Topic : Is This Normal Social Discussion

Sometimes life is just so damn unfair.  Those poor girls, my heart just aches for them.  They are in my thoughts, as you always are as well.

 

<<<<<<Hugs>>>>>

 

Loretta

That's just horrible. *shaking head* You have to wonder what it is that brings people to the point where not living is a better solution. Especially when there are young kids involved. And she's already having problems with depression. Gosh. Wish I could be there to hold you.   *hugs*

Thanks for your thoughts.  It is a terrible thing.  I can't imagine what was going through the  BIL's mind.  Certainly he wasn't a favorite person in this neck of the woods.  But it seems that, from what I've heard, he was controlled all his life by his mother.  In fact, it was his mother who encouraged him to to marry Sister (sorry, I don't feel it's right to use their names) when Sister and his mother were working together.  Years later, the mother insisted that he divorce her.  I can't help thinking that BIL was so far off track in his life, that he had no idea how to fix it.  He was claiming a disability, but that has been in question for some time.  Living with his parents, away from his daughters, who I'm sure he loved dearly, not working... what must his future have looked like?  Still, it's hard for me to ever understand how someone could put their children through that.  And I'm pretty sure that Ralph and Sister won't get a very warm welcome in OR.  In fact, I'm guessing that they'll be hearing that it was their fault, or at least Sister's, that this happened.

 

Yuck, yuck, yuck.  My only hope is that this tragedy will put to rest the settlement issue and finally allow everyone go move on.  But will it be possible for those two beautiful girls to move on....?

 

::sigh::

First Trace, dang it I just sent you and email! lol So you can just read it when you get back. =P Anyway have a wonderful trip and dang it you better wave if you fly over Atlanta otw to Palm Springs! hehe

 

Kelly! Sorry to hear you have been sick. Has to be rather scary when your blood sugar goes up like that. =(

I'm just so glad you are ok. Please take care of yourself!!

 

Kak, good to see you dear! Do your ears burn? Do you have any idea how often you are mentioned in my house? Lots!! All good of course!  Sorry the test gave you such kooky readings. =/ Maybe it just means you are woman of all seasons!! =)  And yes I am seriously considering an etiquette book. ;)

 

Neecie, I have no words that can touch that. Like you I can't imagine what must go through anyone's mind who attempts suicide. I think not much really, I can only mark it up to some kind of mental illness that leads a person to such a state of mind.

 

So sorry for those girls, it will be difficult, even on the ex too. Sorry for you and Ralph too, last thing you two need is more trauma. =(

 

Vicki, uh huh, I bet you do know what I am dealing with. =D  It's nice to know Raj isn't the only dad that acts odd when his kids are around. <sigh>  Saddest part to me is my boys show Raj more respect than his own kids do. Crazy isn't it? Btw congrats on having job back and dang it at the same time! lol Just when we all are cheering that you are back. =P

 

JP, as always you are such a goose!! So how's the foot healing up anyway? What caused the problem do they know? I'm nosey. ;)  Btw thanks for the email. =)

 

Loretta I send you a /wave and a /hug =)

 

Hugs to all, I have missed a day or two it has been kind of nuts here. John's year end stuff is fast getting here and it seems there is something every day to do. Not to mention I have been car shopping. I have a story on that, but it is late so I will have to hit it later. What a hoot! hehe

 

I will tackle the scruples later too, it is late and I am poopled out. =P If I missed hollering at anyone, well just get over it cause I am old and forgetful! ;P lol

 

Hugs,

~Ami

xoxo

 

 

 

 

 

 

Major team former superstar....errr probably not. Simply because superstar or not major league teams are about making money. The more they win the more they make, so having a guy on the team that is 'former' superstar implies that he is washed up....maybe he could just hang out and be a mascot or something. lol

 

Boss and inappropriate gift....hmmm no I wouldn't return it to him. I would call and thank his wife for it, and feign innocence that something so personal I knew she must have picked out for me and how thoughtful it was! At lunch then I would probably be scouring the papers for job ads.

 

On vacation and make up stories?? Why my life is a hoot?! I can't make up stories more hilarious than my life actually is!! LMAO!

 

Mag and coffee table....well you can't even see my coffee table for all the remotes and stuff on it. My house is full of males, if there was a 'guy' mag for me in there somewhere I would have to listen to so much razzing about it it just wouldn't be worth it! Not to mention one of them would hide it out of pure shame that mom even would look at such a thing. ;P  LOL

 

Country Home and Country Living for the win!!!! =)

 

Hugs,

~Ami

xoxo

 

 

 

 

Sorry to hear about Ralph's BIL. My twin brother committed suicide 16 years ago, April 27.

 

He was having problem with the law. They were about to arrest him for theft from his employer, and he knew they were about ready to pounce, so he found a "solution". It is an irrational act, so there is no way to understand why. It just leaves more questions than answers. And a big void. We were not very close but I still miss him.

 

My prayers are with you and Ralph and the family taht has been left behind with no answers. kak

 

 

I'm sure this is no shock, but I'm doing more than I should. I actually danced Sunday nite. Only slow dances and the guys knew they had to be careful and not all the dances. I saw my dr today and he released me to go back to work on the 8th. Now I'm really likeing not working so I'm not all that sure I'm happy about it. Today a friend and I drove up to a little town and shopped and I knew I had to stop quick so we drove back. It talks to me it seems As in "Stop it right now missy or I'll make you wish you had!" Dang it! Derby week is upon us and another friend and I went to the Bedlam Races where companies and such create thier own beds and then race each other. Other than that I'm fine. 7 more days. 7 more days....

I believe I've heard before about your brother, but it's interesting to hear the story again in light of what is going on here.  It is a tragedy, for everyone involved.  And believe me, I feel compassion for the BIL.  It's possible that he was facing something like your brother -- not quite the same.  I know he'd been claiming a disability after a back injury 2 - 3 years ago, although people who have seen him, think it's clear that he had long since recovered.  For Instance, about 6 or 9 months ago, he drove a moving truck here from OR, and then stood and watched while Ralph loaded all his stuff into it, then drove it home.  It sure doesn't make sense that he could drive all that way, with a disabling back injury.  And Sister had been receiving some child support that was being withheld from his disability payments, but just recently those payments went to almost nothing and then stopped.  It would seem that the disability income dried up and there could have been an investigation going on, to see if his claims were legitimate.  I have no idea.  But things must have been terribly bad to drive hime to such a choice.

 

The good (and bad) news was that the viewing was today, and that was to be followed by cremation.  So, the plan was for Ralph and Sister, and the nieces to fly out, let the girls see their father one last time, then go back to retrieve a portion of the ashes, and fromt here on they planned to stay at the hotel and way from BIL's family.  Ralph's role is going along was primarily to protect Sister from any hatefulness from the family.  But here's the part I don't get.  I certainly can understand a decision to just finalize this as soon as possible.  But BIL's parents have never talked to Sister or the girls, it was up to BIL's older sister to let them know what had been planned.  I have a strong feeling that everything was rushed in order to hopefully exclude BIL's family from being there.  It sure seems that no consideration was given to allowing his daughters time to travel from CO to see their father before it was too late.  How can anyone be so hateful?

 

Ok, I know you understand, but I'm still sorry to vent all this here; it's so ugly.  But I don't have anyone to talk to about it, other than my mom, and it's weighing on my mind so much.  At least I hope that whatever unpleasantness there is, is over now, and Ralph and his family are isolated, and able to begin to process all this.  As he told me, these girls were just beginning to get used to the idea of a divorced father...  pooey.

Just curious (nosey is more like it) but was the divorce final? You said they were in the process I think, still working on settlements?  If it wasn't final then they are still legally married....making her surviving spouse. Are you following me on this? Messy but true and genuine reason for his family to be super pissed off too. Anyway just a thought.

 

I had a client this happened to, the divorce wasn't final and hubby got shot. What was the soon to be ex was actually surviving spouse and got his entire estate...and life insurance. Now it doesn't sound like this guy may have had much, but you never know. Anyway just wondered. Also the girls, if they were still married legally should be entitled to social security. Just thoughts.

 

Hugs,

~Ami

xoxo

Well, the way I understand it, and believe me, it doesn't make sense to me either... the divorce was final about last October.  However, the property settlement had still not been finalized.  At some point, maybe January, he filed for bankruptcy, which would have been a disaster, tying all their assets up for who knows how long.  She succesfully fought that, in OR, and the bankruptcy wasn't approved.  Does any of this make any kind of sense?  Anyway, the way it stood, they were still trying to work out what was what.  In fact, and this is a whole 'nother can of worms, Ralph had been driving her second car, (his was wrecked several months ago, not his fault.)  This is not unreasonable, given that he's been paying a lot of her expenses.  The car was to become the oldest daughter's later this summer.  However, Ralph wrecked it a couple of weeks ago (his fault this time).  The upshot is, that the ins. company totaled it (I know you know what a joy that is) and offered her a settlement, but she wasn't authorized to sign over the car, because the BIL was on the title and wouldn't sign off.  She took a reduced settlement and has kept the car intending to use it for parts.  The settlement money went to the lawyer.

 

So, obviously the whole financial thing is a mess.  I don't believe she would be considered a surviving spouse, but Ralph is pretty certain that he didn't have a will, in which case, all of his assets should basically go to his daughters.  As minors, their mom should become trustee of that.  I really don't know how it will all work out, but I'm certainly hoping this will put an end to all the financial $%^&.  I doubt there's any insurance, but the girls should get survivors' benefits.  And their joint assets should be released to her, so that she can then sell the house, or whatever she needs to do to get back on her feet. 

 

But what do I know? I'm not an attorney.  Just saying some prayers for peace for everyone.