Topic : Pornography

let me tell you about this girl I was going to take in. maybe you heard this before...sorry if you did.

My cousin was killed in an accident. Her daughter (my God child) had no mom.....and her dad was not in the picture (actually we had reason to believe the child was actually the product of her father's molestation).

So my cousin's daughter had no family...no where stable to go. Her step dad....was throwing her out. Her grandmother was completely insane and her step-grandmother was sending her to an all girls school for troubled children.

so...I attempted to bring her into my home. I felt I had to. I also wanted to in some ways. But in very short time....my own marriage and children were put in jepordy. The insane grandmother (my aunt) spent every waking moment at my house.....causing everyone much distress. And the girl I was taking in....was rebelling. I had to let go of the idea despite I knew she had nothing else. I couldn't do everything for her in spite of my own family.

They are probably better with you...however....are you better with them?

This doesn't have to be your problem. Give yourself permission to not own this.

It's all good.  ;-)  And how are you? I hope doing a lot better than you were a few weeks ago.

I realize not everyone would agree with my theory. It's just one that I came up with after thinking about why a man would want to seek out other women sexually when he already has an attractive woman at home to be sexual with. Aside from coming to the conclusion that men are just lying, cheating b*st*rds, I tried to come up with something that could or would at least explain their innate drive for having sex with multitudes of different women instead of being sexually satisfied with having just ONE woman.

i don't think women look at porn so much because, well, why should we?  We can have sex anytime we want. men are very easy, you know.

I do agree with you here. Why would we unwittingly watch porn on a monitor when we can be actually OUT there HAVING sex?? 

But let me tell you......losing my mom really has changed a lot of things for me. The world looks much differently for sure. My mom was my best best best friend in the whole wide world...and I told her that a lot....she would say the same to me. Losing her is like losing both arms and half a leg.....if you know what I mean. :(

Your theories are your therories...thats why god gave us brains...to use them...to figure things out......and to learn. You are doing splendidly....and you have always been fine.  How is school???

men and women are liars...cheaters.....men are just better at getting caught. Its a fact they are more careless. As usual, women put more "thought" into things..which makes them better at lying...not a good thing....but again.....fact.  Hey..maybe being accused of "thinking too much" has benefits?  :))

Having sex is dangerous. Penny is right. But  I am not so sure that porn use does not come with its' own set of problems. Just look at what it does to relationships? it may not bring home diseases of the body but it sure seems to have major affect on the brain. Not being sarcastic here either.  When we put images into our brains, we remember them. Even if we don't do it consciously. The subconscious has a way of remembering things whether we want to or not. Ever try to forget something that left an impression..good or bad? I don't think porn use per say has as big an impact on the brain as say, 9-11, but the repetitive use of it leaves lasting impressions. Who is going to ever admit that they have not thought of someone or something else when they are having sex? it happens. It does not that person a bad person, but the brain does not differentiate between what is real and what is not.

Oh well. i am getting tired of this, aren't you?

I will be happy when I am single again for one big big reason. I won't ever have to think about this crap anymore. I may have to remain single in order to avoid being subjected to it again, but I will just date and if a guy wants to use porn......thats fine because at the end of the date, I go home and make another date with someone else. no attachments after this one. I think I may be able to love again....and this is a good thing....but I doubt I will ever commit to anything serious. i don't think serious is in my cards. I am getting too old to be worried about dying and living alone. My life is more then 1/2 over.......I think its time i stopped looking for a committed relationship and just enjoy what i have. And i have a lot.

Why do men seek so much stimulation even if they have a gorgous woman on their hands? Because they can. Its out there and its out there for good. There is only one way around a man not leering at other women...that is to pluck their eyeballs out of their heads. But then again, what good would they be picking out jewerly and stuff for us huh??? heh heh....I am feeling a little devilish...can you tell?

Ok. Best be going for now. Nice to hear from you. Kim

the last portion of phil today was talking to a couple in which the women wasn't interested in sex. Phil didn't advice this young man to go look at porn. He didn't advice him to seek other women. He instead told them that they needed to work together in solving the issue. He didn't advice this man to live in a sexless marriage.....as a matter of fact he told them he didn't think that would be a good thing. But he also didn't tell this guy that he needed to find the next best thing to satisfy himself with.

The women in this he believed had some internal dialogue that needed to be changed. The women had a dialogue that told her that sex was bad and dirty. She wanted to change that dialogue. Now if a women doesn't want to change that dialogue....I would really question why the marriage continues. But I don't think porn is the answer that so many guys think that it is. It sure wasn't phil's advice!

I can't sit here and read this. Years and years of telling others and myself that porn to save all to stopping affairs. years and years of blaming my own inadequancies for it. And to sit here and have someone tell me the same BS that took away everything from so many...I can't do it.

see ya.

Have a good day penny. And make sure you give yourself a much needed rest.

I can't sit here and read this. Years and years of telling others and myself that porn to save all to stopping affairs. years and years of blaming my own inadequancies for it. And to sit here and have someone tell me the same BS that took away everything from so many...I can't do it.

see ya.

Have a good day penny. And make sure you give yourself a much needed rest.

...but it suits the case of the women that just want to be with their husband....and their husband wanting to satisfy their urges.

How about a woman wanting to satisfy HIS urges?

I just don't agree with making a man stand on his head and spit wooden nickels every time he wants to have sex.  He's not a trained monkey.....he's a man.

Certainly there has to be compromise.  Women need to figure out what it is they want in their marriage and their sex life to a man they are going to be married to the next 40, 50 or 60 years and not just fall in love with "getting married" just because they want babies and a house.  If the man they are dating doesn't fit their needs sexually chances are you're not going to be able to change him later.

More often it is the woman that tries to change the man to fit her needs after they are married.  It's better to find a man that you and he fit together from the very beginning then being to anxious to marry and think things will change later.