Topic : 11/24 Great School Debate

We are currently home schooling my grandson, who was removed from the public school system twice. Each time, he was pulled out because of the violence on the play ground. We went to his teacher, his principal, and the school district, all of whom believed the playground was governed by the "law of the jungle" and children need to sort out their pecking order. Sorry, but when a child comes home with a black eye one week, followed by a knot on their head the next, and then choke marks on their throat, the "law of the jungle" needs governing. Please understand, my grandson NEVER complained about all of this, HE was willing to tough things out, we were NOT. Before we pulled him out of the public system I went to his school and worked in the classroom, to observe and be of assistance. What I saw bothered me greatly- teachers who do not possess basic grammar skills, books glorifying witchcraft, students who disrupt the class because no one ever taught them how to sit down and shut up, and teachers who didn't control them. It went on and on.

My grandson uses most of the same books used in the public school, BUT use those books at HIS level, advancing 2-3 grade levels each year, because HE no longer is given busy work, while the slower students occupy the teachers attention. Each year he requires less supervision-it is maturity, and it is expected.

Testing is very important to us, and he is tested every other year, and has consistently scored in the 99th percentile Nationwide, which is the highest  level student can achieve. Home schooling works, IF the parent(s) are willing to put in the necessary effort. The public school system is a mess, teachers are teaching THEIR morality, and ignoring  the basics. They teach to "the test" and their students suffer.

Dr. Phil, when you went to school things were different, when I went to school things were different, today, schools are a breeding ground for mediocrity. Please, present the whole picture, these unschoolers are missing the boat (IMHO) and giving Home schoolers a bad name.

Thank you so much for bringing this point up. It is a key!  I remember when my oldest came home and told me that we evolved. I had to point out that I believed that God made it that way.

I can say now that he is finishing his confirmation class even though he was taught about evolution. We just talked about our believes at home. But, this can be confusing to a child.

Your child's education is solely your responsibility.  If you find your local public schools to be right for your child than great.  However, I know a lot of parents who put their 6 year old on the bus and never think about it again until it's time to collect them at the end of the day.  Some parents never meet their child's teacher.  Some meet the teacher one time and then never check in.  YOUR CHILD"S EDUCATION IS YOUR RESPOSIBLITY.  If your child is in public school and doing well and you are not at the school for at least one hour a week, or if you don't e-mail your teacher at least once a week....what roll are you playing????   How does your child know that an education is important to you?  Do you know what special area your kids go to on Wednesday?  Who's their music teacher?  when is the last time you asked your child about their day?  When is the last time you got more than a half-hearted "ok"?  If your child is struggling, you need to be even more dedicated.  I know a lot of good teachers and let me tell you in two or three years they will scarcley remember your child's name. 

If you decide that home-schooling your child is in their best interest ask yourself these questions. Do I know what the standards are?  What are local children at the public school learning about this week?   Will my child do well in a conversation about real things with other people?  Am I giving my child a sense of community?  Do I listen to my child?  Do I ask them how they feel about home-school?  Does my child think I am doing a good job?  Does my child feel she is missing anything?

Personally I think that most people's idea of socialization is a joke.   As my daughter put it "when I go out to work one day I won’t be in a big room with 25 other people all the same age as me.  I will need to be able to communicate with people older and younger than myself and understand how each person views the world in their own way."  Besides, I have put a lot of time into a lot of schools and let me tell you...kids do not have very much time at all to 'socialize' during the school day.   That's why they are always running home to call their friends and then begging you to have a friend over or go to their friend’s house.   

When my daughter was young she went to a private school, then we moved to a great school district and she went to public school, unfortunately we just recently had to relocate and we have found the schools here to be sad and unable to meet our children's needs, so now we home-school.  Having done all three I can say with certainty that home-schooling is very hard, very rewarding and the best option for my children.  Neither I, nor my children, feel that they are missing out on anything....least of all socialization.

I despise the current state of affairs with public education.  I categorically refuse to send anyone, let alone any kids I may have someday, to a situation where 30% of all enrolled students fail to graduate for one reason or another (yes, that's from Oprah). 

It wouldn't be so bad if we weren't all forced to pay for it. 

But since I am paying for it, that makes me a customer.  I may be single, but I'm a customer - one with absolutely no say in what is taught in school and how.  I'm also a businessman, and one thing I learned from being an entreprenuer is to expect the best quality for one's money.  For my money, I want to see every student get at least a 3.9 GPA and be able to get 1500 on the SATs, and be able to perform on demand to MY satisfaction.  Otherwise, I don't want to pay for it anymore. 

That may sound unreasonable, but given that, as a taxpayer, I'm currently paying for everyone going to public school whether they go or not, I am suddenly fiscally responsible for every student.  If they aren't meeting my expectations, I want to stop sending my money to these schools.  It's not right anyway that people are forced to pay for education in this country anyway.  No one has a right to an education (read the Constitution).  Education is a privilege that is earned, both by those that pay for it and those that work hard to become educated. 

If I had one child I sent him to school, knowing I'm investing time and money in his education, I would make certain that he got straight As and a perfect SAT score.  If I sent him to a public school, and I didn't like the school for any reason, nothing I could do or say would change the situation to my satisfaction because the school's going to get their money.  I could pull my child out of that public institution, but that wouldn't change anything because the school's still going to get my tax money, even if I send him to a private school or homeschool him. 

Schools that have to compete for customer money, on the other hand, would be far more interested in what a parent has to say if he's got a problem.  If a parent takes a child out of a private school because of a problem, the school loses revenue.  Because of this, private schools and charter schools that are customer driven consistently outperform public school results by leaps and bounds. 

I have to agree that unschooling is not the best way for children to learn. This is my second year for homeschooling my 13 year old. My son has attended 5 different schools and we have not moved.But becasue of his anxiety and ADD schools have not been able to help him.  he has not attempted suiside he has said that he has contimplated it  he has had no friends in school and I have tried everything i could to encourage freindships. Last year I had invited the whole class 20 students to a pool party only 4 boys showed up. My son said that he handed out the invitations to all the kids. Then this year I put him in a new charter school but again because of panic attacks and his anxiety i had to pull hem I then put him in the local public school but they did not seem interested in helping him the principel was even overheard to say I have an other perent telling me how to do my job.  That is when I decided that it was best to home school him.  I work full time and he does his work when I am at work then I correct it when I get home and we go over anything that he did not understand. He does his math on the computer and attends a math tutoring class twice a week. I am hoping that when he starts  high school he will be able to attend an altertantive school or even a regular school. With his councelling and meds that is my dream but if it is not to be there are charter school on the internet that he will be able to attend

Please understand that I am NOT against homeschooling. In any schooling method, the parents are an important factor. As a parent, you should not discount the huge influence, for better or worse, that you have over your children's future.

... if parent's had control... we would not be having this discussion.  Because then we would have public schools we could be proud of!

You obviously have not met the same parents I have met. I have met some phenomenal parents to be sure. I have also met parents who show up at school with billows of pot smoke flowing out of the car. I have had to physically pull a few parents off their kids to keep them from hurting their kids. I have had to call CPS when a student described to me how she witnessed her mother's suicide attempt. I have had parents blatantly tell me they did not want there children to associate with any member of ...fill in the ethnic group. I have sat in the school at midnight with a middle school student whose parent had dropped him off at the dance and never came back for him.

Then there are the parents I never got to meet. They never show up for parents' night, they blow off scheduled conferences, and sometimes they have no working phone number. I had a student who was violently ill at school, and not one bit of information on his forms was correct. I had to drive the neighborhood knocking on neighbors doors to try to track down someone to care about the child.

Tell you what, I won't pretend schools are without flaws and you don't pretend parents are without flaws.

The lack of diversity on the show disappointed me greatly.

Un- and home-schoolers appear to be [upper] middle class white folks who have in-tact marriages that enable the mother to stay at home.  So this is the real world, eh?!  No single-parent families?  Nobody but white folks available?!

As a divorced single mom (but with a doctorate and 20+ years of public school teaching), I know that home-schooling my son is simply not an economic option--nor for most single parents. 

Tonight's show, while supposedly presenting the polarity of the great school debate, simply showed choices that in-tact, two-parent families make. 

Now how 'bout showing the real school issues facing other real Americans, esp. single parents?