Topic : 11/24 Great School Debate

I have sent my boys to private school (a total of four years); I homeschooled both boys for four years; for another four years I homeschooled my youngest while the older son went to public school.   Currently, my youngest   son is going to public school.   All of these years were AWESOME even though none of them were "perfect". 

No matter where they went to school, however, I was involved in their education, and my husband and I always considered ourselves to be our sons' first and primary "teacher".    I would have to say that the homeschool years were the best years.  I would also have to say that they were the hardest years at times, too.    It was such a privilege to learn with my children, to guide them in their discovery of the world, to have the time to discuss anything and everything with them, and to get to really really know them.     We were able to make the most of their (and my) strengths and weaknesses.   It was truly an amazing adventure that we did together.    For all the nights I went to sleep and dreamed phonics charts and for all the mornings that I woke up worried that my son STILL didn't know his "eight times", there were hundreds of precious moments of excitement and discovery.    One son passed the Aplus certification test for computer technicians when he was TWELVE.    He would not have had that opportunity until high school if he'd been in a school.    One son is severely dyslexic and dysgraphic; I was told he might never become functionally literate    However, he reads above grade level and generally outperforms his non-LD public school counterparts in most areas.   No one will ever be able to convince me that he would have achieved this if I hadn't worked with him one-on-one for hours a day for 8 years.   To offset the hours of really hard work,  he has participated in Civil War re-enacting,   studied military history and antique firearms, spent time riding horses, and become a phenomenal guitar player (in a town full of musicians, he is called "Young Stevie" as in Stevie Ray Vaughn).     I have not even begun to describe all the ways my sons and our whole family have profited from the years of homeschool.   Public school teachers express such joy and pleasure to have my sons in their class.    They commend them on their manners, their problem-solving skills, their attitude toward learning, their work ethic, the depth and the breadth of their skills and information.      In addition, my boys know the basics of cooking and doing laundry, shopping and budgeting,  running a house,  and managing one's personal finances.      In addition, they've had to work as a team (at unpleasant jobs, no less!)  and  function within a diverse group, not just their peers.     They've had valuable relationships with the elderly people in the neighborhood as well as the babies in the neighborhood.    Overall, I think that my boys are better prepared for life than the majority of public or private school children.     Even though I ran a pretty tight ship, the boys still had to learn to manage their tme and monitor themselves to a greater extent than a child sitting in a traditional classroom.  They had a real incentive to finish their work in an accurate and timely manner, because it meant we had time for natural science (catching fish and frogs down at the creek or some similar activity).      The boys' teachers have praised them almost excessively for the way they use their class time so efficiently to complete their assignment instead of goofing off. 

I will say that I am very upset with the bias against homeschoolers.     If anybody took the time to check out some of the latest reasearch and not just rely on anecdotal "evidence", they will find that homeschoolers, in general, score higher in self-esteem and social skills than their public and private school counterparts.   Of course, there are notable, negative exceptions, and those are the ones that get all of the attention.   If a family is dysfunctional, then that dysfunction is intensified when the children are kept isolated at home.     Homeschooling is NOT the problem, however, and should not be blamed for  the effects of a parent's or parents' dysfunction.    Homeschooling just means those potential problem children are at home instead of in our classrooms.   To judge all homeschoolers by one family is like judging all public schools by the lowest-ranking public school in Dallas.    Also, I get rather upset when people start talking about excessive regulation of homeschoolers just because  some homeschoolers are not doing their job.   You don't punish everybody for the mistakes of a few; you don't take something away just because not everybody does it perfectly.    A whole lot of schools and teachers aren't doing a good job, either, in spite of  being heavily regulated.     There are those that say all this regulation of our schools is now part of the problem, and it is hindering, not helping, the education of our children.    Let's not punish the thousand of moms and dads who are doing a great job.   We don't need to limit their options for them and their children just because of a few media-hyped examples.  

I am not an advocate for exclusive unschooling.     We had a schedule that we stuck to about 85% of the time.     I set goals for my children and directed their education.    I did read a lot by unschoolers and about unschooling, but in the end I decided that my children and I both needed more structure and discipline.    However,  that 15% of the time we didn't stick to a schedule was, in some ways, the most valuable time in their education.     Sometimes it meant a last minute trip to a museum; sometimes it meant an extra day of flash cards and drills; sometimes it meant hanging out with the award-winning One O'clock Lab Band after lunch with Dad; sometimes it meant a whole day of research at the library; sometimes it was a whole morning in our jammies reading Dinotopia together or watching all of the Sister Wendy art history videos.    

I am so thankful for the wonderful private and public school teachers.    I am amazed at what they are expected to accomplish with so little help and support.      I see to it that my sons have a calm ordered environment in which to study at home; that they have eaten something for breakfast; that they have had a good night's sleep;  that they are calm and happy when they leave the house for school.    I am finding that a surprising number of parents are not meetiing the basic physical and emotional needs  of their children.    I don't expect a teacher to do for my child what I am not willing  to do for my child.

Ultimately, no matter what a parent does or doesn't do, a child gets out of education - be it homeschool, public, or private - what he or she puts into it.     However, the parent is responsible for modeling and communicating a good attitude toward learning and for providing the environment to encourage learning.     It is a grave responsibility that too many parents  are shirking.         

It is my opinion that  parents should have ultimate authority and bear responsibiltiy for the education of their children.   I don't think the government is in a position to make that decision  for most families and their children.     As you can see from my family, different children at different times have needed diffterent types of education.      I can't say that homeschooling is always better even though I can say that I loved homescholing.     Nor can I say that a private school is always better even though my boys had a wonderful experience in their private school.   And, even though I resisted public education at first, it has been very beneficial for both my boys.    All I can say is we need to preserve as many options as possible for our children (one size does not fit all!) and that we as parents and as a society need to do a better job meeting our children's basic physical, emotional, mental and spiritual needs so that our teachers can concentrate on teaching.     

I choose to treat this as a serious question and not the facetious retort which my gut is trying to tell me it was because there is a full inventory of serious answers.

The quickest way to answer is to remind the inquirer that public schools were originally and intentionally designed to utilize the principles of the industrial age to modernize education. Since natural intellect was/is/has been a genetic given, the modernization efforts focused on changing the educational environment. Schools began to look more like factory assembly lines as they became more centralized in administration and more stratified in age levels.  In short, they became optimized for round pegs.

Home education often makes sense for children at both ends of the intelligence spectrum. Both very gifted and learning disabled children are, in essence, square pegs. Both have difficulty fitting into the round holes of mainstream education and both benefit from the one-on-one tutoring of a home school environment.

In many ways, the "antique" one room school house of our ancestors was better able to deal with the square-peg kids; the bright ones could move ahead, and older student were often able to tutor the younger ones who had difficulty.  It should not be at all surprising that a highly motivated parent who is willing to learn what it will take to help their child succeed can frequently out-perform a public school that must conform to mountains of red tape, standard protocol, documentation, and time limitations. 

As I said, this was a quick answer. Once you throw the distractions of pop culture and peer pressure into a classroom, the benefits of home education for square-peg kids begin to increase.

I doubt home education will ever become the main method for educating these kids. Home schooling rates vary widely around the country. (In our community it is just under 7%.)  Within that group, only a handful of parents are home educating because they felt the school was not meeting their needs, however, in the small number of local cases where parents do choose home schooling because the school was not meeting the academic needs, they are getting better results than the "entire school system" you questioned.

'

(FYI - negative socialization issues on the playground, busses and during non-class time-- which are often beyond a teacher's control, are also common reasons for pulling out of schools around here, so it's not all about the education.)

Yes, I do have to worry about these parents. Not crackheads specifically, but some pretty neglectful parents. THAT is what you are refusing to see. They DO pull their kids out of school under the guise of homeschooling. I HAVE assisted in the paperwork. You don't know them because they aren't taking part in your statistics or joining your co-ops. Do you really think I am making this up?

I have seen one or two posts completely against homeschooling. Other people are asking questions or defending public schools. The defensiveness seems completely out of proportion to what is actually being posted. Furthermore, I do not understand the need to bash public schools to make your case for homeschooling. The problems facing public schools are VERY complex, and while I understand a parent wanting to find an alternative, I think some of the snide comments are unwarranted.

I haven't seen the show yet, so I am not going to comment on the presentation. I think many parents DO understand why many parents are looking into homeschooling.

I choose to treat this as a serious question and not the facetious retort which my gut is trying to tell me it was because there is a full inventory of serious answers.

The quickest way to answer is to remind the inquirer that public schools were originally and intentionally designed to utilize the principles of the industrial age to modernize education. Since natural intellect was/is/has been a genetic given, the modernization efforts focused on changing the educational environment. Schools began to look more like factory assembly lines as they became more centralized in administration and more stratified in age levels.  In short, they became optimized for round pegs.

Home education often makes sense for children at both ends of the intelligence spectrum. Both very gifted and learning disabled children are, in essence, square pegs. Both have difficulty fitting into the round holes of mainstream education and both benefit from the one-on-one tutoring of a home school environment.

In many ways, the "antique" one room school house of our ancestors was better able to deal with the square-peg kids; the bright ones could move ahead, and older student were often able to tutor the younger ones who had difficulty.  It should not be at all surprising that a highly motivated parent who is willing to learn what it will take to help their child succeed can frequently out-perform a public school that must conform to mountains of red tape, standard protocol, documentation, and time limitations. 

As I said, this was a quick answer. Once you throw the distractions of pop culture and peer pressure into a classroom, the benefits of home education for square-peg kids begin to increase.

I doubt home education will ever become the main method for educating these kids. Home schooling rates vary widely around the country. (In our community it is just under 7%.)  Within that group, only a handful of parents are home educating because they felt the school was not meeting their needs, however, in the small number of local cases where parents do choose home schooling because the school was not meeting the academic needs, they are getting better results than the "entire school system" you questioned.

'

(FYI - negative socialization issues on the playground, busses and during non-class time-- which are often beyond a teacher's control, are also common reasons for pulling out of schools around here, so it's not all about the education.)

YOu just made my point.

I believe the battle in the mind of the parent is responsible for a great deal of this 'home schooling' that goes on around the country.  What kind of hysteria made that Mother say, 'public schools are death traps'.  Your front yard is a death trap if you want to use the wrong words for everything.  The mark of the uneducated mind.

At best, there are co-op's. 

 I think home schooling occupies the Mommy's time who wonders what she will do when the kids are at school or perhaps doesn't have the initiative to work. 

She thinks she on to some Noble cause.  

Either that or she's  just too lazy to get up and get on with the routine.   We all know that's true.  The Dad, wanting to keep the peace, so he just goes along with it. 

 A prideful, ego trip carries the Mother on her journey  as she proves to the world how much smarter she and her children are going to be.  

I also see fear as a motive for home schooling.  Here in Missouri, the parents are shut out of the public school system.  Unless you completely understand the lingo, are willing to be aggressive with the teachers and above all, know that your little darling is indeed capable of doing just about anything, then the 'them against us' attitude prevails here.  It is a backward culture with strong fundamentalist preaching that's out of balance with life and reality.

The ideas about education here are old.  They do breed contempt.

If you take someone who did not necessarily do well in school, has low self-worth, add to that fear and you have a typical home-schooling parent.

Only 25% of the youngsters go on to get a college degree in Missouri; which, is 24th in the Nation and darn proud of it.  Home schoolers are everywhere.  Do they know as much or more as the qualified Instructors in the school?  Don't be ridiculous.

Timid, uneducated parents think they are superior by refusing to allow their children to socialize.

How else can they distinguish themselves?   It's part of the backward thinking that's prevelant.

Most children deeply resent staring at their Mother's all day for years on end.

Mother's are supposed to be Mother's.  Period.

We do not  have Ph.D's in Science and English and Math.  Nor are we all well traveled with a complete working knowledge of the events of the day.

The cloistered stifeling environment of home-schooling would have driven me nuts.

I would have hated it and whoever put me through it as a child.

What kind of an ego makes a Mother think she is all people and  life's experiences to her child?

I think the inablity to accept others is at the heart of home schooling. 

I loved my friends, my teachers and the learning experience.

IF there were horrible tramatic issues, as a child, as with all children, I was blissfully unaware of them.

We took our youngest son and moved to Texas while he was in Jr. High.  He did not just survive the Texas school system, he thrived, he went on to become a Scholar and is now a Dean's Scholar at OSU in Stillwater.

The other kids in our neighborhood are following typical Missouri schedules.  Deciding to join the military, then undeciding, deciding to go to college, then undeciding.

His entire class in Texas, mostly are involved in college

 His entire class in Missouri, not so good, struggling, failing.

Kids  may not learn what they need too.  If they are home schooled!!   The parents may not teach them what they really need to know.  Also it can put too much stress on a parent.   public schools are much better for a child!  I  think if a child is home schooled they will   end up being lazy in the future!!