Topic : Pornography

it was just after my husband relapsed. I was too hurt and lost and in need of something. There was no support board then either....although many asked for it.

I remember a few people who posted....who were cruel and mean and made me feel pretty lousy. Thank God we had a very good therapist. Why I stayed thorugh that all...I don't know....maybe because the little I did get was enough at the time. If I were in the same place today...I am not so sure it would be my choice. At that time....I really felt I was the only one. And so I think i stayed so I wasn't the only one...and through it all had to endure the smart ass remarks that came with it. It was not easy.

No one is asking for the other board to not exist...but they are asking we not make note of it when someone post here. I personally don't understand what the problem is. THere are many things on this message board I discover even after 3 1/2 years........like the religion board...had no idea where it was. It can be right there in black and white and someone not even see it.

Again....I will continue to tell those posters I see who are looking for support about the support board...and this conversation doesn't change a thing.

show me pity and i will show you support.

there is plenty of enabling......because that is all some know how at this point. but it is often directed also towards moving past the hurt and to real solutions.

I think someone who advocates for porn in marriages either by saying it is okay or by using it themsleves are FOR porn in marriages. You have said many times you and your spouse use it.....that to me is saying to you it is an okay thing to do.

I myself think porn is not at all a good thing in marriages. Not just mine but all marriages. I think the long term damage it does is not known until it is too late.

Wow. I can't believe what I've read! I only went back three pages, but it's obvious that there are some people who are bothered by the other board existing. When I first came here and posted on the support board to try to help and give advice, I didn't understand why some people kept telling me to not post there. I thought it was unfair and discriminatory at the time.

But now...I get it. It would be like if I had a boyfriend who was addicted to meth and it was ruining our relationship and I went to a forum that had the header "good or bad, how does meth affect your relationship?" but then there was another board called "support for those whose lives are/were negatively affected by meth". When I think about this hypothetical situation, I know for sure that I would rather go on the support board than a meth debate board. And while I was there, I honestly doubt that I'd want meth users or people who didn't think meth was inherently harmful unless used in excess to be posting on there telling me how wrong I was for being devastated by my boyfriend's meth addiction.

And as soon as I understood the meaning of there being two boards, I decided never to post on the support board again. I think that was a couple months ago that I decided that. Women (or men) who are having negative experiences with porn don't and wouldn't want to hear any advice from a webcam performer, no matter how well-intended or sincere my advice or opinions were.

If I can understand this, why can't other people?

that some may not recognize the damage it is doing. They give it so little thought...and can't put their finger on what went wrong.

Like me waking up with my fist clenched.......there was a time...I didn't even recognize it.

I also always had a habit of looking the opposite direction when I was in a crowd.....i didn't recognize it as what it was for most of my life.

I am sure there is plenty in my life I don't recognize as a problem....maybe never will. And I believe some who tell you porn is okay in their marriage....don't even know why it isn't okay. I don't think porn is ever a good thing. EVER!