Topic : 11/24 Great School Debate

In reading your thoughts, I noted several grammatical, spelling and syntax errors.  How will you be able to teach your children proper writing skills, when this is not your strong area?

I wonder how you could have accessed that my daughter will suffer the consequence of my pride.

 

If you  had read my entire post, then you would know that the teachers and staff at the  public school in our district did nothing to help my child sociallly, nor was my daughter being taught on her academic level. She was NOT mainstreamed with children her age while in kindergarten. She felt alone. The anxiety and stress of being sent from class to class and having no stability at school, caused severe asthmatic symptoms. Remember that I stated how my daughter missed recess and field trips due to being taken to different classrooms fo reading and math. She was NOT able to play with children her age in that setting. She was not playing at all.

 

Due to my daughter being homeschooled, she not only socailizes with children her own age (in church groups, dance, taekwondo, learning cooperatives etc.), but she is also able to communicate very well with older children, adults and younger children. She is profiting greatly from her homeschooling experience. My daughter is not lacking in socialization, and she is asthma-free.

 

I am not an uneducated person. I have worked in the child-care profession for years.Having 2 adult children and a grandchild, I am fully aware that the government mandates an education for all children. Anyone who owns a home and pays property or real estate taxes is also aware that public education is not  free. Public Education is funded by the taxes we pay.

 

I do know how to communicate with teachers and para educators concerning the needs of my children. 

 

Ultimately It is the responsibility of the parents to choose the educational plan that suits their own children. 

 

I question how you would have been advanced a grade during elementary school, yet  missed the fundamentals of math in that grade. Obviously, the school you attended committed a great injustice.   As a parent of a homeschooled child, I can assure that what happened to you, will not happen to my daughter. I am directly involved in my child's education and know exactly what she has mastered and what she needs more work on.

 

My mother homeschooled me from 5th to 8th grade.  I made the decision to go back to a regular school in high school (I was in private regular school from preschool through 4th grades).  I went to a private Catholic High School.  While I had some really good experiences, and I learned a lot, I wouldn't trade the wonderful experiences I had those 4 years for anything.

My younger brother was homeschooled from kindergarten through high school.  He had a wide variety of opportunities opened to him.  He began piano at age 5 (because he desperately wanted to learn) and now he's an incredible musician (he's nearly 21, and going to a private college on the East Coast) he plays so many instruments I can't keep track of them.  He's taken fencing lessons, he's always had WAY MORE friends than me--with an ability to choose who they are.  The guy has this amazing ability to make friends, and he's never set foot into a formal educational atmosphere before college.  He's doing fantastic in college--almost perfect GPA.  He's on scholarship at his college (full one everything paid for).  Very articulate, well rounded, completely talented, smarter than most kids I know, and has so many friends I can't say that the social part of homeschool was EVER lacking in his life.  (He even went to Prom because he was dating a girl who went to a private Catholic high school, so he never missed that, not that it even mattered to him, he isn't much for dances!)

I think it depends on the kid and I think it depends on the parent.  In some ways I wish I had been homeschooled longer, in other ways I got a lot out of my schooling, however, with my own kids, I plan to start out with homeschooling...there's so many opportunties for homeschooling parents where I live (including homeschooling groups) that I want to take advantage of those chances that they might not have otherwise.  I remember fondly the field trips we took (Valley Forge being one of them).  We went so many places and learned so much, things became not just something I read in a book, but REAL to me.

I am a Second Grade teacher in MS.  I attended public school from first grade until graduation.  I turned out okay.  I see students everyday with a limited experience background, so in my classroom I work to give them every opportunity that I can that they might not experience at home.  There is nothing wrong with public school!  I am surprised that someone would not want their child to have every experience that they can have.  My daughter Callie, 3, attends a preschool at the high school in the city where I teach.  Up until this year she stayed at home with her grandmother.  My husband and I decided that she needed to be with other children before she started Kindergarten.  She LOVES it!!  She is safe and protected by her teachers, so I am never worried about her.  She started in August and has already had so many experiences.  There is NOTHING wrong with public school.

I think each parent must make the smartest choice for their own children.  No one else knows them better (not even the public school teacher) - at least that's the way it should be.  I think the choice of schooling depends on three main factors: 1) the parents a)abilities b)belief system c) time availability; 2) the children a) how they relate to others b) their best learning situation c) any learning difficulties they may have; and 3) the community a) the school system b) learning situations available c) socialization opportunities outside the school - whether they are home schooled or not.

 

Let's face it, some school districts are better than others, and some parents are better at handling their children than others.  Some communities have more opportunities all around than others.

 

In my own case, my two girls started in public schools - a good community and what I thought was a good school district.  However, when my girls were in fith grade and freshman in high school, I was no longer allowed to volunteer in the classrooms or even observe what was going on or being taught.  It was at this time my fifth grader started having trouble at school - lying, stealing, etc., and I could not get a clear picture of the reasons from her or the teachers.  She obviously was having socialization problems at school (being made fun of, retreating from participation in activities, etc.), even though she socialized just fine with other children in the neighborhood.  I also was constantly having to reteach her at home the things she was suppose to have learned at school.  In addition, I learned of some things being taught in school that I did not want my children taught.  My high schooler brought home words to songs that she was learning in choir, and I was shocked at their content.  I asked some specific questions and learned of other things going on at school functions that I didn't like and learned about the pregnacy rate of the girls in the school.  With all these things converging at once, and after some research, I decided to pull my kids out of school and teach them at home.  This was in the early 80's and it was not accepted well, but, after all, I was trained to be a teacher myself.  I have since learned of all the great training and lessons available today so that anyone can teach their children.  My children advanced more quickly in their studies at home and became better adjusted socially.  I was able to give them more personal attention, and apply their lessons to their daily life, which made them more eager to learn.  When a fire engine came roaring down the street and we saw smoke coming from a nearby condo, we grabbed pads and pencils and ran down to the site of the fire.  Each child took notes on their observations and feelings, and later wrote a news report about the incident.  I corrected their English and made suggestions to make it better.  Most of the time, however, they had structured studies.  As they grew older, they were able to do other activities that other children were not able to do during the day, as long as they got their work done some time during the day.  They learned to manage their time effectively in order to do what they wanted.  Both girls returned to a private school for their senior year of high school.  One was a member of the queens court, and the other was on the volleyball team.  They didn't seem to miss much.  They are both now well adjusted women.  One works at a college, and the other works at a hospital and has given me two wonderful grandchilren.

 

However, I know that everyone's situation is different.  I also know it is much easier and there are more opportunities in home schooling today.  That's why I say everyone has to make their own smart choice in the education of their children.  I was a little concerned, Dr. Phil, that you gave a slanted view, and did not show any of the advantages of home schooling.  There are some, you know, even though it certainly isn't right for everyone.

Your analogy is flawed. For the vast majority of our children's health problems we don't take them to a doctor. The scrapes, the flus, the sprains, the sore tummies and all of the preventative care like hygiene and nutritious foods that maintain health are dealt with by parents, not doctors. We don't turn our children over to doctors for 5 or 6 hours a day to ensure their health. I'm sort of surprised by the opposition of teachers on the show and here. In my personal experience it's been the teachers I know that have been most excited and supportive of my decision to unschool my kids.

Have you ever tried to unseat a tenured teacher who bullies the children verbally, has been observed by her superior to have done this, and still she keeps her job? It has happened to several children of homeschooled parents that I know. If that is socially acceptable behavior, then the problem isn't with our children.

 

Tenure is a problem.

 I was glad to see that today's participants remained calm, and that moderation was fair to everyone and rational.

As a retired public school teacher, I am a solid proponent of public education.  Where else can students have access to certified specialists in so many subject areas?

Many parents who keep their children out of public school do so out of fear that they will be in some sort of danger at school, or tainted by "riff-raff" or because they want to control their children's lifves by isolating them from any other influences.  They keep them at home through elementary grades, and sometimes decide to send them to public school for the first time when they reach middle school age.  Better late than never, but then, when they arrive at school, the "No Child Left Behind" law rears its ugly head, and the teacher has to spend an inordinate amount of time playing catch-up and filling in gaps in knowledge that other children already have.  A common foundation to build on is important for passing along our culture.l  So their first experience in school might not be a good one, if the rest of the class has a lot of information that is new to the previously home-school student.  Or they send them to school until middle school when they start getting in trouble, blame the school for their problems, and say they're going to home-school.  If the children are unruly, parents become frustrated and have no tools or education or access to special services to solve the problem like the schools have.

I have known several fine home-schooling families.  Their children have been admitted to selective universities and have graduated in less time than it takes many public school products.  But these families are the exceptions.  Usually, both parents are certified teachers, and very focused and energetic in educating their children.  Every day.  Not just once in a while.

Public school teachers in my state (and I can't speak for other states) must meet standards of certification, attend hours of inservice and continuing education, and conform to legislative guidelines.  I am concerned that home-schoolers and unschoolers do not have the same credentials.  Now that I am retired, I see many parents and children out shopping during public school hours.  Maybe that's part of the curriculum.  Math?  Consumer science?  Convenience?

Students need to be exposed to the diverse group of our population which is represented in our public schools, so they can make decisions about what qualities to look for in friends.  Then, when they are thrust into a world away from their protective parents they won't be without independent survival skills.

I know that in New York State, we parents pay for the test. We have the choice from a list of tests of which one they should take.

 

I posted earlier today a list of regulations regarding tests and the administration of them in our state. I don't agree with the regulations on the administration of the tests.

The one thing I must say is it's amazing to me how so many people have so many opinions on issues they really know nothing about. Educators condemn homeschooling or unschooled because, I believe, the concept is foreign to them. Those who homeschool look cross eyed at those unschooled and vice versa. Now, this is NOT true in every case but for the most part, every one has their own belief system on what works. And no one has any right to tell others they are right or wrong. This issue is obviously not black or white and no one should force opinions as if it were.

 

I am a homeschooling Mom. I've done it for 8 years, and have three sons, grades 8, 5, and 2. There were several reasons I chose to homeschool. I'll name a few. 1) I wanted to be in charge of my child's education. Not that public schools, etc. would be worse per say, it was just something that I wanted to guide and direct. 2) Security at schools is a concern. One of the comments on the show, and that I've heard before, is "it's dangerous to put your child in a car but you do it" (paraphrasing). That really is an obsurd comment. There are risks in life every day; no doubt about that. Some risks you have to take, as in getting in a car on a daily basis, some you don't. But nonetheless, ridiculous analogies should be left unsaid. 3) I know best my childs ability to learn and the technique that works the best. Teachers may be skilled to "teach" but they still have to conform to every chiild in that class. Those who are smarter and learn quicker in some cases may be left to themselves becasue of the teachers need to spend more time with the slower learners. 4) Sending children off to school at such a young age was a difficult concept to me. Children at such a young age, their minds soak up so much and I felt as a parent it was my responsiblity to make sure what my children saw, heard, was taught, etc., should be from me. Not another adult, parent or classmate. I felt the foundation of my children had to be built by me and no one else.

 

I don't believe all aspects of life can be taught in any kind of schooling. I do believe children need structure AND balance in all areas of life. For our family, we have a structured school day. We have books, tests, etc., as in traditional schooling. I also keep accurate grades for each subject and a total GPA for each school year. Yes, our typical school day may be shorter than traditional schools, and one member commented that it was a bad thing, but when there are only 3 children working, it's much different than 25 or 30. More work is completed in less time. This is what works for our family and may not work well for others. But I must make clear....it DOES NOT mean we are in any way enabling our children!!

 

As a side note, our son will be a freshman in high school next year. We are already discussing with him if he'd like to go. There are things in public schools I do believe can be a benefit to teen age children. Even though I was not particulary fond of school, there are some things I was glad I was able to participate in, and would gladly give my children the same opportunity if that's what they choose.  I just believe that solid foundation has to be established before you just let loose and throw your children out into the world and say "learn, it's a bad, bad world and you have to know how to deal with everyone". Again, not all things are learned in school.

 

I just have one short comment to make on every one who keeps throwning the "lack of socialization" opinion around if you do not attend a traditional school. It really is hogwash and just shows the ignorance of those with that opinion. It goes back to my first comment about it being a foreign concept". Don't jump in with your close minded opinions that being in a tradition school is the only way our children will learn. There is a world of opportunities out there for socialization. You are the ones limiting children, not those who choose an alternative schooling technique.

 

I guess the bottom line fo rme is this....don't give opinions on something you know nothing about. Even if you know someone who is schooling a particular way and you think those children are behind, you can't base your whole opinion on one or two cases. Even though I home school, most parents I know send their children to public school. And even though I'm pretty educated on the public school system, I don't bad mouth, speak down or riducule them for their choices. This is a country of a vase array of opportunities and no one should be condemned for how they feel is the right or appropriate way of taking advantage of those opportunities.