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Topic : 11/24 Great School Debate

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Created on : Friday, November 17, 2006, 12:57:50 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Parents want the best for their children, but what’s the best way to educate them? Dr. Phil’s guests face off in a debate about whether to school, homeschool or unschool. Dana and her husband, Joe, call themselves radical unschoolers. They say education happens as a side effect of life, and they don’t believe in tests, curriculums or grades. Are their three kids learning what they need to know? Then, RaeAnn says public schools are death traps and wants to homeschool her children. Her husband, Steve, says their kids are safer at school than they are at home. Can this couple reach a compromise? Plus, Nicole feels like an outcast at 26. She says she hated being homeschooled, and couldn’t relate to other kids. Share your thoughts here.

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November 22, 2006, 9:31 pm PST

11/24 Great School Debate

Quote From: rs8180

Do you know Einstein's teacher told his mother he was retarded?  She was a teacher and homeschooled him.  What do you think would have happened to us if they put him on drugs and sent him to school????
Einstein was also a square peg - had some very autistic spectrum-y traits.
 
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November 22, 2006, 9:50 pm PST

11/24 Great School Debate

Quote From: fly1bby

YOu just made my point.

I believe the battle in the mind of the parent is responsible for a great deal of this 'home schooling' that goes on around the country.  What kind of hysteria made that Mother say, 'public schools are death traps'.  Your front yard is a death trap if you want to use the wrong words for everything.  The mark of the uneducated mind.

At best, there are co-op's. 

 I think home schooling occupies the Mommy's time who wonders what she will do when the kids are at school or perhaps doesn't have the initiative to work. 

She thinks she on to some Noble cause.  

Either that or she's  just too lazy to get up and get on with the routine.   We all know that's true.  The Dad, wanting to keep the peace, so he just goes along with it. 

 A prideful, ego trip carries the Mother on her journey  as she proves to the world how much smarter she and her children are going to be.  

I also see fear as a motive for home schooling.  Here in Missouri, the parents are shut out of the public school system.  Unless you completely understand the lingo, are willing to be aggressive with the teachers and above all, know that your little darling is indeed capable of doing just about anything, then the 'them against us' attitude prevails here.  It is a backward culture with strong fundamentalist preaching that's out of balance with life and reality.

 

The ideas about education here are old.  They do breed contempt.

If you take someone who did not necessarily do well in school, has low self-worth, add to that fear and you have a typical home-schooling parent.


Only 25% of the youngsters go on to get a college degree in Missouri; which, is 24th in the Nation and darn proud of it.  Home schoolers are everywhere.  Do they know as much or more as the qualified Instructors in the school?  Don't be ridiculous.

Timid, uneducated parents think they are superior by refusing to allow their children to socialize.

How else can they distinguish themselves?   It's part of the backward thinking that's prevelant.

 

Most children deeply resent staring at their Mother's all day for years on end.

Mother's are supposed to be Mother's.  Period.

We do not  have Ph.D's in Science and English and Math.  Nor are we all well traveled with a complete working knowledge of the events of the day.

The cloistered stifeling environment of home-schooling would have driven me nuts.

I would have hated it and whoever put me through it as a child.

What kind of an ego makes a Mother think she is all people and  life's experiences to her child?

I think the inablity to accept others is at the heart of home schooling. 

I loved my friends, my teachers and the learning experience.

IF there were horrible tramatic issues, as a child, as with all children, I was blissfully unaware of them.

We took our youngest son and moved to Texas while he was in Jr. High.  He did not just survive the Texas school system, he thrived, he went on to become a Scholar and is now a Dean's Scholar at OSU in Stillwater.

The other kids in our neighborhood are following typical Missouri schedules.  Deciding to join the military, then undeciding, deciding to go to college, then undeciding.

His entire class in Texas, mostly are involved in college

 His entire class in Missouri, not so good, struggling, failing.

 

 

 

 

If you take someone who did not necessarily do well in school, has low self-worth, add to that fear and you have a typical home-schooling parent.

I think the inablity to accept others is at the heart of home schooling.

These are both amazing comments. You are certainly entitled to your opinion... but do you realize that the only comments you've made that can be taken as "fact" are the ones about your own child. You obviously know (and love) your own child and want the best for him.

Just as home schooling parents know and love theirs... and want the best for them. By the way, it takes a lot of patience and love and acceptance to be at home with a child 24/7. And a lot of confidence, hope, and dedication.

My child has six other mentoring adults in his life who round out his life experience - home schooling is not insular. It's often incrediably inclusive, life affirming, and community building. It's about connection and about helping children thrive and become their best and most confident selves. It's certainly not about fear. Not for me, anyway.

It's also about helping children maintain their natural enthusiasm, creativity, and "outside of the box" thinking. It's about the individual, not about the institution. Home schooled children shine.

Cheers,
An Enthusiastic Home Schooling Mama with three University degrees
 
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November 22, 2006, 11:13 pm PST

There's more to education than book learning...

Quote From: lettiecs

I am not sure how I feel about "unschooling". We know of only one family who are unschoolers, and those children are not doing too well on any level. The children place no value on commitments or deadlines; However, I don't believe that is indicative of the majority of unschoolers.

 

I am homeschooling my daughter for a number of reasons,but will detail only the major points. She did attend kindergarten in our school district and then we saw the need to do something different.

 

Our daughter was tested at a 2nd grade level when she was admitted to kindergarten. The teachers called me to a conference and said that my daughter actually tapped out the 2nd grade charts, but  legally they could not test her any higher, nor were they allowed to place my daughter in the 3rd grade, which they believed was the level she should be placed at.

 So my child was in kindergarten where she was sent to 1st and 2nd grade classrooms for math, and reading. In doing this, she would miss out on field trips and recess time, which were scheduled for the times she was in the other classrooms.

My daughter felt left out and lonely. She was never with other children as she was getting her teaching from a couple of para educators in the classroom,and not actually mainstreamed.

She began to have severe asthma attacks and would be sent home from school. My daughter missed alot of school due to asthma and the need for a nebulizer machine, which the school could not administer to her.

 

 Currently my daughter is on a 6th grade level, and if she were still in the public school, she would only be in the 3rd grade. This is a very social child. She has taken dance classes, gymnastics and is in taekwondo. She is also involved in a youth group at church.,and there is also a homeschoolinging organization in our area, which organizes sports activities and field trips as well as art and science cooperatives.

Our daughter has many advantages over children who are in public schools. She does her studies in the morning and is usually finished by lunch. Then she helps me with the daycare children, and helps bake and clean, and of course, she gets to spend alot more time playing.  She is getting hands on learning as well as book studies, and will most likely graduate at age 16.

 

The most important change that has taken place, is that my daughter no longer has asthma. She is a socially and emotionally well-adjusted child.

 

Whereas public school is not the right option for my daughter, that doesn't make it wrong for someone else. Each child is an individual with specific needs.

Education is important and the options should be researched and weighed very carefully. Each parent has the responsibility to do what is best her their own children.

 

 

 

 

 

"Our daughter has many advantages over children who are in public schools. She does her studies in the morning and is usually finished by lunch. Then she helps me with the daycare children, and helps bake and clean, and of course, she gets to spend alot more time playing.  She is getting hands on learning as well as book studies, and will most likely graduate at age 16. "

 

You say this like it is a good thing. As one who graduated early...in fact, I was skipped a grade in primary school...I can attest to the fact that it is not. We adults tend to forget (or ignore) the fact that children have their own society and there is precious little we can do to change it. To a kid, one year is a HUGE amount of time and represents a HUGE amount of difference. To be a year or more younger than your classmates can be an enormous dividing factor, especially in the teens. When your peers are taking driver's ed, you aren't old enough to get a permit. When the dating game starts, the girl two years younger than her classmates is perceived as a "baby" rather than a peer, especially if the parents give priviledges based on age rather than grade level. Worst of all, kids hate to be shown up by those younger than themselves...if you are 14 in a classroom of 16-years olds and you're making the best marks, you can just about count on being ostracised.

 

So your daughter may graduate at 16...then what? Think about what you are dooming her to (in my case I missed a lot of fundamental math when I was skipped a grade, a problem that haunts me well into adulthood) just so you can crow about how smart your daughter is. Then sit down with your school, work out an Individualized Education Plan (every school is mandated by the government to give each child a free and appropriate education...the IEP is the vehicle, worked out by parents and educators together), find ways to supplement her education at home if necessary, BUT PUT HER BACK IN SCHOOL WITH KIDS HER OWN AGE!

 

If you don't, she's the one who will suffer the consequences of your pride.

 

 
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November 22, 2006, 11:26 pm PST

11/24 Great School Debate

Quote From: rs8180

This is sad but I have also seen moms at the public school come at lunch and bring her young children and take food off of her childs lunch.  They all shared it .  3 children and a mom eating a school lunch.  And this little girl is so smart!  but her parents don't care.

WHA???

 

No one can ascertain what this woman's motives are...

 

It could be that she was stopping in to see her child's teacher and she gave a couple of tater tots to her younger ones...

 

OR...let's just say she doesn't have money and she was feeding her other children off of her older daughter's school lunch...does that really mean she doesn't care?

 

It's wonderful that youc an recognize that SMART kids are actually in the public school system...but your assuptioms regarding the mother are baseless.

 

Bottom line...you just don't know the whole story...and here you are spewing your nonsense on a public board.  Sure...we all don't know who she is, but it's still wrong.

 

Marie

 
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November 23, 2006, 2:11 am PST

What would I say?

Quote From: laderrick

It's really not surprising that most people today don't understand how anyone can learn what they need to know without schooling. It's also not surprising (to me) that most people don't realize how dangerous and insidious a notion it is that all of us need to be institutionalized in order to be successful, to get along, or whatever. That's one of the lessons schooling teaches best - and more successfully than almost anything else! Fortunately, it's simply not true. People can and do learn what they need to know without schooling. There are many successful, sociable, joyful people who are unschooled. I am the mom of two unschooled teens . We have never done any formal schooling. I didn't sit them down and teach them to read, or to write, or to do basic math, yet they learned, because those things were part of our lives. I didn't prescribe history or science lessons, yet they delved into both with a passion, because they found them interesting. We have played games for hours on end, watched oodles of television and videos, spent much of our time with friends, gone places, done all kinds of things, and just generally created an interesting, fulfilling life for ourselves. Both of them have found ways to make money, and have found mentors in areas where they especially wanted to focus. Best of all, they have enjoyed being free human beings all of their lives. So, for all of you who believe that children should not be allowed to follow their own path, or that the adults in their lives are irresponsible or abusive for choosing to unschool, what would you say to my two happy, healthy, successful unschooled teens? Do you hold it against them that they have been able to do whatever they wanted, and yet turn out just fine?

"So, for all of you who believe that children should not be allowed to follow their own path, or that the adults in their lives are irresponsible or abusive for choosing to unschool, what would you say to my two happy, healthy, successful unschooled teens? "

 

I would say "I hope you aren't planning on being lawyers...or doctors. I hope you don't expect to get jobs as engineers or accountants or stock brokers. I hope you are prodigies in something creative, like piano, so you don't have to spend your lives working at jobs that do not require some kind of proof of education before you can be considered for employment. I hope a life as a blue-collar worker in an economy in which those kinds of jobs are rapidly dwindling, is in your life plan.

 

"Most of all, however, I hope you don't come to resent your mother when you finally realize that she did an utterly non-existent job of preparing you to be able to compete and succeed in the world you will be adults in, that instead of helping you get the credentials that will open the doors to your future, she sacrificed that future for the short term gain of giving you an irresponsible and "free" childhood."

 

And to you, Mother, I would say that with freedom comes responsibility and you have egregiously shirked yours. Your children cannot be considered "successful" because they have not yet flown the nest and succeeded in the unsheltered world that requires certain criteria...like a certain level of education...before even an interview will be granted. They have not yet taken their unschooled selves into the real world and found jobs that will independently support them...and eventually the families they will someday have.

 

Check back in 20 years and let's see just how successful a couple of kids become when they have no education and lack the credentials that employers require before they can be seriously considered for a job. And if you're going to try to tell me that there is more to life than jobs and money, don't bother...you well know they can't eat esoterics. They will need jobs to survive in the real world and the people who control those jobs want proof of the very education you have denied them.

 
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November 23, 2006, 4:01 am PST

11/24 Great School Debate

Quote From: fly1bby
Most children deeply resent staring at their Mother's all day for years on end.
---
Is that what children do with their parents during the summer holidays?  Stare at them all day?  Indeed that does sound boring.  I know I was glad when school came around when I was a kid, as the image of my mother's face burning into my brain was causing me a lot of resentment.  And that was only a couple of months!  Imagine if I had to do that for years!

All kidding aside, many homeschooling and unschooling parents expose their children to a wide variety of social environments, more willingly than they would if they just spent all day in school, because their own time with their children hasn't been gypped.

Not directed at anyone in particular, but life doesn't stop just because one cares for their own children at home.  In fact, life, for some reason, gets a little busier.
 
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November 23, 2006, 4:08 am PST

Oh my!

Quote From: fly1bby

YOu just made my point.

I believe the battle in the mind of the parent is responsible for a great deal of this 'home schooling' that goes on around the country.  What kind of hysteria made that Mother say, 'public schools are death traps'.  Your front yard is a death trap if you want to use the wrong words for everything.  The mark of the uneducated mind.

At best, there are co-op's. 

 I think home schooling occupies the Mommy's time who wonders what she will do when the kids are at school or perhaps doesn't have the initiative to work. 

She thinks she on to some Noble cause.  

Either that or she's  just too lazy to get up and get on with the routine.   We all know that's true.  The Dad, wanting to keep the peace, so he just goes along with it. 

 A prideful, ego trip carries the Mother on her journey  as she proves to the world how much smarter she and her children are going to be.  

I also see fear as a motive for home schooling.  Here in Missouri, the parents are shut out of the public school system.  Unless you completely understand the lingo, are willing to be aggressive with the teachers and above all, know that your little darling is indeed capable of doing just about anything, then the 'them against us' attitude prevails here.  It is a backward culture with strong fundamentalist preaching that's out of balance with life and reality.

 

The ideas about education here are old.  They do breed contempt.

If you take someone who did not necessarily do well in school, has low self-worth, add to that fear and you have a typical home-schooling parent.


Only 25% of the youngsters go on to get a college degree in Missouri; which, is 24th in the Nation and darn proud of it.  Home schoolers are everywhere.  Do they know as much or more as the qualified Instructors in the school?  Don't be ridiculous.

Timid, uneducated parents think they are superior by refusing to allow their children to socialize.

How else can they distinguish themselves?   It's part of the backward thinking that's prevelant.

 

Most children deeply resent staring at their Mother's all day for years on end.

Mother's are supposed to be Mother's.  Period.

We do not  have Ph.D's in Science and English and Math.  Nor are we all well traveled with a complete working knowledge of the events of the day.

The cloistered stifeling environment of home-schooling would have driven me nuts.

I would have hated it and whoever put me through it as a child.

What kind of an ego makes a Mother think she is all people and  life's experiences to her child?

I think the inablity to accept others is at the heart of home schooling. 

I loved my friends, my teachers and the learning experience.

IF there were horrible tramatic issues, as a child, as with all children, I was blissfully unaware of them.

We took our youngest son and moved to Texas while he was in Jr. High.  He did not just survive the Texas school system, he thrived, he went on to become a Scholar and is now a Dean's Scholar at OSU in Stillwater.

The other kids in our neighborhood are following typical Missouri schedules.  Deciding to join the military, then undeciding, deciding to go to college, then undeciding.

His entire class in Texas, mostly are involved in college

 His entire class in Missouri, not so good, struggling, failing.

 

 

 

 

Please, please, please do some research on the topic of homeschooling.

 

There are so many blatant lies in your post I really don't know where to begin. But, I would strongly suggest you really research the topic before forming an opinion.

 
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November 23, 2006, 4:17 am PST

11/24 Great School Debate

Quote From: amberlyn1

This is interesting, since we are not a democracy - we are a Republic.
Please go read the writings of Jefferson.
 

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November 23, 2006, 4:34 am PST

Responsible Homeschooling is possible/ It's a matter of choice

My best friend has homeschooled her children since they would have begun kindergarten.  She is a responsible homeschooling mom who researched recognized curriculum, learning styles to ensure she understood how her children would learn, she is disciplined that at the end of the school year she has attained her goals for her children's education and her children are happy.  I have my kids in public schools and they are days where I wish I didn't.  My children learn behaviors from other kids as we all don't raise our children with the same values and principle.  My children "stick" out because they have to call their teachers M. or Mrs. so so.  They are polite by saying please and thank you, they are helpfull and conscious of others cultures, and traditions.  For that they are bullied because the "norm" don't necessarily do that.  My daughter as a learning style which is not taught in school, she struggles with many things including her academic grades.  My daughter does not learn like the norm, but she is in a class of children who can learn the way it's being taught.  This means long evenings at home reviewing what was learned in school.  this year we are lucky, my daughter has a teacher who is willing to spend more time with her and acknowledges her learning style. 

 

My bestfriend has none of these issues.  I will be honest when she told me she was going to homeschool, I was concerned with the social aspect and if her kids would have friends.  I have to say that she put those fears to rest years ago.  Her children are smart, witty, polite, social.  Her son is a genius, and she's been able to provide for him academically which if he had been in school they would have bumped him up some grades, which brings us to my initial fear of socializing.  Being bumped up might have created some social boundaries and he might have been inept to handle being with older kids then his time. 

 

All this to make this point.  If parents are responsible homeschoolers and research and educate themselves as to what their children will need to function outside the home, then who are we to judge their efforts to raise their children, love their children and keep them safe.  If parents choose public school and their children are happy, and are able to retain and use their principles and values.  That they are able to function outside the home, then who are we to judge their efforts. 

 

Let's be fair Dr Phil, each family is different, each scenario is different, I hope your show will have families who are responsible homeschoolers, a family that may need guidance to become the homeschoolers they should be and examples of family who thrives in public shools and one who doesnt' .  I have faith that this will be the case, as I do not wish to loose my Faith in you.

 

Thank you,

Cyn

 
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November 23, 2006, 4:36 am PST

Free Spirit

Reading through the different posting regarding education is an eye opener as an educator, for I am the Special Education teacher in the classroom as the team teacher.  The benefit for all students is to be schooled in a structured environment, rather than let the mind travel as the home school parents seems fit.  Students learn from one another and also inspire and help each other grow for their up and coming role in society.  I have students that are unmotivated by adults, but their friends can help motivate them to succeed.  It's amazing that their peer group has such influence on their behavior, so by taking the student out of the school system to indoctrinate your opinions and ideas without regard to letting the student grow mentally, emotionally as well educationally.  Who will be there to inspire them to grow and reach their full potential if it were not for a teacher?
 
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