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Topic : 11/24 Great School Debate

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Created on : Friday, November 17, 2006, 12:57:50 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Parents want the best for their children, but what’s the best way to educate them? Dr. Phil’s guests face off in a debate about whether to school, homeschool or unschool. Dana and her husband, Joe, call themselves radical unschoolers. They say education happens as a side effect of life, and they don’t believe in tests, curriculums or grades. Are their three kids learning what they need to know? Then, RaeAnn says public schools are death traps and wants to homeschool her children. Her husband, Steve, says their kids are safer at school than they are at home. Can this couple reach a compromise? Plus, Nicole feels like an outcast at 26. She says she hated being homeschooled, and couldn’t relate to other kids. Share your thoughts here.

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November 24, 2006, 3:54 am PST

Don't assume public school teachers are great

Quote From: julie1418

Crime and bullying do NOT come from the public school system. We don't teach that as a special elective class! LOL! Crime and bullying come from people - and from kids. It's not inherent to the institution of public schools. Just because public schools have to deal with the problems of undisciplined children doesn't mean they are the CAUSE of those problems.

 

While I do not argue that private schooling or even homeschooling may be the best choice for some families, I am a bit concerned over the idea that just any parent is qualified to educate his/her children. It is a VERY serious commitment that requires time, dedication, and ability. I cannot tell you how many children are returned to public schools after parents get bored with homeschooling, and the children are woefully behind not only in academics but in social skills.

 

I know there are many homeschooling success stories, but I think it is misleading to say that any parent will be able to be successful in this area. Some simply do not have the ability, the education, the time, or a full understanding of what is required. I disagree that EVERY parent knows what is best for his/her child. If that were true, we wouldn't have the problems we have today. I know a lot of great parents, but I also have met many who absolutely SHOULD NOT homeschool.

I don't take exception to your post.

 

However, as a certified high school teacher (who taught for 9 years), I take exception to your conclusion that public school teachers are more educated to teach than everyone else. I have worked with MANY lousy public school teachers. Some didn't want to teach, but wanted summers off (etc). Some were teaching out of field (ex. a PE teacher trying to teach upper level math). Some couldn't be fired because of tenure and a teachers' union that protected every the lousiest of teacher!

 

A degree does not mean anything. My good friend homeschools and she does not have a college education. However, she loves kids, is very bright (gifted), is extremely resourceful and puts her ALL into teaching her gifted daughter.

 

And as for "social skills," hopefully you are aware of homeschooling groups AND of homeschoolers being allowed (by law) to use the public schools for things like art, music and PE.

 

School choice is needed and finding the best fit for the individual child is what should matter most.

 
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November 24, 2006, 3:57 am PST

LOOK AT THE STATS

Go to our govt's website on schooling stats and just look at the GREAT stats of homeschooling kids.

 

Again, there is not one shoe for each and every child. It depends on your child, the public school system in your area, the private schools in your area and the homeschooling networks in your area. But NEVER EVER look down upon homeschooling, because the stats say it all!

 
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November 24, 2006, 4:32 am PST

11/24 Great School Debate

Quote From: julie1418

If you want to give me a specific case to review, I will gladly look at it. I find legal cases extremely interesting. I have visited the HSDLA website. I know you won't like this, but to me, it comes off as the homeschoolers' version of the NEA. I'd rather not delve into one-sided rhetoric, but again, I will look at any specific cases you feel are relevant to our conversation.

 

Please understand that I was never under any illusion that I was responsible for any homeschooling laws or enforcement of those laws. I was simply the testing coordinator, and responsible for a task.  I believe the letters were sent to me first so I would know what to expect and what accommodations I needed to make for homeschoolers taking the test. Of the five students on my list, I only knew one of them. When I returned the testing materials to the district, I asked about the unused tests and I was told simply to document that the students did not take the test. If they had taken the test at another district school, I would have been asked to send the testing booklets to that school.

 

I inquired about the one student I knew because this was ABSOLUTELY a case of a student being home but not schooled. If you need specifics, Mom was simply avoiding the truancy laws, and the child was staying home with his teenage sister and her baby all day. I asked what would happen as a result of him not taking the test, and I was told most likely nothing. That the state would probably catch up to him eventually, but it would take a long time.

 

You asked before, "I am assuming you, and most good homeschooling parents, would want to avoid a misunderstanding or a bureaucratic mess. Am I wrong?". This is the perfect example of how not being knowledgeable of the state laws will cause a problem.

 

I guess we simply think differently. The reason the letter had the school information on it was because that child's test was at the school. I don't think I could have caused a bureaucratic mess, but I would think the parent would want to respond - if not out of a sense of accountability, perhaps out of a sense of courtesy. I have had banks and other institutions make mistakes or even simply send me information that I didn't think applied to me, I would call to question. Quite frankly, I was a bit surprised that not one parent bothered to say. "Hey, do not worry about making any accommodations for our testing, we are doing something else."

 

I do realize that knowledge is crucial, but I also realize that it is impossible to be completely knowledgeable about everything, even within a given job. I am more than happy to have a few specialized people take care of knowing all the laws pertaining to homeschooling or any other issue. When I was a school administrator, I knew how to get in touch with the people who specialized in certain areas. Notice that I didn't call the homeschoolers, report them to authorities, or bang on their doors. I simply turned over the information and asked what else was expected of me.

 

I get the sense that some homeschoolers are so militant about their beliefs that they don't understand that it simply isn't the center of everyone else's universe. My son took swimming lessons with a boy whose mother was homeschooling her children. She told me that she and other homeschooling parents in her network were pressuring the YMCA to offer a special swim class for homeschooling students; they were even considering a lawsuit. She reasoned that it was discrimination that the Y offered swimming lessons at times convenient for public school kids, therefore, it should offer lessons at time convenient for the homeschoolers. I find that incredibly self-involved.

 

 Aack! LOL, you're still not getting it. I'm really trying to get you to understand the law here so that you can be informed on the situation.

 

If they had taken the test at another district school, I would have been asked to send the testing booklets to that school.

 

The homeschoolers are not required to test in a school. There is no way you can honestly say they didn't test.

 

I get the sense that some homeschoolers are so militant about their beliefs that they don't understand that it simply isn't the center of everyone else's universe.

 

Not at all! There are times when homeschoolers interact with the local public schools. These interactions are created by the local public school either by phone or letter. Is it too much to ask the school to be knowledgeable of the state laws before they contact homeschoolers? I don't think so.

 

In the end here is my point, you were led to believe that the homeschoolers in your district did not take the test. This assumption led to a negative feeling about the homeschoolers for not testing. But you had no way of knowing if they tested or not. A simple look at the state laws would have allowed you to completely shut out that assumption and would not bias your feelings about the homeschoolers in your district.

 

Really, this is much less about homeschoolers and more about  knowing state school laws.

You can be sure homeschoolers know the law. We have to.

 
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November 24, 2006, 4:51 am PST

11/24 Great School Debate

(from the slideshow)
"I think that teaching has to be a two-way street. If the child’s not interested in what they’re being taught, basically somebody talking in the front of the room, it’s like throwing marshmallows at somebody’s head and calling it eating," Dayna replies."

----

Dayna has a point.  In highschool, what type of student I was thought of was a completely different story from teacher to teacher.  To some of my teachers I was enthusiastic and engaging, to other teachers I was a complete zone-out, and to others I was a "good student that dutifully did my work".  And all of them were correct in their assessments of me.  I apologize to the teachers who worked very hard to try to interest me in material but I stubbornly refused to even show the slightest bit of interest, except to maybe laugh at a joke they cracked)  It must have been frustrating.  I know they tried every way they could think of to present the material they had to teach in ways that hopefully enthused all students.  I'll clean up the marshmallows (grin)

I am sure I am not unique in the fact that even as an adult there are some things, no matter how they are presented, I have to consciously force myself to listen end to end to take in the entire thing and then show that I've at least heard the presenter.   But for other things, it's obvious I'm in it for the joy of it.  I think it's part of being human, and children, being a part of said species by birth, are no different.

I know many students who work hard, and cram for tests and then, once the test is done, they're relieved because they no longer have to obsess about said subject - they'll even forget it or block it out by the next day. 

However when it's a test they're interested in, they're not cramming, as the material on the test is old news - they're looking for ways to excel in the "extra credit" questions with fervor and enthusiasm.

 
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November 24, 2006, 4:55 am PST

11/24 Great School Debate

Quote From: julie1418

If you want to give me a specific case to review, I will gladly look at it. I find legal cases extremely interesting. I have visited the HSDLA website. I know you won't like this, but to me, it comes off as the homeschoolers' version of the NEA. I'd rather not delve into one-sided rhetoric, but again, I will look at any specific cases you feel are relevant to our conversation.

 

Please understand that I was never under any illusion that I was responsible for any homeschooling laws or enforcement of those laws. I was simply the testing coordinator, and responsible for a task.  I believe the letters were sent to me first so I would know what to expect and what accommodations I needed to make for homeschoolers taking the test. Of the five students on my list, I only knew one of them. When I returned the testing materials to the district, I asked about the unused tests and I was told simply to document that the students did not take the test. If they had taken the test at another district school, I would have been asked to send the testing booklets to that school.

 

I inquired about the one student I knew because this was ABSOLUTELY a case of a student being home but not schooled. If you need specifics, Mom was simply avoiding the truancy laws, and the child was staying home with his teenage sister and her baby all day. I asked what would happen as a result of him not taking the test, and I was told most likely nothing. That the state would probably catch up to him eventually, but it would take a long time.

 

You asked before, "I am assuming you, and most good homeschooling parents, would want to avoid a misunderstanding or a bureaucratic mess. Am I wrong?". This is the perfect example of how not being knowledgeable of the state laws will cause a problem.

 

I guess we simply think differently. The reason the letter had the school information on it was because that child's test was at the school. I don't think I could have caused a bureaucratic mess, but I would think the parent would want to respond - if not out of a sense of accountability, perhaps out of a sense of courtesy. I have had banks and other institutions make mistakes or even simply send me information that I didn't think applied to me, I would call to question. Quite frankly, I was a bit surprised that not one parent bothered to say. "Hey, do not worry about making any accommodations for our testing, we are doing something else."

 

I do realize that knowledge is crucial, but I also realize that it is impossible to be completely knowledgeable about everything, even within a given job. I am more than happy to have a few specialized people take care of knowing all the laws pertaining to homeschooling or any other issue. When I was a school administrator, I knew how to get in touch with the people who specialized in certain areas. Notice that I didn't call the homeschoolers, report them to authorities, or bang on their doors. I simply turned over the information and asked what else was expected of me.

 

I get the sense that some homeschoolers are so militant about their beliefs that they don't understand that it simply isn't the center of everyone else's universe. My son took swimming lessons with a boy whose mother was homeschooling her children. She told me that she and other homeschooling parents in her network were pressuring the YMCA to offer a special swim class for homeschooling students; they were even considering a lawsuit. She reasoned that it was discrimination that the Y offered swimming lessons at times convenient for public school kids, therefore, it should offer lessons at time convenient for the homeschoolers. I find that incredibly self-involved.

 

If you want to give me a specific case to review, I will gladly look at it. I find legal cases extremely interesting. I have visited the HSDLA website.

 

This case is an excellent example of the situation we were just discussing. The local school district was not knowledgeable of the state laws and as such imposed illegal demands.

 

School District Perpetuates False Homeschool Deadlines

A Florida member family alerted the Home School Legal Defense Association of a notice they found on the Orange County Public Schools website on April 20, 2006. The notice was to "Home Education Families."

Besides listing the various requirements for homeschoolers operating under the home education statute in Florida, the notice also stated that, "results of annual evaluations/test scores may be submitted to the Office of Home Education during the period of May 17-June 30, 2006." The notice further says that if homeschoolers "cannot meet this deadline, PLEASE NOTIFY THIS OFFICE IN WRITING."

This particular requirement is incorrect. According to state law, there is no specific deadline for submitting evaluations/test scores to the district.

HSLDA sent a letter to the author of this notice explaining that the Florida homeschool law does not impose any other deadline for submitting the evaluation to the county. Therefore, the county has no authority to impose additional requirements or deadlines for when the evaluations must be submitted.

Consequently, home education families may disregard the deadline requirement for evaluations currently posted on the Home Education Notice in the Orange County Website.

This type of situation is not unusual. Other counties in Florida routinely set false deadlines for the annual evaluation. All Florida homeschoolers, regardless of the county they live in, need to be aware that such deadlines are not required. The only actual requirement in the statute is "annual."

Therefore, homeschoolers operating under the Florida homeschool law may submit test scores or evaluations any time within the one-year period after they began home schooling and every year thereafter.

 
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November 24, 2006, 5:05 am PST

being taught is different than learning

"...my children are most certainly not uneducated, just unschooled."  —laderrick

 

That is an important distinction. Another one is the difference between learning and being taught.

 

Some of the recent posts on this board seem to be recognizing the dissimilarity of these, (which I find encouraging.) 

 

The discussion of parent/teachers has been too voluminous for me to have kept up with all the posts; but as I've read & skimmed the bulk of them, there hasn't been much discussion of the roles & responsibility of student/learners.

 

Success depends not solely on ability, but also upon the character, willingness and motivation of a child to learn.  (If there are any grad students out there trying to pick a thesis or dissertation topic, listen up for a suggestion—)  I'd like to be able to find some studies on how classroom and non-classroom environments affect a child's motivation.  

 

All I have to go on is anecdotal evidence, but among my children and those of the homeschoolers I know, I'm seeing about one third to one half who do draw motivation by comparison to others; most of these kids would probably do OK in a classroom. I see maybe a fourth who seem to be built motivated; and I'd guess these kids could do OK despite a classroom.  I see a handful which would be overwhelmed by too much comparison or competition and would give up.  A classroom environment would be a disaster for these kids. And I see another handful of largely unmotivated or narrowly motivated kids. These kids are a challenge for parents; and it seems as if they are ignored in the typical classroom unless there are also disruptive behavior issues.

 

Structure seems to motivate some kids a great deal while less structure seems to stimulate others.  Odd, isn't it?

 

*  *  *  *  *  *  *

 

As a long-term home educator, most of the opposition I have encountered comes from people who really need a lot of structure and rigidity in their own lives. They seem to have a hard time trusting that anyone else could be responsible without some system or structure telling them what to do. I feel sorry for them.

 

`

 

 
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November 24, 2006, 5:21 am PST

Addressing "socialization".

I frequently see and hear the word "socialization" being thrown around like a mantra, yet those same people seem befuddled when I ask them for a clear definition.

To me, socialization is being able to associate with people from different walks of life, regardless of age. (Isn't that what adults who are not in school, who often have to associate with many people, are expected to do?), it's finding friendships and having working relationships with said friends, as well as people they may encounter at work, family functions, the grocery store.

I was once asked by a friend "what do I do" with my children, and in describing the many things we encounter on a typical day, many of them social, I would still receive the question "but what about socialization?"

One thing I've learned is that human beings, even the most introverted among us, are social creatures.  We seek out interaction with people.  My children are no exception.  They get socialization because they are naturally driven to seek out peers (ok, defining peers here - peers are not limited to birth year - they are people who are on the same page as them and who can relate to them). 

It's a natural, human compulsion!

To narrowly define socialization education as being in a classroom with other kids their own age is a very tiny fraction of what interaction learning is all about.  I know for myself, I did not particularly "learn socialization" when I was in the classroom.  In fact, I was quite unprepared for the fact that the real world was inherently different from a school classroom.  I made friends more readily and easily as an adult out of school, because there weren't all the childish criteria to meet first.  We were just real with each other due to interests and chosen fields of work, etc.

What good also, is having children excel in the field of getting along with their classmates if they come home and lip off their parents? (for example).  Getting along with parents, relatives, and siblings is also an important part of socialization.  I mean after all, during the summer holidays that is one's home base :)  There is more to socialization than being able to get along with classmates.

I don't know what form of  homeschooling the guest Nicole encountered, but it sounds like she didn't have enough access to other children growing up.  For myself, and our own children, it's not even an issue because we live in a suburban neighbourhood and many young children live on our block, and we're the only homeschoolers on our street!  But their friends are in public school, private school, and some are not old enough to go to school yet :)

 
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November 24, 2006, 5:43 am PST

11/24 Great School Debate

violetamy wrote: 

"And to you, Mother, I would say that with freedom comes responsibility and you have egregiously shirked yours. Your children cannot be considered "successful" because they have not yet flown the nest and succeeded in the unsheltered world that requires certain criteria...like a certain level of education...before even an interview will be granted. They have not yet taken their unschooled selves into the real world and found jobs that will independently support them...and eventually the families they will someday have." 

--- 


 

My husband graduated public school with excellent grades, yet still lived at home while attending university.  Leaving home and spending money which he didn't have is not the only benchmark of "successful".  His continuing to live at home in that time was a sign of frugality and responsibility, not a sign of lack of maturity.


 

My unschooled friend got accepted to higher education to pursue a career as a paramedic, a passion he'd been studying independently (nobody had to prod him) and obsessively since childhood.  His portfolio and interview showed he had what it takes to pursue the new material being taught him, and he was accepted. 
 


 

So unschooled people can indeed "fly the coop".  Parents provide parenting.  Parenting is more than providing food and shelter, it's ensuring they have all the tools they'll need throughout their whole lives, whether they do it "at home" or not.  Unschooling is not un-parenting.  It's hands-on and interactive.   It'd be awfully boring to sit around doing nothing all day, for both the parent AND the child, and call it "unschooling"... unfortunately, that's how it's been defined.
 


 

 

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November 24, 2006, 6:17 am PST

11/24 Great School Debate

Quote From: kschmittz

My husband and I are very "concerned" with our children's education, therefore, we moved to a higher end area with good public schools.  My oldest son is 8 and in 3rd grade.   He is almost a year younger than most of the other kids as their Moms kept them back a year.  He is doing above average work and not having any issues.  I think there is A LOT of mis-understanding about public schools.  First, in my son's class there are LESS kids than the average area's private schools.  Next, there are boudaries set by the district on w hat they can teach your child that do not exist in private school.  In private school (I found this out after we checked out private schools and from a teacher) they can teach whatever they see fit.  Also, it is up to the parent to be involved in their child's education.  If you see your child is struggling in any way, then go to the teacher and work something out.  Public school has a multitude of programs to assist you and with the "NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND" there's really no excuse (learning disability or whatever) to not have your child succeed.  We have what is called a 504 plan for my son.  Basically, it is a legal document that will follow him through High School.  I can dicatate (if need be) every move/action the teacher makes in regards to my son.  It is NOT that way now but the option exists.  This is available to all parents at any public school.  Last, I can claim all you do about my son's public school.  That is why we are "dishing out the money" to live in a nice area.  Therefore, the crime and bullying you speak of really isn't an issue where we live.   If it does happen, then my son will take care of it with help from his Dad and I.  I think a lot of people are very mis-guided about not only private school but homeschooling and unschooling as well.  Part of education is not just academics.  There is so much more.  In today's world, there is very little chance for self-sufficiency without a decent education.  Also, you need to have skills beyond that.  If you can't deal with people or situations that may come up in life (like bullying) you are not likely to have a lot of job offers.  In a public school setting, although not perfect, there is much more to learn on a social level.  You learn to wait your turn, respect others and that there are consequences for your actions that can affect your whole class.  Anyone who thinks the majority of private schools kids are perfect, think again.  When I was young, these were among the most wild of us all.  They just had the $$ to get out of most any trouble. 

 

All in all, a good education can come from a good public school.  I agree, not all are good.  There are some even in my district I would not send my kids to.  That is why my hubby and I are very careful if we decided to buy another house in this area.  We want to make sure we stay within school lines that we like.  Also, if a parent expects the school to teach everything to their child then they are in error.  I am in my son's class every week helping out.  No, I am not  Room Mom every year but I am there.  I have been on Field Trips and helped out with parties and such.  I consider myself lucky to be able to do this even though I work full time.  There is academic education which I believe needs to be done by people who are qualified- someone with teaching credentials. For what it's worth, I also believe anyone who homeschools/unschools should have these same credentials. Then there  is the other edcuation which is about life.  This is up to parents. 

 

Last, don't assume every kid in public school has parents who don't care.  Just as you assume this there are people who assume things about you and your choices.  You are not the only parent who is involved in your child's life the way you are.  I have many many friends who are teachers in public schools and I can tell you they are far more trained than anyone realizes.  They are concerned and they do teach every child no matter how big their class is.  Also, in public school in 1st and 2nd grade the class size has to be UNDER 20 kids...again lower than most private schools.  My friends also say their biggest battle is not teaching the kids but dealing with parents.  Food for thought. 

You indicated with No Child Left Behind and the programs instituted now at schools that there is "no excuse" for even "learning disabled" children not to succeed in a public school.  While these programs at the schools are wonderful, and my children have participated in them, the reason this is not an accurate statement is because some children have neurological problems that must be fixed before any program will cause a child to succeed in school--be it public or homeschool setting.  You cannot simply pour even more water into a pot with a hole in the bottom expecting the result to the different.

 

By way of example, if a child is left ear dominant and right eye dominant, no amount of continuous reading through reading clubs or other programs is going to fix that neurological confusion. Public schools are simply not required to resolve that, nor should they be responsible for doing so.  Your state has the 504, others have an IEP (individualized education plan).  Yes, a parent can request multiple services for their children using these documents/rights.  In my state, the school being asked to provide services has the right to refuse services a parent might think are necessary for their child to succeed on the basis that it is not a necessary service for the child's education.  For example, a parent may request at the IEP (as it is in my state) end of school year meeting that their child receive occupational therapy for a weak handgrip which results in poor, difficult, labored handwriting which will profoundly impact that child for the rest of his/her life, but most importantly demotivates a child to engage in writing at school.  The school can choose to deny those services on the grounds that the child can actually write.  Therefore, there are reasons for children not to succeed with the public school programs, and to suggest that a child with these problems is better off in public schools versus homeschooling is simply not accurate.

 

I am sure you are not trying to say that a child must endure bullying tactics at school to get a good job.  I am also sure you are not saying that only public schools can teach social skills or consequences for actions.  I think it is well-settled even herein that is not the case.

 

With regard to a family's decision to homeschool, a typical toddler takes in information at lightning speed, learns, digests that information within minutes, and moves on to the next conquest.  That doesn't change when they reach the age of 5 or 6.  However, at the age of 5 or 6, they enter public school and are then asked to sit quietly and spend 15 minutes learning about a frog.  This example is not an indictment of a public school.  Rather, it reveals a learning method which is one of the many reasons people may choose to homeschool their children.

 

I am glad you are finding wonderful success in public schools for your children.  I am finding great success for my children through homeschooling.

 

 
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November 24, 2006, 6:28 am PST

11/24 Great School Debate

laderrick wrote:
"First, there is nothing irresponsible about being free, or protecting our children's freedom. In fact, that is one of our primary responsibilities as parents and citizens."
---

Indeed.  What I've learned over the years, and the primary reason I don't talk much about unschooling in my off-line life, is that the idea that people not only thrive, but succeed and excel in their chosen path through unoffical means bothers people a great deal.  The idea that people can and do accomplish that baffles people, and people don't like to have their long term beliefs shaken up.

Many unschoolers I know do indeed possess the credentials they need to enter a specialized learning after graduation.  There are many I know who write their high-school equivalency test when they want to enter, and for them it's just a formality, not something they have to cram for, to get that piece of paper.  Others demonstrate their credentials through a portolio of what they've been working on and experiencing their whole lives.

Regardless of whether a child is educated in a public school or at home, their natural, core, biological drive is going to dictate what they ultimately retain and integrate into their lives.  Many unschoolers recognize this and help them develop the things they know they want to be.

The idea that an unschooler sits around all day and does nothing is a myth and a fallacy.  What healthy individuals, adult or children, would tolerate that and not demand something different?  Maybe those outside the situation compare what unschoolers do outside of a school setting to what their children, when home from school, do outside of a school setting?  Yah, used to go home from school and unwind after a busy day, too.  But busy days are indeed part and parcel of an unschooler's life.



 
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