I have never posted on a message board before, but after today's episode, my conscience wouldn't rest until I did.
I am concerned that pushing Tecoa and Sarah so hard will sabatoge their recoveries. I am a heroin addict who has been clean & sober for more than 5 years now. I will never go back. It is not an option. I was 24 when I got clean, so I can really identify with the two girls.
If I had been pushed that hard during withdrawal, I would have used again or committed suicide. Suicide is pretty common among recovering heroin addicts, so it is especially important that things be done right. Thank God I wasn't in the Dr. Phil house because I'd probably be dead now. This is the first time I haven't agreed with nearly everything Dr. Phil said.
I was extremely fortunate to have a family that understood that I needed to sleep for about 6 months. I did things at my own pace, which was extremely slow. But doing things that way lead to a recovery that has lasted.
It was extremely difficult for my parents watching me lie on the couch with my back to them all the time. And, I really felt for the mother who wanted reassurance from Tecoa. But she is the one who needs the reassurance now. To say Tecoa isn't serious is absurd. For a heroin addict to not be using heroin is proof that she is serious. Unless you have been there, you cannot understand how hard it is to stay where you are and not use. It is a fight, lying there. It takes everything you've got.
There is only ONE way for Tecoa to meet these impossible demands right now. That is to put heroin back in her body so she can function. This is how an addict thinks. The only times when my recovery has been in peril have been when people have expected me to do things I just don't have the energy to do. Cravings start. Temptations come.
Showing Tecoa and Sarah that they are doing good work by being on the show and not using would be so much more effective than undermining the work they are doing.
Sarah said the right things to Tecoa on today's show. What she said was true, and Tecoa needed to hear that she was okay where she was. She needed to hear that she was doing a good job, that just because she didn't jump up out of bed like a new woman all of the sudden, didn't mean she was a failure. Sarah was not enabling her sister- She was protecting her.
Recovery is possible, even from heroin and crack. But addicts need support. They need a positive environment and they need as little stress as possible until their brains return to normal. And, as soon as possible, they need to learn how to deal with life's stresses in healthy ways. Some of us need psychiatric care. Almost all of us need therapy. But withdrawal isn't the time for all of that.
Is that hard for the family? YES. Is it unfair for their mother? ABSOLUTELY! But having a family that gave me the room I needed to grow saved my life. I am so grateful for them and everything they have done. And, I am sorry for worrying them and putting them through so much grief. I feel these things now. But in withdrawal, generally, it isn't in you to apologize or give reassurance. You are blessed if you have it in you to fight. It is awful for the family. I highly recommend support groups for family members and friends. But for the addict, you have to be patient and let her become the person you knew before. Pressure will only lead to bad things.
If anyone out there has friends or family going through withdrawal, please be more supportive than this show is telling you to be. It can be a matter of life or death.
Thanks for reading this and hopefully considering it. My heart and prayers are with this family and all others in recovery.
Dr. Phil continues his work with twin sisters who are addicted to heroin and spiraling out of control. The Dr. Phil House has become the detox center for Sarah, who is monitored medically as she goes through painful withdrawal symptoms from her addiction to crack cocaine and heroin. Her sister, Tecoa, has only been clean for two weeks, and struggles to deal with her own drug cravings while six months pregnant and providing support for her detoxing sibling. Is she able to fight off the cravings or does she give in? And, is Tecoa sabotaging Dr. Phil’s efforts to get Sarah clean? While her daughters deal with their addictions, Cindy tries to learn the fine line between supporting and enabling. Dr. Phil meets with the entire family and shows the twins a look into their future, depending on the decisions they make now. Is it enough to scare them straight? Share your thoughts here.
