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Topic : Pornography
Good or bad, does porn play a part in your life? Talk about it here.
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October 8, 2006, 5:28 am PDT
 Quote From: luvmiman1 And if I could add to this a bit.....
This is not to say that the UNbalance doesn't happen from time to time through out a marriage.....because it most certainly does. There have been many many many times we both (my H and I ) have had to remind one another of this very wonderful difference in both of us. Just like now, these last several days in fact, I've had to be reminded that I am not "all" to everyone.....I just can't be. That dinner won't be one time, fixed every night....that the laundry won't get the usual ironing....and that I can't be in a perfect mood at all times. I am harder on me than anyone on this junk!!!!......AND I've had to remind my husband of 24 blissful years that he isn't here to "fix it all" for me too. That I should be able to "vent" to him and not expect to hear what I might have done wrong to create my own problems....(blah blah blah).......
It happens. It's going to happen in every relationship.....and even when you "think" you've resolved all this junk, the fact is......we as women become "nuturers" and want to sugar coat, stroke and make peace for everyone we love. Men want to be the providers, the fixers and make everything somewhat perfect for their families. God made us this way.....did HE make some horrible mistake in all this mess.....NO< we made the mistake of forgetting that these very attributes we bring into marriage are for a purpose, a reason,....and that is to support one another, be there when everyone else walks out on you.....love, even LIKE one another when we are very lovable or likable.
I think now, how much I miss my husband.....and how I've been so tired and complaining a lot lately about being tired....and I realize reading your message that I just wasted a lot of energy focusing on how "negative" life can be.....when I could have used that same energy on banging his brains out and we'd both be happier for it......
Thanks for the reminder......I think I'll ponder on this in a more positive manner. And see........you didn't even have to tell me how wrong I am. LOL....
There's still Saturday night........we have a chance still.
Luv You are right again, luv. I always agreee with you (LOL). Even "resolved" issues can return in a marraige, again and again. Your point was well taken. My response to that is that an issue must first be recognized before it can be discussed and (hopefully) resolved. As Dr. Phil sez, "you can't change what you don't acknowledge." Or if a spouse or partner is in denial about their behavior. That was the issue in my marriage that would not go away and eventually led to the death of my marriage. I was talking about this (denial) with my friend Nancy. She was married for 20 years to an alcoholic who also harbored a deep resentment of women (interestingly, her husband and mine became good friends too. They had a lot in common.) Of course, this dynamic was hidden at first, then slowly got worse with time. Just like my now-ex's addictions and issues with women. Nancy's ex and my ex were DEEP in denial. And, any good traits they possessed were, over time, overshadowed by their addictions and unresolved issues, which also got bigger and more ingrained. All the good traits they had were not enough to overcome the bad ones that eventually took over their lives and destroyed their marriages and families. mamajen's previous post sounded a lot like my marriage (although she is not married and I also believe it is NOT because they "have no money". IMO, with two kids already present, if they do want to get maried then just go to a J.P. and make it official. It's way past the time for a "real wedding and honeymoon." The cart was put before the horse, so to speak. ) mamajen's assertion that her bf is a "great guy" and a good dad may be valid at this point in time, But I will say that his "porn thing" will most certainly get worse over time, will probably lead him to more extreme behaviors regarding it, and the odds are that his children will be exposed to it and be damaged by it. In regards to your new job and such, I have a new job too and the demands on my time and energy are great. I no longer have a spouse or young children to consider anymore, so it is easier for me than for you in that respect. You may not know that I am flying to L.A. in two weeks to resolve the remaining financial issues regarding my divorce. My ex has ignored the settlement (denial again) and I must do this to get the closure I need. Wish me luck (I won't need it, though, it is what it is,) and I wish you the same. Take care, luv, it's good to hear from you and keep in touch. ~J~ P.S.- hope you had a "bangin" time last night (LOL)! |
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October 8, 2006, 6:48 am PDT
Quote From: mamajen21 K, first about the marriage part, we have been engaged for 4 years, we just don't have any money, he doesn't want a cheap wedding with no honeymoon. Secondly, his number of sexual partners is nothing to be proud of, it just gives him that many more girls to compare to me. And third, he's not looking to hook up for real, I think he was just expecting to get a few pix. But still, I'm not looking for excuses for him, but he's not as bad a guy as you may think. Oh, and I don't tolerate it, I call him on it every time I find out. I know if I let it slide then he will think it's o.k. He is a good guy, he's a great father, he's very patient, nurturing, and fun with the kids. He's a really hard worker, he's very smart, almost wise. He's a pretty nice guy and he makes friends quickly and easily. He has never once hit me or called me name, and he is mostly respectful of me. He takes care of me when I'm sick, and sometimes on Sunday he'll get up early with the kids and wake me up with breakfast.. The porn is the only ongoing problem we have. Right now, since I called him on it, I think we are gonna be o.k., I think he's finally got it, but I have thought that about 3 times now. He erased it from the history, but in the computers search engine I found it in the temporary internet files. I have been told that I have detective like qualities. The people who have told me to chill out have included his sister and my very own mom, they say that every guy looks at it anyway. Well, no they don't and I don't want a guy who looks at it. I have known other guy's who are against it. Those girls are somebody's mom, sister, daughter, I thought him having a daughter would make him think differently about it. Some of the girls are forced into it, or because of the sad reality that will get paid for being skanks. He'll be on the computer and these popups will come up with these girls with their lips puckered and their breasts hanging out, and I'll just start tearing up on the couch behind him because he just saw that, that's what sexy is suppossed to be nowadays, If these girls knew how much pain it caused others would they even feel bad?? And also, these are websites that kids could be at too, like limewire, or even in hotmail gets those popups, it's absolutely ridicules!!! It's tempting for guys, but one click and my heart is broken. And also, about my breast size, it does greatly affect me, I come to tears when I even think about some one else seeing them, like if the shirt I'm wearing goes down too far when I bend over, I would be absolutely mortified if any one saw them. I even wear a bra with my bathing suit, and never go swimming with friends, only my immediate family. No one understands unless they too spend an hour bra shopping to finally find one that isn't too big. Anyway, I should end this now cuz my bf is here and I don't want him reading this What's the sense in complaining about something you are so willing to excuse??? What's the sense in getting hurt over something you are so willing to defend for him? This is so typical, first that there is so much pain and agony over something so "unreal" in the first place, only to defend the very things that ALL men should be "good at".....for instance being the father to his kids....why is that such a attribute to him, when clearly that is what he should be with and for his children. Since when is being a faithful partner in your relationship worth "less" than him being a "good father" to his own children?
That's what I don't get.......has it ever occurred to you that the reason he is so wonderful in all these other areas is because he's got to be offering you something more in those areas.....because without him being "good" (almost overly good) is because he's so terrifically uncaring in the MOST important area of his relationship.......that being with you.
Let me tell you.....someday, the relationship he has with the WOMAN who is the mother of those kids will and should be the very foundation, the very thing that makes him a "good person, father, and man" in his own childrens' eyes. He will be the one who literally teaches those kids how to love and be loved as a man.....and porn, hitting on "real" connections with others right there living within 10 miles of his home (just to get pics)...right in front of you, even knowing full well how this hurts you and degrades this relationship......he is NOT a good partner. Point blank, he is not a good person to do this to you or anyone........and allow this to effect the woman he loves, the woman he's got children with.....
And no, the money thing does not wash either. I did it, millions do, they get married "cheap" and then follow up on the big deal wedding later along with honeymoons. Heck, for all you know, he's shopping right now for something different! He has no respect for you, period, he just doesn't. But if all those other qualities erase this in your mind....then by all means everyone who's been telling you to "chill out" about this......well, they are right. You should chill out.
Luv~ |
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October 8, 2006, 6:59 am PDT
Quote From: j_quantz You are right again, luv. I always agreee with you (LOL). Even "resolved" issues can return in a marraige, again and again. Your point was well taken. My response to that is that an issue must first be recognized before it can be discussed and (hopefully) resolved. As Dr. Phil sez, "you can't change what you don't acknowledge." Or if a spouse or partner is in denial about their behavior. That was the issue in my marriage that would not go away and eventually led to the death of my marriage. I was talking about this (denial) with my friend Nancy. She was married for 20 years to an alcoholic who also harbored a deep resentment of women (interestingly, her husband and mine became good friends too. They had a lot in common.) Of course, this dynamic was hidden at first, then slowly got worse with time. Just like my now-ex's addictions and issues with women. Nancy's ex and my ex were DEEP in denial. And, any good traits they possessed were, over time, overshadowed by their addictions and unresolved issues, which also got bigger and more ingrained. All the good traits they had were not enough to overcome the bad ones that eventually took over their lives and destroyed their marriages and families. mamajen's previous post sounded a lot like my marriage (although she is not married and I also believe it is NOT because they "have no money". IMO, with two kids already present, if they do want to get maried then just go to a J.P. and make it official. It's way past the time for a "real wedding and honeymoon." The cart was put before the horse, so to speak. ) mamajen's assertion that her bf is a "great guy" and a good dad may be valid at this point in time, But I will say that his "porn thing" will most certainly get worse over time, will probably lead him to more extreme behaviors regarding it, and the odds are that his children will be exposed to it and be damaged by it. In regards to your new job and such, I have a new job too and the demands on my time and energy are great. I no longer have a spouse or young children to consider anymore, so it is easier for me than for you in that respect. You may not know that I am flying to L.A. in two weeks to resolve the remaining financial issues regarding my divorce. My ex has ignored the settlement (denial again) and I must do this to get the closure I need. Wish me luck (I won't need it, though, it is what it is,) and I wish you the same. Take care, luv, it's good to hear from you and keep in touch. J P.S.- hope you had a "bangin" time last night (LOL)! I completely agree with you on this one.....seen it way too much these days.
The job thing....wow, this is the hardest job I've ever had....as far as being really a lot of learning and everything has to be exact in all that I do. There can be no mistakes of any kind....it's scarey in a way. I'm loving the learning, but it's truly a lot of energy used up in my day. There are times when I feel unsettled on whether I've made the right decision leaving my other job for this one. I know that this is a new career for me with tons of benefits for the near future. In other words, a lot is riding on my shoulders right now. So both mentally and physically, it's really taking a toll on me. I'll get through it, but it's going to take a lot of study and energy.
I do wish you luck with your settlement deal. It will work out, trust, have faith. All things work together for good.......
P.S. had a real good time last night.....we needed that. :)......and I woke up really late, he's still sleeping. LOL.....if that tells you anything.
Luv~ |
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October 8, 2006, 9:02 am PDT
Quote From: luvmiman1 Having just worked a full week (and a half) at the new place...I was completely and totally open to the "opinion" of my husband (whom I adore and love completely)......HE encouraged the job and wanted nothing but for me to take it. So NOW, I've had two weekends in a row that have been completely RUINED by his selfish and CHILDISH attitude about MY ATTENTIONS being on something else.....NOT him totally.
I am TIRED.....NO exhausted completely. I have worked darn hard and my brain literally HURTS from studying and learning all this. Not to mention we have our son here now....which I thoroughly enjoy having here.....I MISS my kids and want my family around me now. My husband and I have had a LOT of years of being alone. Our kids have been away from home a very long time. We've lived in this honeymoon stage for a long time now.....and I am happy for the change.
BUT this has affected MY attention towards HIM....sexually and otherwise.....and that is NOT making him happy. So he is letting me know REGULARLY, that he is feeling NEGLECTED. (I could scream about now).....lol......
more.... and I am certain that in the coming weeks....as things are changing around here too....it will certainly be an issue.
Change is difficult. And although your life style and your days have changed a great deal....he is not exhausted. As time goes by and you become more accustomed to your routine.....things will fall into place. In the mean time....he needs to have patience and understanding. Not having sex for a few days is not the end of the world. Also......you need to find a way to let the little things go for awhile. Don't worry about a house that isn't perfectly clean and worry about meals that are 100% homemade. Also allow yourself some down time to relax and find yourself. give yourself permission to take a nap or to just kick back and put your feet up. This does more for oneself then most know. And if you allow this....chances are you will find the energy to have sex during this difficult time.
Also...tell him you are feeling a bit neglected yourself. That you need your needs met during sex also....that sex needs to allow the woman to have a little fun too. Chances are (because he seems to be a great husband) he will hear you out and make the changes needed.
Happy to hear from you. Now go take a long bath. |
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October 8, 2006, 3:43 pm PDT
Okay,tis hard for me to speak of this but am tired of being (NOT IN THE MOOD) for my husband when it comes to intimacy,be it affection or in the bedroom,I know I am going thru the change of life which doesn't help matters but back in 2002 our computer had crashed and we got it fixed and so while I was trying to get back some of my e-mail mates to write to and also my buddies on my messenger list I had gone into my husbands archives because we have mutual friends and wot I found left me feeling betrayed and angry,he had a online conversation with a woman,twas verra sexually graphic and she had even sent him live nude shots of herself and in one of the shots my husband told her she look good enough to eat,I was too dam angry to be hurt or to cry,now prior to all this muck happening my husband and I back when this happened were only a live-in couple and we had not gotten intimate until 6 mos after getting together and there was 3 times I made the first move to be intimate,all 3 times he turned me down and since then I have not made the first move,anyway getting back to the topic when I discovered this online conversation he did not one time mention he had a girlfriend living with him so I took it upon myself to inform her,also it did not help knowing she was attainable,she just lived in the next town over,wot I don't understand when this happened my husband knew I had past issues with porn and be cheated on several times by my last husband,I'm on my 3rd marriage......I got friends that ell me they and they'er partners do porn and as long as its done openly between the 2 partners there is nothing wrong with it,hellooooooooooooo,porn is wot got me 2nd divorce, here I go digressing,anyway by nature I am not a trusting person,tis why I waited 6 mos before he and I got intimate,I just needed to make sure this one would work out,now I have no sexual desire at all,he tells me today after one time reminding him of the times he turned me down that he would never turn me down again,too late,we got married 2 yrs ago due to a cancer scare and even tho I love him dearly I want no part of intimacy in any way shape or form,he has a high sex drive and I fear he may stray tho he says he never would,now I know I will sound hypocritical when I say this but I caved in and bought him a porn dvd so he would not bother me for sex,does it work? (NOT),HE WANTS ME MORE THAN EVER AND THE FEELING IS TOTALLY NOT MUTUAL,I can't stand being touched,I hate kissing and even holding hands,can I ever get my drive back??? Help!!!!! |
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October 8, 2006, 3:49 pm PDT
Quote From: iceire Okay,tis hard for me to speak of this but am tired of being (NOT IN THE MOOD) for my husband when it comes to intimacy,be it affection or in the bedroom,I know I am going thru the change of life which doesn't help matters but back in 2002 our computer had crashed and we got it fixed and so while I was trying to get back some of my e-mail mates to write to and also my buddies on my messenger list I had gone into my husbands archives because we have mutual friends and wot I found left me feeling betrayed and angry,he had a online conversation with a woman,twas verra sexually graphic and she had even sent him live nude shots of herself and in one of the shots my husband told her she look good enough to eat,I was too dam angry to be hurt or to cry,now prior to all this muck happening my husband and I back when this happened were only a live-in couple and we had not gotten intimate until 6 mos after getting together and there was 3 times I made the first move to be intimate,all 3 times he turned me down and since then I have not made the first move,anyway getting back to the topic when I discovered this online conversation he did not one time mention he had a girlfriend living with him so I took it upon myself to inform her,also it did not help knowing she was attainable,she just lived in the next town over,wot I don't understand when this happened my husband knew I had past issues with porn and be cheated on several times by my last husband,I'm on my 3rd marriage......I got friends that ell me they and they'er partners do porn and as long as its done openly between the 2 partners there is nothing wrong with it,hellooooooooooooo,porn is wot got me 2nd divorce, here I go digressing,anyway by nature I am not a trusting person,tis why I waited 6 mos before he and I got intimate,I just needed to make sure this one would work out,now I have no sexual desire at all,he tells me today after one time reminding him of the times he turned me down that he would never turn me down again,too late,we got married 2 yrs ago due to a cancer scare and even tho I love him dearly I want no part of intimacy in any way shape or form,he has a high sex drive and I fear he may stray tho he says he never would,now I know I will sound hypocritical when I say this but I caved in and bought him a porn dvd so he would not bother me for sex,does it work? (NOT),HE WANTS ME MORE THAN EVER AND THE FEELING IS TOTALLY NOT MUTUAL,I can't stand being touched,I hate kissing and even holding hands,can I ever get my drive back??? Help!!!!! I failed to mention also when all this muck went down I did more search in his history and found so many womens profiles he had checked out,and alot of sites as well such as porn sites,I kept wondering why my pc kept freezing up on me til I did a scan,omg the porn sites he logged onto had virus's attached,even a few trojans,now mind ye I wasn't that pc smart when we got together and alot of wot I have learned was by trial and error and many many mistakes but I know how to work this bugger now so he is making the effort to clean out his history every day which I am grateful for cuz tho he is alloed to view the dvd I got him he knows porn is an alsolute NOT on my pc,so with that said I think I have mentioned everything. |
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October 8, 2006, 4:34 pm PDT
Quote From: darcylove and I am certain that in the coming weeks....as things are changing around here too....it will certainly be an issue.
Change is difficult. And although your life style and your days have changed a great deal....he is not exhausted. As time goes by and you become more accustomed to your routine.....things will fall into place. In the mean time....he needs to have patience and understanding. Not having sex for a few days is not the end of the world. Also......you need to find a way to let the little things go for awhile. Don't worry about a house that isn't perfectly clean and worry about meals that are 100% homemade. Also allow yourself some down time to relax and find yourself. give yourself permission to take a nap or to just kick back and put your feet up. This does more for oneself then most know. And if you allow this....chances are you will find the energy to have sex during this difficult time.
Also...tell him you are feeling a bit neglected yourself. That you need your needs met during sex also....that sex needs to allow the woman to have a little fun too. Chances are (because he seems to be a great husband) he will hear you out and make the changes needed.
Happy to hear from you. Now go take a long bath. He is a great husband, and I know that we both get "out of sorts" occassionally with all this new change...specifically me being exhausted. He's understanding, probably more than I am even aware of most times. He's the one who put me to bed the other night at 8 p.m. and I slept all through the night. He's also the one who asks me constantly if I want him to pick up something or take me out to dinner after work too.....he's not the problem to be honest. It's me and my frame of mind that it's not ok to just hang clothes up after washing them....I should be ironing them. I am the one who looks around the house and wonders if I'll have the energy to do this or that. It's also me who wants to "rush through the sex" in order to get to sleep. He feels that too from what I understand now. We've talked this through, and actually last night we must have laugh for an hour while rolling around on the bed. lol. I laughed so hard I thought I was hysterical and then I cried.....a whole bunch. If that's what "loosing it" is....well, I guess I lost it. Not in a bad way either, but a really healthy good laugh until I was crying. Does that make sense? Maybe not, but this morning it was like waking to a new person. A rested one.
Even my son has been such a blessing being here. The kitchen has never been cleaner...so often anyway. He's almost "anal" about it. LOL......I just feel that some things are "my job" and that others can't or shouldn't do them as I do them......I am wrong for that and have to change this feeling.
The new job will take me to new places.....it might mean that we move a little bit further in order to be closer to the new facility opening up in 3 months. This will also mean that occassionally I will have to do some dictation while at home....at night. It means a lot of changes for me and my husband. And I guess I worry a bit that more of my time will be focusing on the new career and not so much he and I. The good side to it is that I will be managing again and taking on a whole new responsibility, it also means a good retirement, good pay and all the stuff we have to prepare for in our golden years. It's security.....and that matters now, more than ever.
I appreciate your words of encouragement....thanks so much.
Luv |
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October 8, 2006, 4:43 pm PDT
Quote From: iceire I failed to mention also when all this muck went down I did more search in his history and found so many womens profiles he had checked out,and alot of sites as well such as porn sites,I kept wondering why my pc kept freezing up on me til I did a scan,omg the porn sites he logged onto had virus's attached,even a few trojans,now mind ye I wasn't that pc smart when we got together and alot of wot I have learned was by trial and error and many many mistakes but I know how to work this bugger now so he is making the effort to clean out his history every day which I am grateful for cuz tho he is alloed to view the dvd I got him he knows porn is an alsolute NOT on my pc,so with that said I think I have mentioned everything. There are so many issues here for you that just stating some things for you aren't going to begin to touch the depth of all this mess. Sooooooo....what I'd like for you to do for yourself is to do some checking into marriagetoday.org and get some help there for the both of you.
This place will help you clean up the trust issues you've been hanging onto from the past....and most importantly you need to find a balance of building intimacy with your husband NOW....not later.
The fact is....when we neglect the needs of our spouse....we are rejecting them. Just as you felt rejected and hurt.....there is something about that when it happens to a man. Although your issue about sex maybe related to hormones or changes in your life. Still, that need for him has not changed and marriage should be filled with really great sex. The porn and literal "hunting" he is doing on the internet is absolutely wrong and there is no excuse to cover that up......you have to put your foot down and be totally open about what you've found. It's a computer in your home, so there is nothing wrong with you knowing what's been going on with that.....don't let him use that "it's none of your business" junk on you....it IS your business, it's your marriage.
To put it bluntly....he is cheating without the mess. And it's betrayal to the fullest. Plz visit the website I spoke of and order some material to help you and your husband NOW.....
Best of luck.
Luv |
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October 8, 2006, 6:45 pm PDT
Quote From: luvmiman1 He is a great husband, and I know that we both get "out of sorts" occassionally with all this new change...specifically me being exhausted. He's understanding, probably more than I am even aware of most times. He's the one who put me to bed the other night at 8 p.m. and I slept all through the night. He's also the one who asks me constantly if I want him to pick up something or take me out to dinner after work too.....he's not the problem to be honest. It's me and my frame of mind that it's not ok to just hang clothes up after washing them....I should be ironing them. I am the one who looks around the house and wonders if I'll have the energy to do this or that. It's also me who wants to "rush through the sex" in order to get to sleep. He feels that too from what I understand now. We've talked this through, and actually last night we must have laugh for an hour while rolling around on the bed. lol. I laughed so hard I thought I was hysterical and then I cried.....a whole bunch. If that's what "loosing it" is....well, I guess I lost it. Not in a bad way either, but a really healthy good laugh until I was crying. Does that make sense? Maybe not, but this morning it was like waking to a new person. A rested one.
Even my son has been such a blessing being here. The kitchen has never been cleaner...so often anyway. He's almost "anal" about it. LOL......I just feel that some things are "my job" and that others can't or shouldn't do them as I do them......I am wrong for that and have to change this feeling.
The new job will take me to new places.....it might mean that we move a little bit further in order to be closer to the new facility opening up in 3 months. This will also mean that occassionally I will have to do some dictation while at home....at night. It means a lot of changes for me and my husband. And I guess I worry a bit that more of my time will be focusing on the new career and not so much he and I. The good side to it is that I will be managing again and taking on a whole new responsibility, it also means a good retirement, good pay and all the stuff we have to prepare for in our golden years. It's security.....and that matters now, more than ever.
I appreciate your words of encouragement....thanks so much.
Luv that in a few weeks (hopefully I will be getting this job) when I am learning a new job and all and have this same issues going on...you will remind me of how to get through it.
I have a second interview on Tuesday. the pay is great....and I will be teaching....although adults. I will be teaching computers and digital photography. The pay is very good and I am very confident about the ability to do this job. What I am not confident about is keeping up with everything....but that takes time.
Anyways...hopefully the second interview goes well. I have been preparing for it for it all day. I have to give a 15 minute lesson....so I create a power point presentation on "What you want in a digital camera" and also have been printing different things I have created over the years on various programs....especially those things I used when I was teaching computers.
Take care...and I know...a good cry sometimes is just the medicine one needs. |
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October 8, 2006, 10:44 pm PDT
Quote From: luvmiman1 What's the sense in complaining about something you are so willing to excuse??? What's the sense in getting hurt over something you are so willing to defend for him? This is so typical, first that there is so much pain and agony over something so "unreal" in the first place, only to defend the very things that ALL men should be "good at".....for instance being the father to his kids....why is that such a attribute to him, when clearly that is what he should be with and for his children. Since when is being a faithful partner in your relationship worth "less" than him being a "good father" to his own children?
That's what I don't get.......has it ever occurred to you that the reason he is so wonderful in all these other areas is because he's got to be offering you something more in those areas.....because without him being "good" (almost overly good) is because he's so terrifically uncaring in the MOST important area of his relationship.......that being with you.
Let me tell you.....someday, the relationship he has with the WOMAN who is the mother of those kids will and should be the very foundation, the very thing that makes him a "good person, father, and man" in his own childrens' eyes. He will be the one who literally teaches those kids how to love and be loved as a man.....and porn, hitting on "real" connections with others right there living within 10 miles of his home (just to get pics)...right in front of you, even knowing full well how this hurts you and degrades this relationship......he is NOT a good partner. Point blank, he is not a good person to do this to you or anyone........and allow this to effect the woman he loves, the woman he's got children with.....
And no, the money thing does not wash either. I did it, millions do, they get married "cheap" and then follow up on the big deal wedding later along with honeymoons. Heck, for all you know, he's shopping right now for something different! He has no respect for you, period, he just doesn't. But if all those other qualities erase this in your mind....then by all means everyone who's been telling you to "chill out" about this......well, they are right. You should chill out.
Luv K, I'm sorry I even said anything! I didn't expect this to be jen-bashing fest, thanx 4 tearing me down and making me doubt my guy's love for me. I guess I should just talk 2 ppl who know us. He's so sweet to me, we wanna get married, now more than ever, we just never have more than 200 bux at a time to spend freely okay. He's not lookin 4 sum1 new, I'm 100% confident in that, we are builing our life together. He doesnt think, I know that, he does these things knowing how it will hurt me, but he pushes past it and does it anyway, ??? The main reason it bothers me is because I have eyes and I just know I don't have a beautiful body! I just really don't want him to have these other images of "hot girls" in his mind, so that I will appear uglier. Read the very top of the screen, it says to be sensitive because it's a touchy subject. Well, I'm a very sensitive girl and your comments, I fear, will affect me for a few days. So, thanx. |
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