Topic : Pornography

are out of proportion with reality. I mean......should a married man still expect to have every women on this planet at his beck and call? Or any man for that matter?

I mean was I (and every other women) put on this Earth so that EVERY man could have access to me any time they feel the urge to release themselves? Should we (women) be required to post our pictures on the net so that ALL men everywhere can peak if they so choose?

I find it funny that every time a man goes finds porn.......there comes this plea of "Well he had to because he wasn't getting his needs met." HIS NEEDS MET? What if his needs are not able to be met or what if his needs are disproportion to reality?

What I think is MOST of the time the men who are using porn....they want their cake and everyone else's too. It isn't about needs....but about wants that they feel entitled to. Doesn't matter if their wives are having sex with them every day. Doesn't matter if their wife is a perfect 10. Doesn't matter if she hangs from the ceiling fan and can wrap her legs twice around him. He is going to WANT (not need) more because he feels he is entitled to it. Porn has it's way of doing this. It is called "PORN ADDICTION." and the addict will justify his porn however he can. He will call it 'needs" and will claim his 'needs' are not being met. And place blame on whomever comes along. And honestly I can't believe they are still trying to sell us that notion and that so many are buying into it.

NEVER HAS SOME EVER TAKEN RESPONSIBILITY FOR THIE OWN ISSUES. INSTEAD...they say things like "If a women gets' emtional...blah blah blah" and "If a man uses porn his needs....BLAH BLAH BLAH!"

Heck I don't EVER remember any post where you have said "wow did I mess up" or "wow could I use help on this one" or "I have not been very good husband with this or that." NOPE...doesn't exist.

Instead we have BLAH BLAH BLAH...BLAME HER...BLAME EMOTIONS...BLAME WHOMEVER I CAN WHEN I AM IN HOT WATER..."

Quite honestly allinall if you think you help anyone here with your "DUCK FOR COVER" or "HIS NEEDS AREN"T BEING MET" you are kidding yourself.

there is NO WOMEN who has come here upset about porn....that hasn't already looked to herself a million times. BUt if it makes you feel better....why not let her put blame on herself again.

What I don't understand is if you have all these issues with women (or those in your life) why not take it up with them? (or is it the women in your life won't listen beause  you say things like "DUCK FOR COVER")

After a while, men believe that women ARE solely put here for their sexual pleasures but since they will pay hefty $$$$ for it, it justifies their behaviors. The only problem is they don't realize that not all women are like that and you can't buy sex.....not even from your wife. Hard concept for many I am sure.

I think the reason we (you, I and some others) have a problem (for lack of a better word for it) with sexual abuse is because we see that it has so much potential to cause really big problems for couples. Yes. Alcohol every day can also become an addiction, even that one little glass of wine with dinner....every day? Anything taken out of moderation has potential to destroy everything in its path. Unfortunately, men don't want to fess up and acknowledge that their behaviors are primative and obsolete. Even though women are making as much money as men now, women are the ones in power. Actually, women have been feared and hated by men, which is why they constantly put us up against this wall. They want to keep us down and helpless. But we are not going to let that happen and we some of us are a little more stronger then other women - and men can't stand it.

So what they will do is make it seem like we are being ridiculous, out of limits, pushy, non forgiving, non-understanding. People use whatever works and they know women have soft spots with room for a lot of compassion, trying to understand, peace keepers, and they take full advantage of that. But unfortunately for them, they may be able to fool the nearest idiot at the strip joint (which by the way is not such as idiot since they are taking hard earned money from these losers) but because they are getting what they want, they think we are the fools. Eh. Its all too simple really and the one thing I found out from all these years on this board (OMG....years???) feels like it sometimes.....is that the one that is battling to change things is usually the one that is on the right track and its the one that insists on things staying the same that is the fool. I feel really sorry for some of these guys but I still feel sorrier (sp.?) for the gals that have to play the game because they still have faith in coupleness.

After a while, men believe that women ARE solely put here for their sexual pleasures but since they will pay hefty $$$$ for it, it justifies their behaviors. The only problem is they don't realize that not all women are like that and you can't buy sex.....not even from your wife. Hard concept for many I am sure.

I think the reason we (you, I and some others) have a problem (for lack of a better word for it) with sexual abuse is because we see that it has so much potential to cause really big problems for couples. Yes. Alcohol every day can also become an addiction, even that one little glass of wine with dinner....every day? Anything taken out of moderation has potential to destroy everything in its path. Unfortunately, men don't want to fess up and acknowledge that their behaviors are primative and obsolete. Even though women are making as much money as men now, women are the ones in power. Actually, women have been feared and hated by men, which is why they constantly put us up against this wall. They want to keep us down and helpless. But we are not going to let that happen and we some of us are a little more stronger then other women - and men can't stand it.

So what they will do is make it seem like we are being ridiculous, out of limits, pushy, non forgiving, non-understanding. People use whatever works and they know women have soft spots with room for a lot of compassion, trying to understand, peace keepers, and they take full advantage of that. But unfortunately for them, they may be able to fool the nearest idiot at the strip joint (which by the way is not such as idiot since they are taking hard earned money from these losers) but because they are getting what they want, they think we are the fools. Eh. Its all too simple really and the one thing I found out from all these years on this board (OMG....years???) feels like it sometimes.....is that the one that is battling to change things is usually the one that is on the right track and its the one that insists on things staying the same that is the fool. I feel really sorry for some of these guys but I still feel sorrier (sp.?) for the gals that have to play the game because they still have faith in coupleness.

so I am not newlywed.

My parents have been married longer then me too. That sure doesn't make them good at it. My aunt was married for 28 years before they divorced. They were unhappy for about 27 1/2 years of it.

And my husband and i have not gone years of not getting along. Actually....there has been very little that we have fought about over the years. Yes there is the porn addiciton issue...but show me one marriage that doesn't have an issue.

And i would guess that since you aren't willing to 1. say whether or not your wife knows you come here and 2. share why the two of you are getting along better.....from that we can conclude plenty.

I never said I want someone else to blame. What I said is that I won't (nor should anyone else) take blame for something that is not theirs to own. I have plenty that I have neglected to be good at. And I will rightly step up and take responsibility for those things. But I won't take blame for not having sex a zillion times a day. I won't take blame for not having bigger breasts or longer legs. I won't take blame for not looking like a hooker or like the neighbor. I won't take blame for his addiction. And I won't start having you or anyone else blame me for it. Taking blame for something that is not your own issue is not going to change the issue but contribute to it.

And I won't blame men because they are men. NOr will I blame women because they are women.

And finally....If you have paid thousands and sought help and didn't find answers.....does that mean you stop paying thousands and stop seeking help and start using porn? Does that mean you dump and run but still expect the marriage to live happily ever after? If you want the marriage.....then by God you work at it...until death due you part. (and that does not include porn!) I can promise however that if you have this 1. blame her for my porn addiction and 2. duck when she gets emotional............not many women are going to be happy with you.

i have been busy here. Watching my nieces and of course shooting their pictures. I bought some new lights for a studio however sometimes I am able to get some pretty good stuff with natural light and a bit of digital work on photoshop. It helps they are too darn cute.

so how was your couple days away? Sounds to me you really enjoyed time for yourself. Maybe you need to take time for yourself for awhile and see how you feel about your marriage when you are free from it's troubles. Have you ever thought about taking a break from your marriage for a couple months and see where it gets you?

anyways...here's a picture from yesterday.