Topic : Pornography

...I don't know about anyone else, but I don't like this new format. Even though I've figured out how to navigate it, it still looks confusing and I don't like how the font is even smaller now than it was before! Because they're probably going to keep on testing this out on us and eventually keep it this new format, I've made up an experimental forum that I think is easier to navigate through and to post on. I'd like to know everyone's HONEST opinion of the forum I've created: http://www.soldiersplanet.com/lostorfound I really need some honest feedback on this because I truly want to help those who are going through a tough time with pornography but I also want to enable those who don't have a problem with it to share their viewpoints with others. I've realized that both sides can learn from each other about this issue and it's good for people to hear about BOTH sides of this issue. So...let me know what you all think about my experimental forum and if I get favorable reviews, then I will give Lost or Found it's own domain name and it's own dedicated server if I get enough members to join. I'm sick this morning, but I'll be on and off here throughout the day.

What is this? What happen to the other boards? I almost get a headache looking at this. Dr. Phil! Change it back please!

I wait for 2 days and see if the board is back to normal and still it isn't! Even tho my vision is good, its still hard to read these tiny fonts. I will check back and see if they change it. If not then I can't post here anymore because is to much trouble. Dr. Phil you have ruined your site!! Why??

I believe Pornography has many many negative effects withing a marriage relationship.  To me, it takes out the true meaning of sexual fullfillment with your spouse and turns it into  just  an act.  I recall hearing a memorable  candid  interview with Dr. James Dobson and Serial Killer Ted Bundy, he had admitted on how pornography made somewhat of an impact to him when he was a child and how that carried through.  He didn't negate or blame his behavior totally on Porn, he just said it did contribute.  I have seen first hand how Pornography has ripped my surroundings.  many people say that its about adults but truly, it is all about the act and has no sense of relationship.  but I guess some people need a jump start  from an outside source, rather than having that jump start with thier partner.

Dear Members,


You may have noticed some changes going on here at DrPhil.com. We have been hard at work, building an all-new Dr. Phil community with tons of exciting new features and ways to keep in touch with each other.


Unfortunately, we moved too fast and brought our new community to you before it was ready. You responded by letting us know how much you missed the old message boards and online diaries you had grown to love.


With every new community, there are growing pains, and we’re still fitting into our new framework. In an effort to accommodate the needs of our loyal members, we’re restoring the Dr. Phil community features you had access to before. Click around now and you’ll find all your old messages and diary entries right where you put them in the first place.


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Gabrielle Pascoe
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Dr. Phil

 Appreciate the heads up to us. This is a bit of a resource hog and I'm running some fairly serous harware.

kinda miss the edit feature too. It's spelled hardware. I haven't been drinking...darn it.

I am going to be doing some dating. I am curious as to how and when the topic of porn comes up, if it does, and use my experience with a man that uses porn as a sexual release "normally" to those that use it a lot, never, or occasionally. When a woman asks a man to be honest, he cringes because if he is, he will most likely get crucified by being honest.....especially when it comes to lusting after other women. Men don't tell the truth because they are afraid......like little boys...which is ok........they are not the enemy, porn is not the enemy, the enemy of relationships is power struggle.

 

Men know how to communicate, women control the conversations. Men know how to be emotional, they also use silence as a weapon. It is going to be fun trying to be honest but I am looking forward to it because in honesty only then can we see the truth, reality, and make good decisions.  I am not going to play games with guys, ie. "if they take me to dinner or something, they will think they may get sex...but even beforehand I will tell them, no sex, and then give them the option to fulfill this invite. \

 

As men on this board, what do you think the outcome of this will be?

Long time no see. Its good to have the board up and running again huh? Although I wonder how productive it is to post sometimes because it seems to turn into debates instead of sharing.

 

So whats the difference between killing and road rage? A lot and nothing. The feeling behind it is similar-anger, control, or more likely fear and being out of control - this makes a person react quick and based on feeling not reality. When I am driving and someone behind me is tailing me, I pay more attention to safety then my feelings. I would never do that to someone, so it does cross boundaries for me and triggers initially anger, but I see behind my anger is a fear that harm can be done due to the lack of common sense on someone elses part. This is what we need to be aware of in life.....not just when we get in our cars.

 

Killing someone is another form of fear. I killed a spider last nite that was in my home. I did that because I didn't want to be bit and then need to go to the hospital; so it was fear that made me do this. I feel horrible when I kill an insect; Yet I believe in abortion. You see, we have to use common sense. What is the best possible choice? And we have to think selfishly because without self love we will allow others to manipulate, use and abuse.

 

When it comes to porn and if it triggers negative affects in individuals, I totally believe the negative was already instilled in the individual. I don't believe porn can trigger a person to rape someone. I can see it triggering thoughts of sex and going where the concious mind finds fantasy - then creates the possibility that it does not need to remain fantasy.........creating more of a effect of promiscious and infidelity behaviours.   Nut kill someone? No.  There are crazy videos of bondage, torture, beatings, etc. to purchase these is not to say they are rapists, etc. but want to see what it is like to be humiliated sexually, forcebilly attacked and brutally beat. Will this make a person want to do these acts? Possibly.

 

Porn can definately have an affect on a weak mind, a damaged mind and a sick person but inn the hands of a responsible person it can also be a lesson, a form of introspection into our dark sides that we all kow exists but we keep contained. Now that I left my husband and am alone, I have borrowed some porn flicks from a few friends and you know what??? My feelings for it hasn't changed. They serve a purpose when single but the real thing is still best!!!! Hope all is well. Have a good day.

She has told me that she has never had sex before and the fact that she is relying on pornography, I'm assuming to achieve that intimacy, is a problem.  I don't think she has ever been in a serious relationship either.