Quote From: neecie24Hey everyone,
I just wanted to bring something up that has been bothering me, and find out what you all think about it. I just watched an old Oprah show (don't know how old it is) and it was about a teenage boy that got lured into having an internet porn business when he was only 13. Have any of you seen this? It started out with a kid who was computer-savvy, who got a webcam, thinking that he could use it to make friends. Almost immediately he got sucked in by predators and it escalated to something where he was basically pulling in thousands of dollars every week by doing live sex show son this webcam. He's now become a federal witness and is in a protection program.
Obviously, this is a very scary thing, and I don't intend to let Erin have a webcam, or a computer in her rooma dn that kind of thing. But I'm wondering about something that seems innocent, but I have a feeling that it's not. At the store you can buy a Webkinz. Also you can buy Bella Sara cards. Both of these things lead the kids to websites that let them play games, feed the virtual animals, horses, whatever. There was another site that I can't remember what it was called now, where the kid could create an avatar, that could earn money with a job, buy furniture for a house and stuff like that. That one also allowed some chatting and interaction with other kids on the site, IF the parent allowed it, which I didn't. I've checked out all these sites and they seem innocent enough; they profess to be closed, secure sites, blah, blah, blah.
My question is this... am I being paranoid in thinking that the actual purposes of these things is to get kids used to using the computer, used to "living" in a virtual world, chatting with other "kids", so that when they get older, they will be comfortable in sites that aren't so secure?? Am I dreaming up a conspiracy theory that it's the predators that have designed these sites?
I've definitely limited the time Erin can spend on these activities, although in recent months, there were times when I was so exhausted that I had to take a nap, and then I couldn't monitor how much time she was spending. But these websites have always made me uncomfortable, even though they seemed to be safe. But lately, I haven't been as tired and of course, with visitors etc, she's been too busy to think much about it. Erin has a good friend her age, who I completely approve of -- I know her parents very well. But she is the one encouraging Erin to play in these sites. I'm sure that the friend is very innocent and only wants to share this with her friend. But she has an older brother (who also seems to be a good, decent kid) who I have never seen do anything BUT playing on the computer.
Am I crazy to be worrying about this? Have any of you with kids had experience with these types of sites?
I don't think it is predators that have designed these sites. I do think our children are going to have to learn to work, live and even play/socialize in the virtual world (after all what are we doing talking to each other here but socializing?) ...and yes I think children's sites do gear them up for this. It's not coming, it is here.
As far as the boy in the program. I didn't see the show so I don't know the details. But here is my take on computers, predators, and kids. First if you have taught your child about predators, been blunt up front and honest about the risk, the methods, the things to always be on guard for then I feel like you have nothing to worry about. That being said as a parent there are two things I absolutely lay down the law about in my house.
1.) No child or adult in this house has a computer that is not in the common area of the house. We have five computers running constantly in this house and at times even more depending on who is visiting. We are a computer family without question. Under no circumstances will there ever be computers in bedrooms, they will be in the open or not at all. Plain and simple. Now my house will never qualify for a spread in House and Garden, but that's ok too. ;)
2.) No webcams, there is really no point in a webcam in my opinion. Raj had one here that he had zoomed in on me at one time. We got it free with the phone service and he thought it was cool to watch me during the day....I thought it sucked and got rid of it. I think they are dumb.
3) No passwords allowed. Every password on John's computer must be recorded by us. He is not allowed to make one and he is not allowed to change one. Raj is a puter geek so he has a security system on John's puter and he knows exactly where John has been....and John knows he does.
No John has played on lots of kid sites. One of his favorites was Runescape. It is a kid oriented game that is free to play, is virus free, and we have had no issues from it. He has also played on the Disney site, and any number of gaming sites. At one time he even had a 'girl friend' on line. A little girl in Ohio, they used to talk about band and orchestra (she was in band) etc, etc. All harmless, and all I had complete access to see. So it wasn't a biggie really.
I will say though, one gal he was playing Runescape with he had been talking to a lot and he gave out his email address. A no-no, but he did it anyway, because kids will be kids. What he got in the email was naked pics of some gal that was at least college age. He showed them to me and was upset, not because they were naked, he's a red blooded boy after all ;), but because she was supposed to be a kid like him and the pics definately were not of a kid.
Ok so I didn't wig out, though I was mad as all get out. Turns out someone else reported her and poof she was gone (barred) from the site. Same type thing happened in a chat room he was in that was for kids, a couple of those people said pretty risque things and poof they were banned. So I do feel like sites geared for kids are pretty diligent in booting any suspicious activity or talk.
The thing is, there is no possible way that any site is going to 100% secure, any more than any school is, any playground is, or any place is for that matter. Predators search for places kids hang out. I find that kids sites know this and they do quite a bit in regards to trying to secure their sites. After all if a site like Webkinz gets a bad reputation there goes their sales....and Webkinz is big business. Just like Disney etc.
Internet safety is cooperation thing, it is a huge chunk a parent's responsibility to know where their kids are traveling on the information highway. Sites can do what they can do, but they cannot be 100% responsible for where our children go with their time on line.
As for the story...come on Neecie, you know that if anyone was telling Erin to take her clothes off she wouldn't dream of doing it. Neither would John. Something tells me this young lad had other issues going on for him to even want to bear all to strangers. But my opinion just from what you wrote....the computer never should have been in a bedroom.
No offense to the family involved, but it seems to me something was lacking there, kids are gullable sure, but if we teach them about predators and what is right and what is wrong shouldn't he have known better? I'm sorry for them, I truly am, but I still think there has to be deeper things wrong there. What made him want to strip? Who needs friends this badly? And if so someone needs to get to why? His parents obviously worried about him needing friends, we worried the same about John when we moved away from everyone he knew. But sheese Neecie, on-line friends are fine but it is no substitute for social interaction with real kids. Kids are not going to learn social skills on-line, though it does help with shyness in my observations. But it shouldn't be a parent's 'fix-it' for their child.
Like I said just my two coppers worth, but no I don't believe predators are designing and operating kids sites (not legitimate ones that have products and reputations), but I do believe predators look for those sites to infilterate....just as many try to land jobs where children are present.
Teaching our kids to be safe in the woods, on the streets, and on the information highway is what we can do to insure they don't become the prey.
Raising kids is tough isn't it?! Ah yes the hardest job you'll ever love!
Hugs,
~Ami
xoxox
