Topic : 11/24 Great School Debate

Isn't it wonderful to live in a country where we have choices and have the opportunity to raise our kids without the government intruding on us? I am soooo thankful that parents have the freedom to take care of their kids and that we don't have to raise them to fit the mold that some dictator has set.

Yes, unforutunately there are those who abuse their kids, believe me, I know all about that, I lived it! And for those people, there ha me, I have witnessed that one as well for I was in the system that failed my own family, but thank God I was able to make it, but for those who believe that homeschoolers should be checked on, sorry, but if tif they have to be checked on then I think EVERY parent should be check up on, what about the stay at home parnet? O my, there must be abuse going on there, for we do not have our kids in daycare for others to take care. and what about those parents who pull their kids out of school for whatever reason, sure, they call thier kids in when they are gonna miss, but who says they are telling the truth? O my, they must be abusing thier kids!

And for those who say that homeschoolers are selfish for not sending thier kids to the public school, well others must be selfish as well, for afterall, they have handed their kids over to someone elses care for 61/2 hours (that's how long my daughter is in school), We must be selfish because we don't have to be responsible for our kids during this time.

WHATEVER! Of course I am a firm believer in good parenting and believet hat most parents are good parents who want the best for their kids. Too bad that not all parents have the partetning skills or the desire to do what is right for thier kids, but Let's get over it. We all don't think alike and we don't all do things the same way, we all have differnet opinions and though we may disagree, one thing that we can agree on is the fact that no one or no system is perfect because no person is perfect and since the parent knows their kids better then any one else, they should be the ones to make the decissions for thier kids to help them grow and mature and to become the greatest adult possible, Education is imporant and it is also imporant that parents help their kids receive the best education possible and becuase they know their children and their needs, they would know what system to put them in. I chose private schooling for now, becuase I like the school, the  small class size, the curriculum, the Biblical teachings, nd whatever else, and I am thankful that I was the one able to choose and not the government coming into my home and invading my space.

Better be careful on who we accuse of abuse and being selfish, for with those attitudes, good, honest, loving people have been ruined as well as good, solid homes been broken up and for those who are so agaist homeschooling, like it or not, you gotta look around and see that it is a growing trend and at this rate, it isn't gonna go anywhere but up, so why not pitch in and be supportive instead of getting so out of whacka bout something that you are against. ALl systems, I believe has it's pros and cons, therefore it is up tot he parents to weigh things out and figure out what would benefit their child the most and of course I think taking time to evaluate and communicate with our children is also very imporant. My daughter is attending school becuase she loves the classroom setting and wanted to go, she is only five and I considered her little thoughts and I sought out my options and went with my gut feeling, and believe me, I would change it if I see fit, for my daughters best interest is what I have at heart, that's the way I bleieve it should be.

I say if it works, then some one must be doing a great job, others don't have to agree with us but to call some one selfish, abusive or whatever is just plain wrong and just as bad as some one who does these things, it' s nothing but accusations and based on opinions. For the teachers out htere, don't worry about what system parents have chosen, you have enough on your plate without being offended and upset over their choices, Get over it, not every one benefits fromt he system, sorry but it's the truth. not every one benefits from homeschooling, so parents keep your eyes and mind open, it's your child's future at stake here.

I am one proud American who has rights as a parent because I know my kids best.

BUT if a parent does their job to its fullest then PS works perfectly!  If a parent has nurtured, involved themselves actively, encouraged, and just plain parented, then public school works. 

 

I don't have much patience for the repetitive arguments (God bless those of you who keep trying- truly!)  but I have to comment on this.

 

A parent can do EVERYTHING right or at least the best to his or her ability and still have a failure at school. And even if every school did its job to the fullest (which many do not) it would still be far from working perfectly.  I agree with what someone else said - no wonder things are the way they are -  people won't even consider the fact that the system just might have problems!

I asked several people who are very adamantly against HS why if PS works so well is my son struggling so much? His teacher  said " he works so hard it seems like his grades should be better" I do my part he does his and I believe the teachers do theirs but he simply does better in a one on one environment - as many kids do. Can a school meet those needs? Of course not. So, do I allow him to continue to be mediocre in the perfect PS system or do I try to stabilize his shaky foundation by giving him some intensive one on one? Thus, giving him what he needs to be successful at school in the future or in life.

Oh I know I should deny him the sports and activities he participates in so we can spend those times working on these weak areas. But wait... what about socialization?...I wouldn't want my PS child to lack socialization skills like all those homeschoolers.

Your statement implies that because my son is not thriving in the public school that I must not be parenting properly...poo I say! You don't know me and I resent your statement. This board is full of stories from parents who do infact do their job to the fullest and still have children who don't do well within the PS system.  You seem to take it personally. Can't you just understand that it doesn't work for everyon? I don't blame  all teachers for the failures of the system, neither do the majority of the people on this board,  so why do you lay the problems entirely on the parents?

I also asked about having children questioned by police in school - I found out the hard way a few years ago that our kids have no rights while they are in a public school. I was shocked to find out it is legal for the district to have police come into the school and question a child without a parent's consent or knowledge. Works perfectly for whom?!

 

 A parent is never selfish but can be a little overboard with protection at times but that isn't a total bad thing unless you are only homeschooling/unschooling for that reason.

 

  You see, about the selfish thing, a parent could do the exact same thing with going to school and not just with homeschooling.

A parent could be selfish in a way where they feel it more so easy to put their kids in school so someone else can teach them.

  A parent and child learning together is a wonderful thing because the parents learn new things too.

Although, Homeschooling can be as much work as public school, so most parents feel as if they wouldn't be the best person to educate their child or maybe they don't have the time.

But of course, learing together can happen everyday in everyway and not just school.

 In that case, if you still really wanted to homeschool your children, you could always find a nice homeschooling group with a few parents who are willing to teach a few kids and take them on trips and such learning adventures.

 

 And not all parents who homeschool/unschool their children are as uneducated as you might say.

 My old friend's mother is a great teacher in a school but she homeschooled her children.

And, parents aren't dumb. They went to school too.

So, that means they can teach their children as much as they know and also there are great books (math, science, history, etc) that teachers use in their class that parents can use with their children.

 

Over all, I say it depends on the family and how the child learns.

 

LOL! When I was typing that I was thinking this guy is probably dead or something ;-)

But yeah  - you get my point - some "experts" of sorts.

I think the couple on the show who radically unschool are going to raise lazy, selfish, unmotivated children and adults.

 

Disagree.  Imagine a hotel where radically unschooled teens are free to go where they choose and do what they want.  It's happened again and again at unschooling conferences.  Guess what?  The hotels want them back.  Anyone who has ever had a child (and a 5 year old) has likely experienced a few less-than-stellar moments, no matter what the parenting style.  I also know that articles in the media and TV shows can be edited to show what the producers want.

 

I haven't met Dayna's kids but mine are being raised the same way.  Got that million dollars?  I could use it to fund my retirement.  My kids don't feel that it's all about them.  They're coming from a place where their needs are met and respected (yes, many parents don't respect their kids' needs as legitimate.  I'm a product of the 'get over it' style of parenting, myself), and they, in turn, respect the needs of others.  Our house is more of a collaboration, where we all work together so all of our needs get met.  Including mine (I'm a single mom).  They're not sneaky, they don't backtalk, and their uncle (we live with my brother) likes having them around.  I'm sure he'd kick us out if they were obnoxious, unruly, self-centered brats who were trashing his house.

 

It's really sad that some parents don't see what bruised souls their raising by blaming, shaming, and punishing their children.

 

My ex-SIL had a sign hanging in her kitchen for her kids that read:  OBEDIENCE: Cheerfully, Immediately, Completely.  That, to me, is the ultimate in scary parenting.

I wish I knew what to say.  You don't know how much this compliment means to me.  I am by no means, nor have I always been this way, nor is it even my first impulse.  I did not always respond to people this way.  I used to impulsively be defensive and argumentative.  I've grown and changed profoundly over the few years of unschooling, among other blessed things in my life.  I'm truly humbled and thankful for your compliment and will treasure it forever.  Thank you.

Plus, I oftentimes genuinely want to know what lies behind people's thought patterns.  Sometimes in a true discussion I've often been amazed at how much common ground lies between people, even if the methodology is unsurprisingly different.

Do you truly believe that the footage you were shown was uncut and unedited, shown in its authentic form?

I admire Dayna and Joe and what they talked about on their guest spot of Dr. Phil.  They were truly inspiring to me in many ways.

Your 9 month old understood the concept of "fragile"?  Maybe my daughter is behind, because this is a concept she is barely understanding at age 2.

 

Not right at 9 months, but by constant reinforcement.  Every time he handled something fragile.  Every time he wanted to press the button for the CD ROM drawer.  Praising him when he handled things gently (like the pets!).  They do get it.

 

I've found that by allowing them to satisfy their curiosity, they move on to something else.  Had I forbidden that CD-ROM drawer, I can bet that my tenacious toddler (and he is tenacious by all stretches of the imagination, LOL) he would have found some way to play with that drawer when I wasn't looking and may have even damaged it.  The forbidden fruit syndrome.  They seem to always want what they can't have.

It'd be so nice if we all just had a list of pros and cons about homeschooling, unschooling, public schooling and private schooling wouldn't it?

 

:( I suppose one man's con is another man's pro.

Single parent and raising your children so beautifully!  I wish I had the patience back then, myself, that you clearly exhibit with your children.

And yeah, I would be very curious to see what they left on the cutting room floor :)  Dayna and Joe uncut would likely have given the visual presentation quite a different effect.

But I saw through that, and saw joy and peace on Dayna's face as she described her relationship with her children.  It radiated.