Topic : 11/24 Great School Debate

I was just gonna get ready to turn off my computer when I read your post.

 

I'm a substitute teacher in the public school system and have been for over 7 years. I love being in the classroom setting. My children, both 31 and 33 years old, went to parochial and public schools. I know very little about home-schooling and unschooling.  

 

As an educator (I'm also a social worker and a high school basketball referee and baseball/softball umpire) I take great interest in teaching kids and even listening to their concerns and viewpoints. I feel like a student, myself, when I hear some of the profound things they express.

 

I'm kind of disturbed that you, as an educator and who's been around 10 years would be so highly critical of parents who choose to teach their very own children at home. For me, an education is an education, regardless of the setting, in school, at home or otherwise. Who am I to judge another parent's preference in education for their child? Heck, I don't even know what the future hold for any child regardless of their educational background. Obviously, there are pros and there are cons. I know that parents who choose to educate their child at home, just like parents who chose public schools,  have carefully  weighed their options. They are not gonna gamble with their child's education. Whatever they think works best for them is good enough for me. I'm leaving it alone.

 

It's hard for me to swallow your analysis about parental selfishness, self-satisfaction, parental control, lack of parental-confidence,  and that these parents are uneducated. I agree with you that if parents do their job to the fullest, public schools will work. I also happen to believe that it will work the exact same way if a parent chooses to home-school their child.

 

It is appalling that you, as a teacher and as a parent, would refer to home-schooling parents as "small minded people". It's no wonder that half of your teaching was in public school.

 

I'm gonna sign me off as an educator who does not reflect this post's viewpoint. I have more dignity and respect for education.  Peace

 

Usually, receptive language comes before productive language. If a parent spends time explaining and showing their children something, they come to learn it. They will start to use the words the parents use. Some kids learn quickly and some more slowly but they all do learn.

 

I have a dd and a ds. My dd learned the concept of fragile very quickly. She also had very good fine motor skills for her age so she was able to take care of small, fragile objects when she held them.  On the other hand, my ds wanted to try out things to see how they would behave in a variety of circumstances--and he had a developmental delay with fine-motor skills. We had to teach him not to touch fragile objects that belonged to someone else. We also provided him with objects that he could experiment with since he was inclined to do so. (These do not have to be expensive--we used pots and pans, a 'sand' box using rice or beans in a storage bin, bathtub toys etc.)

 

My point is that I am not surprised that a 9 month old learned the concept right away. Neither am I surprised that a two year old could still be in the process of just getting it! Each child is different, has different learning needs and different learning rates.

 

And, although I do not 'unschool' myself (we homeschool using a classical and eclectic model)--I think it is important to recognize that parents who unschool are still teaching their kids all day. They can't help it! Kids are programmed to learn and are learning all time. Kids who go to school are learning when they are not in school, too. Every parent dreads the day when the kids demonstrate that they have learned some unflattering behavior from their parents! :)  

 

By the way, I love the term 'forbidden fruit syndrome.' My son was particularly prone to it in his toddler years because he was very visual and tactal in his learning and that is how he figures out the world! He took apart complex objects (the clock, his crib, the radio) and the more we said 'no' the more desirable the activity became. So we provided him with objects to take apart. It did not completely solve the problem--we still had to teach him to respect the property of others--and we had to show him how to use the really interesting stuff! LOL

 

Elisheva

 

 

And

 

You can already see that behavior on the film clip...

 

Wow--one 30 second film clip and we know everything about how these kids will turn out!

 

In the universe I inhabit, no child (or adult) is perfect. We all have our tired, whiny, moments and we all express negative emotions sometimes. (e.g. see the post I am quoting).

 

As I was raising my oldest, there were many times when I was sure that every mistake I made would 'doom' her to the predictions above. However, my own mother reminded me that 'Rome was not built in a day.' In time, with creative parenting (often defined as trying to keep one step ahead of the kid), they do learn that the universe does not revolve around them. At least most of the time! I know that when I am sick, really tired, over-involved etc. I occasionally regress to a younger age, too. Luckily, I am 46 and can choose to regroup--having been taught those skills by loving parents and grandparents.

 

I did put up a sign in my kitchen that said: Rome was not built in a day!'

I did remind myself of the wisdom of Tarphon who said over 2000 years ago: 'The work is great and the day is drawing on toward evening...Yet it is not up to us to complete the task, neither are we free to desist from it.'

 

My oldest is now 21, and, Thank G-d, I can breathe a sigh of relief. I have done the job to the best of my ability and she turned out alright. She is going to dental school next year and wants to help people. Sometimes, especially at final exam time, she does forget that the world does not revolve around her. But she wants to help people and she is a positive, upbeat  person with a zest for life. She is not perfect--Thank goodness! How could I live with that?

 

So when we judge the behavior of a 5 year old whose routine has been altered by filming and who may be 'overdone' or whatever, I think it is important to remember that that is a tiny aspect of who that kid is at the moment and probably is not predictive of the future in any important way.

 

The mom seemed peaceful and seemed to enjoy her kids overall. Perhaps she knows that 'Rome was not built in a day.'

 

Elisheva

 

NM

 

 

Fredi,

     Most states require parents to have their child tested , or at the very least show progess to a certified teacher.  The curriculum that is out there is written for homeschoolers by college professors, retired school teachers and the like. The curriculum really teaches itself most of the time.  There are great resources out there to help a parent study up on a subject area before teaching it, and there are many internet tutors and homeschool co-op classes that are taught by someone who is an expert in that subject.  So I thought your whole post was rather laughable and once again proved the point that people love to comment on things they know next to nothing about. Just because a teacher has a certificate in a subject, does not automatically mean they are good at teaching it themselves. I consider myself a loving parent, not an egg donor!  If we homeschooling parents are soo under qualified, than why are our children beating the pants off of so many PS kids consistantly??  I'm willing to bet that there are probably not too many high school drop outs out there that ,number one, appreciated that comment, and number two, homeschool their kids.

Whether to Public, Home, or No School, it ALL falls squarely on the parents.  Your child will react to the world in just the way you guide and prepare them for it.  This includes dealing with bullies in life (they aren't only in public school).  There are plenty of bullies in the workplace, at the grocery store, heck a huge number of them on the freeways and roadways.  These difficult people we have to deal with in life behave that way because their Parents allowed them to be.  this is because the parents were either that way too or they permitted the child to bully other children and adults.  It falls on the parents... the buck stops with us.

 

I give the Home schooling parents a lot of credit, that is a huge undertaking and a very responsible job in my book.  These parents are taking their own children's education totally in their hands and what a huge responsibility if you find that it's just more than you can handle.  I would hope that they could recognize if they have been mistaken in how much dedication and discipline it takes the parent (not to mention the kids) to succeed in homeschool programs.  

 

I'm sure a lot of Home Schooling parents bite off more than they can chew with this endeavor.  A lot of emotions will run crazy trying to get your kids to do something that you know they can do, but they are just not in the mood and of course they know they can push their own parents to the limit.  I am hopful that these parents recognize when they may have bitten off more than they can chew and get their kids into a school before they fall too far behind.  That was the worst feeling in the world to me when I was a kid, being behind and struggling to catch up. 

 

Good luck parents; it's all on you; so be willing to make the sacrifices you have to in order to secure a great future for your children.  Even if it involves acknowledging that you were wrong. 

 

PS.  If your kids are ever being bullied, go straight to that kids parents and have a talk with them and work it out.  That's the only way to stop the bad behavior.  Also, teach your kids how to deal with a child who is bullying them.  There are many successful ways to deal with this problem, but ignoring it and telling your child that it is just the way it is in school is not a solution.

 

::::::::Her 5 year old demanding a bottle,:::::::::

 

I have the episode recorded and Dayna's 5 year old NEVER demanded a bottle, ever. So before you try to make these kids look "bratty", think about the fact that if that was the worst  "behavior" of Dayna and Joes kids, than that speaks volumes! They are doing something right! If there was worse behavior your darn sure they would have added that to the footage!

 

Yeah, I'd say out of about a week's worth of possible footage, if that's the worst they can do, they did extremely well!

If you are asking if you should take on the job of raising them, I don't know, that would be a really hard decision.  But if you are asking if you can homeschool, you may surprise yourself if you try.  Can the 10 yr old read and write or are you saying he's been "unschooled"?  As far as the parents go - it sounds like they have some real issues that you didn't mention (substance abuse perhaps?).   One has to wonder why they don't have jobs or homes, there's a reason for it and often it could have been prevented but sometimes not.  The kids should not have to be raised in such an environment. Their needs are not being met, the parents are not parenting.

 

As far as legal issues, some states have grandparents laws, you should check to see if yours does.

 

Many children thrive when they live in a real home where things are consistant and they are free and comfortable knowing what the next day brings. 

I'm a parent and my son is still crawling but I definitely have thought about his future more and more.  I would love to be able to home school my son when it comes to that point, but am I qualified?  I believe in order for a parent to home school their child, you can't just think, "I think I can do it".  The next most important thing to a child's home life is their education.  You really have to know whether or not you can handle it and be able to teach them the elements that they need if you want them to have a decent education.  Unless you know or have learned all the fields that they are to study, then hey why not?  But sometimes, do you know enough?  What if your child has a higher level of learning than you thought?  What do you do?  You can't try to catch up.  When a child is put into public or private school, they can be advanced to a higher class.  If the child is being home schooled, what do you do then?  When I was in school, I did pretty good in almost all of my classes.  Math and depending what type of science, was my downfall.  If I am not confident in my own learning abilities in certain subjects, i'm not going to try and be their teacher.  I can be their teacher in other ways as every parent should be. 

But parents also homeschool their children because they worry about whether the schools really are safe.  The shootings in the past years and months have definitely made me more cautious but where is it really safe anymore?  You can't always be there 24/7 or else your child will never be able to be independent.  Everyone is their own person.  Even if you home school your child, they need to have some social interaction with people especially in their age group. 

I support the school system in their work to educate the children.  But I also give props to parents that have given their children an education thru homeschooling.  So I guess it all depends on us, the parents.  Whether we feel we are qualified for the job.

 We have been home schooling our children for over 7 years.  I think that everyone should decide what is best for their own family.  All parents should be encouraged to evaluate what is best for the children that they have been blessed with and not be pressured one way or another regarding having them at public, private school or  to home educate.  Parents that love and care deeply for their own children have the right and responsibility to decide what is best for them regarding all aspects of their life and development. 
As for the argument about "socialization"  I would have to say that all the home schooled children that I know are very well socialized, extremely polite, caring and respectful to people of all ages.  There are more opportunities than hours in a day for all the group activities that are available through the local home school networks.  Personally, we are involved in swimming lessons, art lessons, Martial arts, gymnastics, PE class, girls scouts, church, volunteer work at senior centers and a homeless shelter, 4-H, as well as field trips with other home school families and we meet weekly with a group of about 50 other home school kids for enrichment classes and activities.  If our children were in a public or private school, we would not be able to do half of these things because we would just not have the time. 
Two of our children are "labeled" as severely Dyslexic.  On the state achievement tests, they have scored at or above their grade level in all their subjects.  The mostly one-on-one environment of Homeschooling has helped them excel when most children with this issue fall behind.
In conclusion, I think that parents that take the time to know their own children, spend time with them, care about them and love them sacrificially should not be condemned and demeaned just because you do not agree with their decision for their own children's education.  Every parent has the right and responsibility to decide what form of education is best for their own children no matter if it is a government public school, private school or home educating.  This is true Freedom of Choice.