Topic : 11/24 Great School Debate

I am the mother of 3, my oldest is 5, a homeschooled Kindergartener.

 

I use a structured curriculum, and associate with other families and children quite often.

 

A few things that upset me about the episode, is when talking about socialization, the teachers, and people against homeschooling kept saying *you only have them around other kids who homeschool, and that doesnt socialize them*. I think, well, yes, my kids are mainly at this point, around others who homeschool, but each family does things differently at home. Just like, if they were in a class room all day with 30 other kids, who are all public schooled, they all do different things at home. My children are exposed to the day to day lives of people from different backgrounds and cultures, and can get that benefit without being in a classroom for 8 hrs a day.

 

I personally don't like the idea of unschooling, I know a woman whose children werent reading until they were 12 and 13, and thought that was success. I do think that structure is what makes my household flow. My 5 and 3 year old can even fold and put away their own laundry. They have chores, expectations, deadlines, and rewards. Sure, if at 9am Kenzie isnt feeling like doing school we can table it until after lunch, but honestly, I have a hard time keeping her from jumping ahead, and doing more than what is on the agenda in any given day.

 

I don't think that homeschooling is the be all and end all. And I don't believe that it is for everyone. But to categorically say that public school is the ONLY way is ridiculous. I feel for that young woman who feels she was let down by being homeschooled..... and maybe her parents should have listened to her more, especially in those high school years. But I know many adults who were homeschooled, and are productive and happy adults. Harvard, Yale, Cornell, Princeton..... these universities RECRUIT homeschoolers..... so lets look at some positives as well.

 I agree, what goes on in my household is not even close to that! In fact everyone thinks I'm way too strict and have way too many rules for my kids.  My kids have chores to do, a schedule to follow, and we have many many rules in our house. They are NOT allowed to eat and watch tv when they want, they have to ask before they can have anything to eat or drink besides fruit, milk and water(those 3 things I allow them to have as much as they want)....and tv and video games are only allowed when they have earned them by working hard on their school work. They have a bedtime of 8:00 on weeknights and 9:00 on weekends, which is actually earlier then most public school kids their age.

 

Folks, that family was not even close to what homeschooling families are, they were unschooling which is completely different.

 

 

I am a mother of three children. I have two that have already graduated from public schools.

I have a daughter that is 15 and I have chosen to have her learn at home and here is my story.

 

My daughter is very smart and friendly. This is a long story that I will not share but I am so thankful that we decided to learn at home. I am a single mother and on a tight budget. My daughter is learning MORE than she ever did in school. SHe is taking all of the required subjects. plus more and she chose great electives. We are using a good daily structure and I do NOT teach my child. I make sure that she is on top of her classes and she is taught with CD roms that I purchased with Switched on Schoolhouse. I am very happy with it. She has real teachers with this system and test and she has assigned projects! I also make sure that she is involved in groups for socialization. She is also amazed at how much more work she can do now at home. No travel, no changing classes, and no more peer pressure.  It is my job to make sure that she is taking all the subjects needed to attend college. It is my job to make sure she completes her daily classes, makes good grades, and completes her testing.

In her school she was exposed to oral sex, sex, alcohol and drugs. It broke my heart and I WILL NOT allow this to happen to my child at such a young age. I do not want her exposed to this or the peer pressure. It is there and it is real. You better think twice if you have blinders on and think it is not in your child's school. This topic has been on many talk shows and programs this year.

It makes me sick that the children can get away with such behavior. Was my child safe at public school? NO

While it is true that when she gets older she may be exposed to this type of thing,  but she will be older and wiser and able to make her own choices to do the right thing. She is not old enough now.

 

I was bullied when I was in school and hated it. I loved the classes it was the children and things I was exposed to. But it was never this bad.

 

So that is why my daughter is very happy now and learning at home.  My daughter is ahead of schedule and will graduate early and start college earlier than her friends in traditional school. So I am very excited about this!

You can't predict the future. There are millions of homeschooled children who are now very successful adults. The famous motocross racer, Davi Millsaps, and the administrator of Oak Meadow School in Vermont are two successful homeschooled students that come to mind. I can come up with a whole list for you who are successful and who do not work at McDonald's.  Many people are homeschooled who are children of famous actors and actresses due to the fact that they travel so much. There are a variety of reasons for choosing this path.

 

The personal attacks that you typed here are part of the reason many people choose to homeschool. If this is an example of the socialization that high school students demonstrate today, it's just another good reason to homeschool.

What "socialization" skills are Home-schoolers missing out on?

 

Drugs, Alcohol, many other criminal activities that millions of other public school kids are engaged in. Then there is the depression from bullying, teasing, guns, bomb scares(not limited to big schools either) and rich-kid cliques.   No thanks, Dr. Phil, you missed the boat on this one.

Aside  - "BUTT paste" is the sponsoring product for this episode??? We don't even use that word in my family, although we love the Broadway smash "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" in which one lyric goes "pouring out my ass" -- context counts not just in word choice but in schooling and also unschooling.

I've been teacher-certified for 30 years, lots of public school experience and a well-used education doctorate. But my own kids have been radically unschooled at home with no regrets (theirs or mine.) .There is no one best way, and no one should be able to decide for other people's children, absent real abuse or criminal endangerment.

An education is something each child creatively constructs, not some standard dose of something inflicted on the child by law or social pressure in one-size-fits-all form. And education freedom is not about unions, political parties, conformity or opinion polls, wild guesses or personal prejudices. I feel for the couple on today's show who does not agree about education and each are "adamant" about what to require of the children. They are doomed to fail as parents no matter what they do.  In my opinion - but then I'm just a professional public school educator, what do I really know about them? :)

I wish the show's producers had chosen to feature older kids who were always unschooled and academically brilliant, like mine (now 16 and 11). Was it intentional that only these very young unschooled children were shown? At 15, my always unschooled daughter chose to start taking college courses in the things she loved most -- English, literature, forensics, theatre and humanities, etc - and has a perfect 4.0 average. (No SAT needed.)  Her professors love her. She was not in school because she wanted not to be, and not she is on campus (all the time1) because she wants to be. I couldn't be prouder of her choices and accomplishments and who she is, then OR now.

Bottom line is that kids who do well, do well no matter what. Those who don't, are not being well served, no matter what. It's not about what we make them do but what we inspire them to do, how we help them learn to be self-sufficient as productive community members who  make good choices.  America needs all kids to learn and grow as is best for THEM, not submitting to socialism or forcing others to submit. Families are the alpha and the omega. Government is second best, a safety net but not abundance for anyone, much less for all.

 I have done both with my daughter. Both of my children like school for the social aspect, but my daughter came home one year and said "I can't hear myself think in that class." She was right, and the school would not transfer her to another classroom without moving a currently happy child out of that classroom into the noisy one.  So I took my child and went home.  She had a great year, learned more about math and science than was taught at school, learned to read for enjoyment instead of to fill out a list the teacher could check off, learned cursive, when her Public School  counterparts did not, did a report on the Twelve Labors of Hercules on her own initiative, mummified apples, researched ancient egypt and the pyramids, etc. We baked (fractions), programmed robots, found different ways to carbonate soda, biked, hiked, and she went back to school the next year (her choice)  in far better academic shape than many of her peers.  She has had two years of great teachers since.  It just depends on what you are getting. 

Both of my children had miserable Kindergarten and first grade experiences for different reasons than most of the posters here-the teachers wanted too much.  The used a first grade curriculum in K and a second grade one in first.  No surprise than in this affluent area, 25% of every class we have been in have children that were held back a year by their parents so they'd be learning the proper level for their age, and not be behind. 

My son is dysgraphic, the school had no idea what to do until I told them.  The kid tests at 4th grade level comprehension and no teacher can get that, because he cannot write.  The district won't help, because they don't understand what dysgraphia is (call him ADHD, then they can help you-Don't think so!) We fought, and finally won, and we did it BECAUSE he likes public school.  When he doesn't (for good cause), I'll homeschool him.

Bottom line, if your child is getting a good education, and you like the school and your child likes the school, you're good to go.  If it's not working, try something else, home school, unschool, whatever works for EVERYONE in your family.  Don't rule out homeschool, unschool until you try, same with public school if your child wants it.  It's not about a rigid position, it's about what is best for your children.  Not every teacher is good for every child, including their own mother and/or father.

He doesn't provide links to these studies. I can't take it seriously anyway. If this society were honestly concerned with the mental health of teenagers we wouldn't gloss over issues of bullying and social cliques as just 'things kids have to learn to deal with.'

Exactly.  We'd find mentors if necessary.  I have a network of people I can call on should my kids need things beyond my expertise.  But between their dad and I, they have more than the basics covered. :)

 

And, my daughter loves fish.  I don't know diddly about them.  But we foster that love by renting videos, visiting the aquarium, talking with people with salt water tanks, taking care of our Bettas and fresh water tanks, etc.  If I need to know about anything fish or marine mammal related, I ask my daughter!

 

A few months ago she was asking me how to spell narwhal, and I'm like what?  And she says, you know, the whale with the long tooth that looks like a swordfish, sort of.  Uh, no.  So we google it and found the spelling and some cool pics.  And now I know what a narwhal is.  Did you?

Look for the real homeschooling statistics:

The National Home Education Research Institute  - www.nheri.org

Home School Legal Defense Association - www.hslda.org

 

Also books like - The Successful Homeschool Family Handbook by Dr. Raymond and Dorothy Moore

Dorothy is a world class reading and curriculum specialist with many honors.  Dr. Raymond Moore began teaching in 1933. He taught college and was a principal and superintendent of city schools in California.  He was a Programs Officer for the US Office of Education.