Topic : Pornography

sup·ple·ment     (spl-mnt)
n.

1. Something added to complete a thing, make up for a deficiency, or extend or strengthen the whole

The key word here is OR. 

  

Porn can be used as a supplement to extend or strengthen (supplement)  your sex life. Some people just don't want to limit their sex lives. If both parties agree, it is not a deception and not an infidelity.  

  

For a long time now I have read posts that insinuate that something must be "wrong" with a sex life that "requires" porn. I do understand that if we NEEDED porn, that would be troubling.  But some of us CHOOSE to use porn TO EXTEND (supplement) our sex life.  

  

For those of you that cannot understand, oh well. Get over it! You cannot make generalizations about what "should" be taking place in the bedroom of a married couple.  

  

ask them to do a full investigation of this person's medical/therapy and medication history. 

  

He told her he feels these violent tendencies coming back...He told her he hears voices....and can't remember things he's done. 

  

YOU go with HER and report it to the school authorities, not just any one...but someone who HAS to document your complaint and follow through with this.....expect, demand, that YOU are given a full account of what they intend on doing with this.  IF this story is true about his mental problems...they should be able to find out and then decide the best way of dealing with this. 

  

SHE shouldn't have to leave school or come home...it is HIM that needs to leave the school. 

  

She should stay as far away from him as possible.  Tell her to NEVER be alone on campus...like at night or in hall ways...always have a friend with her.  She should be nice with "hello...gotta run no.." from across the way...but never EVER have a private conversation with him....it's giving HIM the wrong idea...even if she isn't intentionally...in HIS mind she is being NICE and being HIS friend and he is taking it totally to far. 

  

I wouldn't play games with this....OR make this out to be worse than it is either..for your daughter's sake. If it is what it is.....then I (YOU) would do something like contact the school immediately, by phone, in person, and in writing. 

  

Luv~ 

make up for a deficiency,......to MAKE UP A DEFICIENCY 

 

DEFICIENT....MEANS LACK, INADEQUATE AMOUNT OF, NEGATIVE, not enough of, to the lesser of, meaning not enough.  

  

That pretty much sums up the reason porn is used, alright.  It's also why it's used in married couples marriages as well. 

  

Luv~ 

Do you think that this is a creepy way for this guy to keep talking and seeing your daughter?  Like he is saying all of this so she feels sorry for him and stays close by to him, kind of like to make sure he doesnt do anything stupid.   

  

I just find it hard to believe that he has gone to college for 4 years, past all of those years, and now all of a sudden he is having these attacks.  I am not a doctor, but I dont think this would be something that you can just fix.  To me it sounds kind of fishy. 

  

But if your daughter is feeling scared I would talk to the RA.  I think her safety and everyone else's safety is more of a concern, then betraying this guys trust. 

 An R.A. is no one other than another student that has some authority on the floor. Not usually any experience in how to handle such matters. Tell your daughter to go to a College authority (Security, Dean, Student Advocate) someone with REAL authority. Have her explain what he told her and she feels the need for caution. Not to appraoch this is a panic manner. Just her belief there is need for concern.

Have her tell them he has admitted to a documented history of this type of behavior.

If she gets an answer that sounds like they don't think it's anything to be concerned about, go to another. If still nothing, go to the local police.

Just tell her to appraoch this in such a manner that there needs to a level of concerned awareness. Maybe he's making this up and maybe he's not.

I would definitely take this as a warning.

"CHEATING IS WRONG....AND INDULGING IN PORN IS A FORM OF ADULTERY." 

  

And men would never HAVE TO resort IF....just do their wifely DUTIES.....(I am laughing now....this is good stuff Jim)..... 

  

Jim, Jim, Jim,......didn't anyone ever really talk to you about women and sex?  See this is the kind of thing that really messes up people's sex lives...too much of this depending on someone else to "DO" whatever it takes to make you happy...including in sex.  When the fact is some people just don't know what the other wants.  And porn sure isn't showing anyone anything about the realities of sex...not with real people.  And the other problem with this statement is that if YOU treat and think of sex as a "DUTY" FOR A WOMEN...then it's very likely that you TREAT her like she's an employee of sex, rather than an equally deserving parnter to recieve the pleasure part of your ( and hers')  sexual experience.  This is one huge reason why some women do shut down and won't get into real experimentation with their partners...hence...the reason YOU would say men get into porn.  

  

See it's a vicious cycle...one not knowing how to approach sex....the other getting the feeling that it's some kind of "job" to have sex.  In other words..."just do what we want"..."the way we want it"....sorry Jim but this makes for a very lonely sex life after so long.  Because sex is a two way street.....unlike you see inside the porn star's eyes...real women want just as much as YOU want her to be the pleasuring factor for you, for herself.   

  

A woman who is really honestly pleasured by a man during sex....will be more than ready and willing to do the pleasuring TO you , FOR you as well.  If she's not this way....then HER experience with sex is very likely not exactly what you think might be curling her toe nails either.  To put it bluntly....a woman who is really "into" sex and is pleased having sex then the sexual experience is something she looks forward to expanding on. 

  

I know men don't like to hear this.....but men have a great deal of power and ability to "bring" this out in a woman.....they are being mislead as to how this works. 

  

See with some women, they don't miss something or desire to make it better, or have the need to put anything into "it"...if it's something they truly could live without because it is nothing spectacular about "it" to them to begin with......exactly the same thing you might say about your own "real" sexual experience....and therefore having to turn to porn to supplement it.  That's the vicious cycle and it only gets worse...unless the same expectation you place on yourself surpass what you put on your partner....THEN and only then will this change for you. 

  

Luv~ 

I think she said that this is his first year at her college. He is a transfer student (orginally went close to him to school). 

  

I remembered that when we first visited the college.....there was an advisor in her department that told us parents to call the department at any time we had any concerns. So I picked up the phone and made the call. I spoke to an advisor and she called the head of the counseling center to figure out what I or my daughter could do. 

  

They are sending me an email with some resources for my daughter to use. SHe is suppose to call or visit the counseling center and share with them the things he told her. They thought they need to equip her with information so that she can point him in the right direction for help. 

  

We have discussed the possibility that he is attention seeking but I would think he wouldn't do it by telling her that he is violent. But who knows...either way...it needs addressed. 

  

She also says that her roommate and her were going to see what the r.a could tell them to do. However....allinall is right....the r.a. is another student however....they probably would have sent her to the counseling center also. THey also probably would have to report something like this because this young man lives in the same building (same floor as my daughter). 

  

SO....I got the ball rolling. I feel a little better now but will feel much better when the CHristmas break starts after next weeks finals. I am just ready for my baby to be home close to me where i can protect her. (this mommy is really having a hard time letter her be in these dangerous situations...what mom wouldn't...LOL) 

  

so....that's were it all stands right now. 

porn is used as a sexual supplement you said.  Isn't that what a person who is having an affair doing too? 

  

and I do believe that even dr phil will say that porn is cheating! it is seeking sex outside the relaitonship so yes....the same thing! Both are cheating..you may not recognize it as that because you don't want to be identified as a cheater.  It is how you justify what you are doing is okay.