Topic : 11/24 Great School Debate

  Well, there are a myriad of reasons...

First of all, I had wanted to homeschool, because I liked the idea of families staying together, since I found out I was pregnant with my first child.

When one is noticeably pregnant, seemingly one is free to receive well-wishing "advice" from strangers (wink).  One that stuck with me, was, "Better enjoy them while you can, because when they turn 5, you don't get much time with them, anymore, and they grow up so quickly!..."  It didn't stick with me then.  I just smiled and moved on.
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Time went on, I remarried and had more children.  I had my children in school for a time.  Then, while unpacking a box, I saw all the literature I had before about homeschooling, the pros and cons, "how to" do it, etc... and a flood of memories came back to me, including that kind "better enjoy them while you can" woman.  Reading those books re-awakened my dormant goals.  Also, there were other personal circumstances which seemed to fit.  So we made the decision 5 years ago, and haven't looked back.

I started questioning things that we take for granted.  Things such as the default of families not being together during "school hours".  We take that for granted.  We wake up, one or both parents head to work, and kids spend their best and most energetic hours with someone else.  When a parent is seen in public with their child during "school hours", the question is "Oh, do you have a day off school?".  It's perceived as odd or unusual,  that at certain hours of the day, children over a certain age are with their own parents, or with other children but not in a school.  The epiphany hit me like a ton of bricks.

I also felt retroactively gypped, given that as parents, we "get them" during the most physically exhausting times (for parents) of their lives, the diaper years, the chasing toddler years, the times when their physical abilities are not quite aligned with their sense of reason (grin).  Then, precisely at the age when they turn more "fun", and require no more babying, but still are young and relate-able, they're sent off to someone else!

So now we don't deal with that anymore.  Many people who don't understand homeschooling perceive homeschoolers as people who tend to isolate their children.  Well, for me the opposite is true. 

When I think about it, they were more isolated when they were in school.  They came home from school, and the first thing was, "Mom, can I go over and play at (name of friend's) house?".  Sometimes I would allow them but other times I'd resent that here they spent all day somewhere else, and STILL didn't get "time with their friends?" (And school is supposed to be this social Utopia).  When do we as parents get to see them? Bedtime? Supper time?  When it's time to nag them to finish their homework?.  Yeah, evenings (if I'm lucky) and weekends.  Gee, Thanks.

How can a parent be "so involved" when it's largely remotely?  Get in line while the teacher deals with the other parents who just want "5 seconds" of the teacher's time?  Write a note?  Don't teachers get a break off school hours for their lives or do they have to spend all their time after hours reading notes and responding to them?

Well, now that they are home, I'm more inclined to let them go visit friends, do other things and be gone for sleepovers, because my time with them is not ripped off.  We get quality time, interactive learning time, and the time I spend with them is not when they're tired from being in school all day, but when they're open and receptive.  So yeah, when you look at it that way, they're less "isolated".  They interact with not only me, but with a myriad of people through their lives.

Anyway, this post is already long, but yet it only covers a fraction of the reasons we homeschool.  But I thought the family thing is a big one, which is not often addressed.  More often it's the "socialization" and "university readiness", and I don't want to reinvent the wheel.

homeschoolma wrote:
"The first misconception I will address is that homeschoolers spend too much time with their family and not enough time with their peers.  The amount of time that a child needs to spend with their peers varies from child to child."

Indeed you are correct.  I addressed this in my "why I homeschool" post, which I posted here and on the general "homeschool" board.  Also, what our society defines as "too much", and my own, when it comes to family time, are two completely different realities.

For me, I find now that they are not in school, I am more inclined to let them spend time with their friends.  I've also (more easily than if they are school students) been given the luxury of getting to know who their friends are, and feel more confident and secure in letting them "go".  I didn't have between the hours of 7 and 3 to miss them, so yes, I get more time with them and they get to spend more time doing other things they like with other people they like.  It's "win-win".

Also, yes indeed, children do have different thresholds for what they can tolerate with regards to being dumped in a class with people who only have in common their birth year, at most.  For me, I liked people, as a child, but there were times when I was flooded with people and just wished I could be left alone - heck, even 20 minutes would have sufficed.

I am a former homeschooler.  My children are now in the public school system, but it is not by choice.  It is because I had no choice due to working.  I want the best for my children, and at this moment the school system can give them more structure than I can (after working 8hrs a night and then sleeping 5hrs).

BUT..with that said, I don't think the debate that has been going on here is fair.  First of all, Dr. Phil chose a homeschooling family for the show, that from what I can see from the previews, is NOT a typical homeschooling family.  At least not in my area.  Most, and I stress the word Most...do not unschool.  They do not allow their children just to do whatever they want.  My children had a set schedule (yes some homeschoolers would cringe at this), and we did every subject using a textbook, or lesson plans that I made using various resources (Internet, Library, etc).

I expected my children to complete their work, I corrected their work, and spent extra time on a subject when they struggled.  They were not allowed to run around and do whatever they wanted.  I had very high standards for my children, and even in public school I have high standards.

There are good and bad homeschoolers just as much as there are good and bad teachers, administrators, and public schools.  When you are faced with a broken system, and you truly do want the best for your children, homeschooling is a fabulous option, if you are capable.

I don't regret homeschooling, I wish I could still be doing it.  But I think by choosing the family that Dr. Phil did, he is fostering the misconceptions that are out there.  Shows like Law and Order also show misconceptions based on one homeschool family in the news.  You don't here about the other 1+ million homeschoolers because they are too busy educating their children.  Yet they suffer the consequences of these misconceptions.

It is a discriminatory thing to lump all homeschoolers together, just as it is to say all African Americans ................, or all Jewish people ....................., or all Irish ............................

Discrimination or lumping people together based on a stereotype is wrong.  No matter who you are.

I get compliments all the time on my children's behavior, work ethic, etc.  So I feel that as a homeschooler, I did a fabulous job.  And if you don't agree with my decision to do it, that is fine, you don't have to.  This is America.

I doubt most parents are concerned when their children are read a story for an older age group.   They'd probably jump on the bandwagon of thinking the kids are advanced. 

 

FWIW, one of the reasons my kids aren't in traditional school is because stories like this are not permitted.  There is way too much censorship in schools, it has become ridiculous. 

is there a deadline for responding to posts?

 

 

I know that Venn diagrams may be used in the illustration of either mathematic or logic concepts.  When illustrating a logical concept, they function to show relationships, not statistics. Just because it does not utilize numbers does not mean it is not a true representation of a relationship between groups.

 

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I wasn't suggesting you leave the board. I was suggesting that YOU don't have any right to tell me how to raise my child.

 

From your post I assume you aren't from the US, where are you from? Perhaps the public schools are better there. I also understand that people outside the US don't really have much exposure to homeschooling from a Friends & Flags project we did, where we exchanged information with teachers and students from other countries.

 

Who do you want homeschoolers to be accountable to? Having them be accountable to the State Department of Education is STUPID, as the State Department of Education views homeschoolers & private schoolers as competition taking away their federal and state funding (public schools get money for every warm body in a seat).

 

Here teachers are judged by their students success in passing test. So consider this. I don't have teaching credentials, I homeschooled both my children, me eldest took the ACT at 15, scored a 28 and got early admission to college. At 17 he is in his second year of college majoring in computer science and working after school. He made the Dean's list. He also has a scholarship.  You don't need teaching credentials to teach your children.

If you are not from the US, you may not realize that if he was in public school he would be in the 12th grade and would not graduate until May. So he wouldn't even be in college until the start of the next school year if he had been in the public school system.

 

Also you probably don't know this. Anyone with a High School Diploma can be a substitute teacher in the public schools in Mississippi (not sure about the other states). I have done some substitute teaching myself in the public schools.

Purple Penny,

You said before you were on this board to learn about homeschooling, right? What questions do you have?

All parents, not just homeschoolers, should be offended.  What society is saying is that ALL parents cannot be trusted to raise their children the way they should be raised, so we must watch them and intervene in their lives.  Who decides how we should raise our children? 

 

And safeguards are already in place with the DCF or whatever it's called in each state, for those who are truly harming their children. 

 One of the best quotes I've seen is, "I've seen the village and I don't want it raising my child".

You are absolutely right that we do not need to reinvent the wheel.  Child abuse and neglect investigations have their place, and choosing to educate your child at home - no matter which method you ascribe to - does not mean you need someone knocking at your door every week to make sure you're completing English this week, or Math, or whatever.

Also, for my family, I teach in those areas where I am strong (English, History, Social Sciences, etc.) and my husban dteaches those areas where he is stronger (Math and Science).  When our children get older, if there are topic we don't feel comfortable teaching them, we have a homeschool co-op where students can sign up for advanced classes.

Most elementary school teachers in my state cannot (and do not have to) pass a special math test to teach math - they just have to pass the overall test.  They could fail the English portion or math miserably, still pass overall and be allowed to teach.  In fact, to look at my district's classroom web pages and notes sent home to parents, you would be appalled at the amount of poor spelling, incorrect word usage and grammar errors.  Yet these people are somehow more qualified to teach my child than I am?  I think not. :)