Topic : Pornography

"I am Not by any means a prude and i will give it up to him even when i am sick if that is what he wants. my daughter is 17 months old  and this has been going on up until i threw out all of the porn in the house and took his account off of the computer and made my password protected. He has been doing better and our sex life is progressing to what it was before baby."

so, you threw out all the porn he had and took his account off the computer and changed the password ?? WOW.  your not his wife, i think your his mother !  remember, he already has one of those and doesnt need another one!  what right do you have to throw out his porn stash, remove his computer account and change the password so he can't get in ??? who are YOU to do all these things???? general zod ??  if you didn't want porn in your life, WHY did you marry him? and if during the marriage you decided out of thin air that porn wasn't thrilling or fun for you anymore, then WHY didnt you divorce him? if you had, then porn would of BEEN out of your life and he could of stayed the same person that YOU married and fell in luv with! 

you remind me of another poster that did this very same thing. and umm, its "not working for her" (as doc phil would say ). her husband still looks at porn, even more so than ever before and he doesnt care that she knows- in fact, he lets her know when he uses every chance he gets lol. then you go on to say that he's "doing better" and that your "sex life is progressing"... he's doing better ??? huh? he's "doing better" because YOU took the porn away. you took the porn away, but you didnt take away his desire to wanna use it. in fact, you might of made it even worse now. just because you dont see him using it, doesnt mean he's not using it or not thinking about it !

what you did was treat him like a baby. and here your thinking you did such a great thing- by controlling him and keeping certain things away from him the way a parent would keep certain dangerous things away from a lil kid. word: your husband is an ADULT and can make HIS OWN decisions! think about it:  he didn't CHOOSE to stop using porn, YOU made that choice FOR HIM and in doing that, you FORCED porno sobriety on him. you cant keep it away from him forever!!!! and umm, whats gonna happen when he goes out somewhere else (unless you put a GPS in his car ) like to somebodys house or if he goes to the store and sees or buys a porn mag? what if what you did drives him to go to strip clubs and other places since he cant see the kinda sex (porn ) that he wants to see at his own house?!?

if forcefully taking his porn away makes you feel better inside, more in control of him and is making your sex life "progress", then i guess thats all good....for YOU.  but whether this parenting skill that you used on him makes him feel better inside, makes him feel more in control of his own mind, fantasies & actions and is making his sex life "progress", i'd have to say I DOUBT IT. that is sooo messed up, what you did. reading your post about what you did to your husband is making me understand more and more why most husbands go to porn and keep using it . this ain't a diss on you, k? its just how i feel and how i see it. 

you just said that the fantasies in porn are things that go way above and beyond what is comfy for women. are you talking about anal sex ? becuase if you are, it only hurts the first time its done to you (think about the first time you had sex. it hurt, didnt it ?) then after that it feels good. and if your talking about threesomes, dp or other kinda stuff, well i think most husbands dont want to actually try them things with there wives. i would think most husbands would wanna try boy on girl kinda stuff.

and if some women think some of their husband's fantasies go way above and beyond what they feel comfy doing (boy on girl stuff ONLY ), then maybe they should TRY IT first, before making judgement calls or decisions on not wanting to try it !!

somehow, darcylove (and this ain't a diss, k? plz dont be sensitive about this ) when i read your post that you want "happy and fulfilling" sex, it didnt really sound to me that your the kinda wife that luvs gettin her freak on wicked hot with her guy when he isnt expecting it. it sounded more like you like the standard way of having sex:  him doing foreplay on you-missionary (or possibly on top ) position-he comes-then he cuddles you.  then you said that you meant that "both spouses get something out of it". well umm, jus because he comes, it DOESNT mean he's getting out of it what YOUR getting out of it !!!!  do you understand what i mean???

having "hot and exciting sex" (as you called it lol) should NEVER leave the other with damage... "damage"?? what kinda damage are you referring to?  i dont believe any husband would wanna live out his "hot and exciting" sexual fantasies that would "damage" (?) his wife.  if its damaging to her, then its damaging to HER, not damaging in and of itself. and if its damaging to her and she won't ever ever let her husband live out that fantasy with her, then thats just too bad- for him.

i'm curious tho.......what sex acts that are in porn (boy on girl ONLY!) that you think are or could be "damaging" to a wife?? we've already covered the anal aspect of sex, so you cant use that as an example. and if your talking about fisting, then yea, even i think thats wayyy over the top. but, since most husbands arent interested in that (thats mostly lezbos that do that kinda thing ) anyways, then there's 2 things that are off the list....

im curious because if you go on to make a statement like this: "Too many have asked for sexual fantasies that are above and beyond what they feel comfortable doing. and often porn displays fantasies that are unrealistic for someone to feel good about." , then some peoples are gonna want an explanation or gonna want for you to give some examples, yknow ?

you just said that the fantasies in porn are things that go way above and beyond what is comfy for women. are you talking about anal sex ? becuase if you are, it only hurts the first time its done to you (think about the first time you had sex. it hurt, didnt it ?) then after that it feels good. and if your talking about threesomes, dp or other kinda stuff, well i think most husbands dont want to actually try them things with there wives. i would think most husbands would wanna try boy on girl kinda stuff.

and if some women think some of their husband's fantasies go way above and beyond what they feel comfy doing (boy on girl stuff ONLY ), then maybe they should TRY IT first, before making judgement calls or decisions on not wanting to try it !!

somehow, darcylove (and this ain't a diss, k? plz dont be sensitive about this ) when i read your post that you want "happy and fulfilling" sex, it didnt really sound to me that your the kinda wife that luvs gettin her freak on wicked hot with her guy when he isnt expecting it. it sounded more like you like the standard way of having sex:  him doing foreplay on you-missionary (or possibly on top ) position-he comes-then he cuddles you.  then you said that you meant that "both spouses get something out of it". well umm, jus because he comes, it DOESNT mean he's getting out of it what YOUR getting out of it !!!!  do you understand what i mean???

having "hot and exciting sex" (as you called it lol) should NEVER leave the other with damage... "damage"?? what kinda damage are you referring to?  i dont believe any husband would wanna live out his "hot and exciting" sexual fantasies that would "damage" (?) his wife.  if its damaging to her, then its damaging to HER, not damaging in and of itself. and if its damaging to her and she won't ever ever let her husband live out that fantasy with her, then thats just too bad- for him.

i'm curious tho.......what sex acts that are in porn (boy on girl ONLY!) that you think are or could be "damaging" to a wife?? we've already covered the anal aspect of sex, so you cant use that as an example. and if your talking about fisting, then yea, even i think thats wayyy over the top. but, since most husbands arent interested in that (thats mostly lezbos that do that kinda thing ) anyways, then there's 2 things that are off the list....

im curious because if you go on to make a statement like this: "Too many have asked for sexual fantasies that are above and beyond what they feel comfortable doing. and often porn displays fantasies that are unrealistic for someone to feel good about." , then some peoples are gonna want an explanation or gonna want for you to give some examples, yknow ?

here's another one:

for men:    porn = lazy sex 

for women: wives laying in bed at night waiting for their husbands to initiate hot wicked sex every single time = lazy sex

see? told ya there was a balance to the sexes  ;)

cheating is where you do something that betrays the other person's trust. It is where you turn outside the marriage for something you should be getting from inside the marriage.

I must say i do feel it is cheating.  When i went out of town for a few days and came home to discover my bf had been watching porn on the computer (which i stumbled across accidently) i felt as if he had actually cheated on me.  My heart  was    broken and i was physically sick.  But it made me understand why we didnt have sex the night i came home, he had been having it while i was gone.  Thats what really hurt the most i guess.  I missed him terrably when i was gone, i didnt even have coffee with any old friends.  Then i come home and find out he was getting off to the computer while i was gone, that broke my heart.  I guess what made it hurt more was the fact that he works nights so we dont even have sex as often as i would like.  It just made me feel as if he would rather get off to porn then to have sex with me, and that really hurt.  That happened back in august and im still not over it.  It has made me so ensecure and makes me feel like there is something wrong with me.  I dont understand why he did it, i havent been able to ask him because it seems so personal to me and its embarassing.  The thing is he was sorry and said he was stupid for doing it.  He was afraid he was guna loose me.  He is a very loveing man and would give me the moon if he could, and when we do have sex its not wild kinky sex, its very passionate love making so much so that it makes me cry.  So i know i dont want to be with a man that needs porn in his life, and he doesnt.  It was just that one time thing.  However i do worry about if i ever have to leave again.  But i do trust him also.  So i hope with time my pain will heal and i can get over this.  But meanwhile i am mending a broken heart because i was cheated on in a way.  Well i hope that helps at least a little.  Blindy