think that's what's amiss. And I accept it because I also know what it's like to be with a man who won't work hard enough to support even himself. I am an educated professional and I work my ass off to earn a good enough living that I don't need a man to support me. If my husband didn't work just as hard as me, I would lose respect for him. The truth is, he works harder and, as he says, he does it all for me, for us, and for our family. He's the only man I've ever known who is as honorable as my father. I'm keeping him.  

 
July 26, 2005, 9:02 pm CDT

As I've said earlier...

...if you can live with this (and it looks like you have been and want to), then this is good for the both of you!  His sexual outlook regarding his wife being the aggressor is very eccentric and I wonder if this man knows what he's depriving his wife of and how much he's missing out on!  I have to get up early tomorrow morning.  Good night all
 
July 26, 2005, 9:36 pm CDT

What the heck happened here

I am really shocked!!! I've tried relentlessly to get to the last post here....and it keeps on taking me to some date of July 23rd.

 

This format is like something out of the stone ages.  What a waste of good space...ooops sorry, here I am complaining already.

 

So how is everyone.  I thought I saw Allinall. Great to see you.  And so hows ole' Kimmi poo?

 

When I find more time, or at least figure this mess out, maybe we can all post again.  Blesses everyone! Luvmiman

 
July 26, 2005, 9:49 pm CDT

Hi luvmiman

Quote From: luvmiman1

I am really shocked!!! I've tried relentlessly to get to the last post here....and it keeps on taking me to some date of July 23rd.

This format is like something out of the stone ages. What a waste of good space...ooops sorry, here I am complaining already.

So how is everyone. I thought I saw Allinall. Great to see you. And so hows ole' Kimmi poo?

When I find more time, or at least figure this mess out, maybe we can all post again. Blesses everyone! Luvmiman

Don't worry. We've all been complaining for days. Good to see you though.
 
July 26, 2005, 10:23 pm CDT

hi darcy!

Quote From: darcylove

I think he has come up with a way to justify this behavior. It is like...."feel sorry for me....I have been serving in the military so can't you just grant me this one thing?" It is great what he is doing for his country. But it is not an excuse to use porn in a marriage. I don't care if he is in Michigan, Texas, Canada, Japan, or Iraq.....he is still a married man and he needs to honor his marriage.

I saw that Dr Phil's show tomorrow is suppose to talk to a man who uses porn. I think the man in this episode is addicted to it. I think it would be good to watch it. Maybe tape it and share it with your husband. Maybe he needs to hear the message from someone else. Good luck and I wish you the best.

   I just read your msg! I missed the show. I wonder when they'll show that again. I really want him to see it. And I think he should. I wanna show my husband your message so he'd see and realize that what he is doing is not right but i don't know...  I'll probably try to wait for the right time then i'll say something about it-again! Sometimes it seems like I just keep repeating myself. Anyway thank you so much for your reply. It kind'a made me really wanna make sure to stand up all the time and make sure he respects our marriage. thank you again!
 
July 26, 2005, 10:30 pm CDT

cjenteb

Quote From: cjenteb

I just read your msg! I missed the show. I wonder when they'll show that again. I really want him to see it. And I think he should. I wanna show my husband your message so he'd see and realize that what he is doing is not right but i don't know... I'll probably try to wait for the right timethen i'llsay something about it-again! Sometimes it seems like I just keep repeating myself. Anyway thank you so much for your reply. It kind'a made me really wanna make sure to stand up all the time and make sure he respects our marriage. thank you again!
I doubt we'll see the episode again because this has already  been the second time Dr. Phil has aired it. However, there is a very lively discussion going on about it right now on the current message board dedicated to the episode. You might want to check out some of the posts there and read the summary of the show. Good luck.
 
July 27, 2005, 4:05 am CDT

Hey Ho Luvi!

Quote From: luvmiman1

I am really shocked!!! I've tried relentlessly to get to the last post here....and it keeps on taking me to some date of July 23rd.

This format is like something out of the stone ages. What a waste of good space...ooops sorry, here I am complaining already.

So how is everyone. I thought I saw Allinall. Great to see you. And so hows ole' Kimmi poo?

When I find more time, or at least figure this mess out, maybe we can all post again. Blesses everyone! Luvmiman

How are you? This morning I noticed that the post you are responding to is now above your own script. It is kind of wierd. Who is the one creating this new web page? I am sure they are wondering how it is doing. But then again, it's what we get used to and when something changes or is unfamiliar we get sidetracked. But I think it is a good thing because it causes you think differently, if you think about it!!! I really liked that you called me "kimmy poo". My dad used to call me "kimmy boo" and it always sounded like it was kimmy poo. How cute is that? I am glad that we are back and let's hope to help some people, ok? So, how are things with ya? You are sounding as spunky as ever! Take care. Kimmy poo/boo.
 
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