Topic : Pornography

I'm thinking one day I'll outgrow it (porn).  That I'll become bored with it because I'm having such a kick-ass sexual relationship with my wife.  Or, maybe I won't ever become bored with it because I may not be having the kick-ass sexual relationship with my wife that I want to have.  To all the ladies:  Men don't always look at porn to masturbate and come.  Sometimes we watch porn just because it produces such a euphoric mental (and umm physical) high.  It's absolutely so enjoyable to look at because the womens bodies are so beautiful and so sexy as are some of their faces.   

Personally, most of the times that I use porn, I have no intention of masturbating.  I just watch it so I can feel that high that I get when I see these girls looking so awesome and doing things that make them look so sexy.....and the way that it arouses me instantaneously.  Also because it's main purpose is to arouse me is arousing in itself.  Other times, I use it because I want to follow through with my arousal.  When marriages are good (lots of sex going on, love, affection and spouses are fit and attractive), then most men would want to become aroused by and follow through their arousal with their wives, who are real and not a video. 

But when marriages are not good (barely or no sex going on, lukewarm love, no affection and spouses aren't attractive or fit), then most men would rather NOT become aroused by their wives because their attitude about sex sucks, they have something about them that is a turn off or they're out of shape; and most would rather not follow through their arousal with their wives because of a) their attitude b) they don't make themselves available or c) they may be unattractive or unsexy.  In any (or all) of these instances, most men go to porn to follow through with their arousals to enjoy having orgasms that stimulate their minds, their bodies and their fantasies.  That is not to say that wives can't do this for their husbands, because they can - if they really wanted to.  Unfortunately though, most don't.  They expect us to fulfill our part of the bargain (marriage) and yet some do not fulfill theirs. 

Warning: A wife who isn't enthusiastic about regular, hot sex with her husband is a woman who dangerously pushes her husband towards actions or situations that she may find objectionable or offensive.           

So if for instance my husband is the "bread winner" and I am the home maker....or domestic goddess, as I like to call it.   Not that this has anything to do with this other than right now he's the primary supporter of the house.  But say, for instance, that I have a real shopping problem.  It's NOT a problem for me, or his income to handle, but he doesn't "approve of" my spending.  And because I have some "savings" of my own, I choose to spend that savings on my shopping slurges.  Say this irritates him a lot, because my purchases are mostly for me or the house and I just don't "ask" for his approval on these purchases.  So I keep doing this, inspite of his dislike of it.....is this his perception that this is wrong?  Is this his "fear" that I might spend all the savings that I previously saved out of my own paychecks?  What does that "fear" come from....fear that since his current income just covers the bills and that me spending "MY" savings could potentially hinder our (his) retirement?  

If I didn't care about his concerns or maybe just "listened" to his concerns but did nothing to stop my endless shopping.....should this continue to bother him?  Even if in reality this doesnt' affect anything in my opinion?   

Another scenario....say for instance that a wife likes her big enormous dildo and she liked this so much that she started to turn him down for sex...claiming to be too tired....or to involved with other things...only for him to find out later, quit by accident, that she's really been using this huge dildo for months on end...almost nightly.  Would his "concern" be more about "his perception" of what this is really about....could it be that she got so "hooked on" the big one ( oh my_)... And his concerns that HE no longer pleased her sexually are unfounded, because when they do have sex, however rarely...she's "seemingly" pleased with him?  Then say she found it a lot less "messy" to please herself rather than to waste the energy on him.....could this become a "fear" of his that he is no longer a desire of hers..because the dildo use privately was far more fulfilling than he is.  Perhaps he would develope the fear that maybe he's not lasting as long as he used to....and this too becomes a concern...even though it's only really in his head and not something she has said to him???  

And should he one day voice his opinion of this...should she just say to him...that his "fears" are unjustified, almost rediculous and that this is just his perception of what is happening...it's in his mind only and that she really doesn't care about his thoughts on it.  After wall it's her body and her dildo and she should be able to do what she wants no matter how it affects him?   

All these "things" can become "fears" out of someone perception of what is taking place....and from what I gather you are saying that we, as couples, married people...should just not care or be concerned with how the choices we make affect another human being, much less our marriage partners.... 

Hummm, maybe lesbians have something....and it's starting to make some sense here. LOL 

Luv 

LAWYERS FOR THE PORN INDUSTRY ARE GEERING UP TO FIGHT THE NEWEST REGULATIONS THAT THE GOVERNMENT IS VOTING INTO LAW..... 

The reason is this law would require (law 2257) that the entire porn industry would actually be required to do record keeping on all adult entertainment workers.  These stats would include AGE< BIRTH RECORD< Names and alias's to PREVENT THE UP TO 10 MILLION CHILD ACTORS BEING EXPOITED inside the ADULT ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY TODAY.  That means UNDER AGE people folks. 

The porn industries main argument (I love this one)....THE COST IT WOULD TAKE TO RECORD KEEP AND KEEP UP WITH THIS INFORMATION even though it's to protect CHILDREN.  They (porn lawyers) have said it's NOT THE PORN INDUSTRIES' JOB to enforce whether or not YOUNG UNDER AGE GIRLS get into porn or not. 

Luv  Nice ugh????? 

I have a question for you, because I was driving this weekend and I was thinking about my past relationship and I realized that when porn was there, I never felt bad about myself, because heck I know I am good looking, what I started to question was him.  I started to see him in a different light, not me.  I started to see him as someone that wasnt at all like me.  Even though I was in my early 20s and so was he it didnt stop me thinking about what really would stop him for looking at someone younger then the so called legal age, even though the US truly has no way to monitor what comes into the US etc etc etc, even though people are naive to think they can monitor everything.  I started to see him as someone that didnt respect women.  The only time I questioned myself, was why I was stupid enough to be with someone that was like that.  That if we had such a wonderful open relationship, then he would have been able to tell me anything, but that wasnt the case.  That was the only time I questioned me and that was more along the lines of what the heck was I thinking. 

So my question is, are you truly questioning how you look or is there something more to it?  It took me awhile to realize that, but things that come into your head when you have to drive for a long time. 

Not sure how this works now. Guess we'll all learn together! Welcome back!

So if for instance my husband is the "bread winner" and I am the home maker....or domestic goddess, as I like to call it.   Not that this has anything to do with this other than right now he's the primary supporter of the house.  But say, for instance, that I have a real shopping problem.  It's NOT a problem for me, or his income to handle, but he doesn't "approve of" my spending.  And because I have some "savings" of my own, I choose to spend that savings on my shopping slurges.  Say this irritates him a lot, because my purchases are mostly for me or the house and I just don't "ask" for his approval on these purchases.  So I keep doing this, inspite of his dislike of it.....is this his perception that this is wrong?  Is this his "fear" that I might spend all the savings that I previously saved out of my own paychecks?  What does that "fear" come from....fear that since his current income just covers the bills and that me spending "MY" savings could potentially hinder our (his) retirement?  

If I didn't care about his concerns or maybe just "listened" to his concerns but did nothing to stop my endless shopping.....should this continue to bother him?  Even if in reality this doesnt' affect anything in my opinion?   

Another scenario....say for instance that a wife likes her big enormous dildo and she liked this so much that she started to turn him down for sex...claiming to be too tired....or to involved with other things...only for him to find out later, quit by accident, that she's really been using this huge dildo for months on end...almost nightly.  Would his "concern" be more about "his perception" of what this is really about....could it be that she got so "hooked on" the big one ( oh my_)... And his concerns that HE no longer pleased her sexually are unfounded, because when they do have sex, however rarely...she's "seemingly" pleased with him?  Then say she found it a lot less "messy" to please herself rather than to waste the energy on him.....could this become a "fear" of his that he is no longer a desire of hers..because the dildo use privately was far more fulfilling than he is.  Perhaps he would develope the fear that maybe he's not lasting as long as he used to....and this too becomes a concern...even though it's only really in his head and not something she has said to him???  

And should he one day voice his opinion of this...should she just say to him...that his "fears" are unjustified, almost rediculous and that this is just his perception of what is happening...it's in his mind only and that she really doesn't care about his thoughts on it.  After wall it's her body and her dildo and she should be able to do what she wants no matter how it affects him?   

All these "things" can become "fears" out of someone perception of what is taking place....and from what I gather you are saying that we, as couples, married people...should just not care or be concerned with how the choices we make affect another human being, much less our marriage partners.... 

Hummm, maybe lesbians have something....and it's starting to make some sense here. LOL 

Luv 

hi, everyone, new to the board.  i will try to get this right.  i have been married for 7 years and been with my husband 11 years and have a 5 year old daughter.  when i met my husband he used to go to strip bars with his friends and watch porn all the time, but after we moved in together he basically stopped going out to the strip clubs or would ask my permission and would respect it if i said no.  but my husband has a unbelievable  collection of porn tapes i would say about 500 or so and he has it on the computer too.  he can not sit down at a computer with out looking at it.  but i am having great difficulty with the mastubation part.  he does it all the time, at night, when i am at work, then i catch him.  I have asked him why, and said he is sorry it hurts me but it should not. it hurts me and belittles me to no point.  he says he can't stop and i should not be upset.  but i can't do this any more.  i am not against porn, but i do belive if a man is going to watch it, it should be with his wife and sex between the both of us is great on both ends he says.  but he also says he is very sexually driven and if he is horny he should be able to pleasure himself anytime.  i need some advice, please help?  ready to wash my hands of this awfull cheating habit.  am i worng should i be more understandable? 

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